Siamese Believe
Member
- Dec 8, 2025
- 30
For example, whenever I feel scared or guilty about what I'm gonna do. I go look at online posts and videos of women talking about how they wouldn't date short ugly men and feel no attraction to them, insulting them, and talking about how they prefer tall handsome men.
This content hurts to read and watch, reminds me of my sub-humanity. So when I do, the thought of successfully going through with my plan seems easy, like I would go through with no hesitation.
After all if I don't do it, I have many many decades of loneliness ahead of me, my consciousness trapped in this disgusting fleshly vessel of blood and bone that no woman could ever even fathom being deeply attracted to. A car that functions but is so aesthetically unappealing that no one will ever ride it.
It feels good knowing that this body doesn't have to define who I am and who I was when I was alive, I will destroy it. Ending the mistake my parents made.
I had no choice in how I got to look, my height, my IQ, none of it. So I'm taking control by ending it. If I cannot have a life full of love and joy, then I will be granted death whether it hurts or not.
The day when I do it, I'm gonna listen to music and expose myself to a lot of this demeaning content. Only if I found myself hesitating though or needed time to work up to it.
This content hurts to read and watch, reminds me of my sub-humanity. So when I do, the thought of successfully going through with my plan seems easy, like I would go through with no hesitation.
After all if I don't do it, I have many many decades of loneliness ahead of me, my consciousness trapped in this disgusting fleshly vessel of blood and bone that no woman could ever even fathom being deeply attracted to. A car that functions but is so aesthetically unappealing that no one will ever ride it.
It feels good knowing that this body doesn't have to define who I am and who I was when I was alive, I will destroy it. Ending the mistake my parents made.
I had no choice in how I got to look, my height, my IQ, none of it. So I'm taking control by ending it. If I cannot have a life full of love and joy, then I will be granted death whether it hurts or not.
The day when I do it, I'm gonna listen to music and expose myself to a lot of this demeaning content. Only if I found myself hesitating though or needed time to work up to it.