Do you ever say "I am going to kill myself" out loud.

[Wait-Bus]

Every time I do that - I feel I am a bit closer - it feels like a reality and I won't be here much longer

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I say "I wish I were dead" out loud to myself a lot. It's almost an involuntary reaction at this point.

 

[Mofreeko]

I say I wish I was dead quite a lot.

 

[Doom]

they don't need to know

 

[FuneralCry]

I never really talk to myself and of course it would never be a good idea saying that out loud to someone else for obvious reasons. But I'm constantly thinking about it, pretty much every waking moment is spent wishing to die. It makes sense for me to feel that way as there is nothing more ideal than permanently leaving this world and the thought of being dead is the only thing that could ever possibly comfort me. I will always despise existing in every single way, and to exist is such an useless, yet so awful thing.

 

[Judy Garland]

I say, I need to die all the time to myself. I also beg God to take me home, and I say "Please let me come home when I take that Sodium Nitrite" allllll the time.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

If I'm really stressed out. I prefer not to though, but if I lived on my own I don't need to keep that to myself.

 

[hopeless302]

nope. I say "I wish I was dead" a lot though.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

I say "I just wanna fucking DIE" a LOT.

 

[Life_and_Death]

like, everyday. sometimes more than once

 

[bgd2022]

Constantly. Not where other people hear but to myself dozens of times a day. It's become my go to thought about anything remotely negative or irritating. I do feel like each time I say it, that barrier stopping me gets a little thinner.

 

[Sannti]

Before sleep I very often say "I wish to not wake up"

 

[Unending]

I used to say this to myself very frequently in addition to praying for god to kill me every evening but now its all internal dialog.

 

[Lostinspace]

All the time, like a tic, not out loud of course, but it's like a reflex at this point. Also things like I'm so disgusting, ugly, useless, as soon as a negative emotion comes up I feel like I need to remind myself what a failure I am

 

[-Raven's Night-]

last time I was at a live concert, metal one, and in the interaction, a guy screamed the exactly same thing. Which is so damn striking to me that people can scream it aloud in the crowd. I wouldn't be able to do that. I talk to myself a lot and that I want to die, I talk too much to myself literally.

 

[lanahelp]

All the time. Even to loved ones. How cruel. I say"I can't take anymore". I want to end my life. God please take me. I think I mostly mean it. I have a date that is very soon. I keep moving it as the planned day approaches and I can't do it. Never had an attempt. Lyme disease just has me in too much pain and ideations 24/7. I look for a break. I think I'm more ready for peace.

 

[Mixxd]

Yup pretty much any time I think about anything negative/embarassing/anxiety inducing I remind myself I'll be dead soon so it doesn't really matter. I never say it out loud though, at most l'll whisper it to myself but it's usually just in my head.

 

[wanttodie]

i say I want to die

 

[Pomegranate]

I like to be true to my words, so typically I don't say something unless I plan to 100% go through it. When it comes to death, I haven't made it inevitable. Both my thinking and my actions show it. I'm still taking my medications, going to the therapist, even taking a full course of electroconvulsive therapy. At the same time, though, the failures of these treatments don't make suicide an inconceivability. I'm still thinking about killing myself from time to time. The mere thought of Nembutal makes me feel better. Pronouncing it to every body around me? What good does that do? On the other hand, it brings me harm, because now other people know about my plans, and they can stand in my way. Would I really want to dig a hole so big I can't get out of?

 

[Huntfish34]

I Usually say... I wish I was fucking dead. I'll say it to. myself and aloud, but more so when I'm alone. I say it Much much more than I used to, maybe that means I'm closer? Who knows.. I feel like an extremely lost soul these days. Fml.

 

[Hyd999]

I say them under my breath all the time "i fucking wish i was dead" "i want to die" "i hate myself" are my go to phrases

 

[wesv]

I usually say I can always exit out of life. I don't plan to live long.

 

[clown]

Now that I think about it... yes I actually fucking do.

 

[nopointinlife]

I say Please kill me God, take my life, every single morning nonstop when I wake up and as I cook breakfast for the family, get ready for work, during the drive to work after I drop the kids off at school, and in the elevator to my office. I say it less on the days I work remotely….so I guess that's a benefit to working at home.

 

[Wait-Bus]

I like to be true to my words, so typically I don't say something unless I plan to 100% go through it. When it comes to death, I haven't made it inevitable. Both my thinking and my actions show it. I'm still taking my medications, going to the therapist, even taking a full course of electroconvulsive therapy. At the same time, though, the failures of these treatments don't make suicide an inconceivability. I'm still thinking about killing myself from time to time. The mere thought of Nembutal makes me feel better. Pronouncing it to every body around me? What good does that do? On the other hand, it brings me harm, because now other people know about my plans, and they can stand in my way. Would I really want to dig a hole so big I can't get out of?

Thank you for your thoughts. Its well thought out :)

 

[SamTam33]

Yes, and every other variation of "I should die" that you can think of. I make songs about it on my 'good' days, then dance around like Uma Thurman and John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.

Gonna jump in the water, float away.
Jump in the water, yay yay yay.

(I never claimed to be an advanced song writer...)

 

[Wannagonow]

No. I don't say it out loud. I live alone and talking out loud to myself would make me feel I was adding a new level to my craziness. But if it works for others, that's awesome. I do however think about it, dream about it and wish for it hourly, every day.

 

[PurpleMonkey]

All the time! It's usually variations like "I'm gonna **** myself tomorrow" or "I can't wait to **** myself" interwoven with "nobody likes me" and/or "I fucking hate myself".

I typically say it when alone as a sort of stress reliever, and a reminder that my misery can have an expiration date if I take initiative.

Glad I'm not the only character out there with that quirk.

 

[TydalWave]

Out loud? Maybe...

In my head, all the time. In fact there was a year where I don't think I missed a day of saying it to myself.

It's negative thought looping.

I can't tell you what will help you. But for me, it helped to think about my thinking. Meaning, when you say or think these things ask yourself "Why am I saying this? What meaning does this have? How does this benefit me"

If the answer is no, it does not benefit me, then it gives you validation immediately to discredit/devalue the negative thought. OVer time, this will lessen the negative thought looping as you start to intuitively avoid meaningless/unhelpful thought processes.

 

[Hirokami]

Usually, I just keep it in my head. Though, there are times when I mutter, "I want to die" or "I want to kill myself."