Do You Ever Miss a Time When Things Weren't That Great?

[KafkaF]

You know, lately I've been missing the end of 2011/beginning of 2012 a lot. And really that's a little weird.

My 2010 was horrible. I was in high school and was going through my first depression. Then at the start of 2011 I met my first girlfriend. The time I spent with her was incredible and I was very happy. But then towards the end of 2011 my then girlfriend broke up with me.

I also went to college for the first time at the start of 2011. Which started off alright, but my social anxiety and failure anxiety quickly started getting the better of me and I couldn't attend classes anymore after a little while.

I also didn't want to admit it to myself back then because I wanted to be "over her" immediately, but I really missed my previous girlfriend a lot still. And overall the end of 2011/beginning of 2012 was the start of my second depression.

I still even thought of suicide back then, even if it was to a much less serious extent than I have been doing during the current depression.

And yet lately I've been thinking of that period a lot. I've been thinking about sitting on the bus, going to college. I've been thinking of the walks I used to take at night with a friend of mine where we'd both talk about life and about what we were writing at the time. Christmas that year we actually mostly spent together brainstorming about a video game I was trying to make. That might sound lame as hell to a lot of you, but it was actually one of the most pleasant Christmases I've ever had.

Still... it's kind of strange to look back fondly on that period of time. It really was a time when, much like now, my life felt like it was falling apart completely. My girlfriend dumped me and my college career was crashing and burning, my social anxiety and failure anxiety were going completely haywire and my depression was back. Really not good.

And yet thinking about it now I would absolutely go back to then if I could.

I think part of it is those moments of light I did have among all the dark. I think it's also because I feel like I physically looked much better back then (my body dysmorphia weighing in here). But I think above all it's because I think of it as a time of possibilities.

My life might have been falling apart at the time, but I was still so young back then. There was still so much I could do to fix everything. Whereas now I generally feel like the ship has sailed and I'm too late to fix anything.

I want those possibilities back. I want that hope back. That promise back.

Idk, does anyone else here ever think back to a time that really wasn't that great for you objectively and kind of miss it?

 

[passivethought121]

Late 2021-Mid 2022. Hardly ate during that period. I looked/felt lobotomized. I couldn't think, nothing phased me, and it was so much easier to sit still and sleep. Now I can't do any of those.

 

[moron]

I totally understand your sentiment. A time when things were bad, but nowhere near as bad as they would become.

In 2014, I was in prison, I was in a work release program where I actually went out and worked in a kitchen of a family-owned restaurant. It was a better time because I had optimism, I knew things would get better for me when I got out, which they did for a long time.

Fast forward years later to now, and my life is so much worse than I could have ever imagined it would be, and I do not have any hope for the future like I did back then.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I miss my childhood, despite it being traumatic and just generally horrible. At least back then I still had hope and fantasized about what adulthood would be like. I thought life would be good, eventually. I miss not having responsibilities and having forms of escapism.

 

[executioner1983]

All the time. I miss when I let my eating disorder control my whole life. I think I understand why though, I guess different types of afflictions are easier to deal with than others. Obsessing and stressing over my body is way less taxing than what I'm doing now, which is obsessing over my will to live and the state of the world. My head was always in the clouds whenever I was in the throes of my eating disorder, and I guess I liked that better than being grounded all the time and forced to face the reality of my situation.

 

[orAbleCk]

I read somewhere that this is actually a psychological phenomena where we tend to view the past with rose colored lens as compared to our now. Even if the past wasn't actually all that good and we can remember objectively bad shit that has happened to us during that period. It's so weird but I know this is true because even while knowing I was depressed to the point of barely functioning several years ago, I still crave traveling back to that specific time period even though it would probably still suck. Maybe not as much as now but it still wouldn't be pretty. I guess the only thing we can do is confront our nows as much as physically and mentally possible and even if that means just living minute by minute which is how it feels lately. :/

 

[bugs_for_brains]

yeah i miss being around 11-12 so much because it was the only time in my life i've had an actual small group of friends and i was close to them. I had my first and only crush on one of my closest friends after getting closer to her and I remember her and my other best friend made me super super happy. I was going through a lot with my social anxiety being at its worst and my depression starting to kick in. As well as having family problems with my dad leaving us for like the 3rd time, adjusting to life with a disabled sibling who needs around the clock supervision and care and can't talk (i struggle to bond with him bc i cant communicate with him but im a lot better at looking after him/knowing what he needs now) as well as just my parents going back and forth between praising me and telling me im a horrible and selfish person every time i made a mistake (never forgot when my nan, my favorite person ever, found out I was suicidal at age 11 and when she was mad at me told me she'd give me her tablets to od on and sit with me while I died :P).

But throughout all this, I would go to school everyday which made my anxiety skyrocket but having my friends there helped me feel so much more positive. They never treated me like a freak for behaving odd or being silent (something i dealt with a few years later after growing up a lil) and the girl i had a crush on would actively help me by supporting me in social situations or explaining stuff abt me to my other friends. I had a lot of fun with them all and in particular I always remember when we used to lay down and roll around in the grass on the playground every lunch in the summer. We would talk about so many different things and I felt so happy in those moments.

So yeah I miss those days even though things were pretty messy objectively. Even tho some of the more 'fixable' situations i was in are improved (e.g. idgaf abt my dad anymore), many of them are the same or are worse/feel worse because I have less happy moments and lack connection with others

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I don't miss any time during my life. I always wished I could be dead instead

 

[Professor K]

We will always miss the past and express somewhat of a contempt for the present moment.
It's delusional when you actually take the time to look through how it actually was.

In the present moment, we only focus on the negative aspects of our life
And when looking back at those moments, we only focus on the positive ones because it's gone.

You will miss the past from the moment you start comparing it with your present because of this 'my life is so unpleasant rn' bias
Even if your life is great now and you had a dark past, you will focus on the little comforts you no longer have from this past and miss it.