Alpha_Draco_Pegasus
Member
- Jun 16, 2019
- 48
I love dreams. I mean, it's like a break from life. I never think about killing myself when I'm dreaming. I never feel depressed when I'm dreaming. Sometimes, very uncommonly now, my dreams are very thrilling. Usually, my dreams are just more like, being buried in my thoughts. It's more like a kind of thinking than it is a kind of experience for me.
I can always wake myself up from my dream, if I start to get scared, even if I don't seem to know that I'm dreaming. I sort of wish I didn't have that ability so I would be forced to endure whatever horror was about to occur, because afterwards I am curious. I would probably end up being tickled. I think every time I wake myself up, it is because I'm afraid that I'm about to be tickled by somebody. I used to have bad dreams about my parents tickling me.
What's really cool is that, sometimes when I'm awake, I'll get a snapshot-memory of a dream I had years ago that I haven't thought of since. All of a sudden I'll remember an instance from a dream I hadn't thought about in 11 years. Then I'll forget. It's awesome. Then there are a handful of other dreams that I'll randomly remember on a more frequent basis. It's cool when those pop up too.
Nightmares are something I wish I would experience more often, a dream where I would wake myself up due to an actual fear of something terrifying, not just because I was about to be tickled. One time I had this dream about some kind of cassette recording. It's always a very vague recollection, but it was something like, I had gone around recording myself with a hand held cassette-corder, and then later on in the dream I ended up playing the tape back. Whatever played back was kind of like deja vu, in the sense that I suddenly remembered that what it was I had actually recorded was something very frightening. It was like I recorded some demonic perversion of myself and when I heard the recording it was like the realest thing I had ever experienced, more real than anything I'd experienced while awake. All I remember is hearing the tape play back all warped and distorted, hearing myself say "I am the white water", but then I woke myself up because I was too afraid to keep hearing the tape. In the same dream I think I was playing with myself in a mirror, and I would do something like knock on the glass, and then seconds later a knock of a different rhythm would play back at me. This was scary as well.
One dream I had involved being on the computer, on facebook, posting videos of the music I'd recorded. A few years back in my early twenties I made some extratone/noise/experimental music with Audacity, but in these dreams, the music I recorded was like a lost recording that I'd forgotten about. It's like, I swore that was a track I made, I swore it existed. But when I woke up, to my disappointment I would realize that it wasn't a real recording and it was not posted anywhere. Watching the videos and listening to it on facebook was surreal though. I also remember watching a video of myself on facebook where I was talking to myself/the camera, and I was all messed up. I think I was supposed to be really messed up on meth, saying really freakish things, which again, seemed so real, in that they could have been just as legitimately actualized in my unconscious on an equivalent reality to the things that I normally think about and experience consciously. I don't know how it works, that's just how I can describe how it seemed.
So on these infrequent occasions, my dreams are very interesting and I wish there was someway to recall whatever it is that I'll instantly forget when I wake up. I bet I have all these lost memories of strange thoughts buried deep in my head that never surface. I just have to go about my life in this comparatively mundane, VERY bland and uninteresting world.
So at least, I have the possibility of a more-than-real experience occurring for me in my dreams. It's something for me to look forward to and hope for. I don't care what science or psychology say, my experience of some of these dreams is much more real than my "conscious" life. Even the ones that are just a mutation of my day-to-day thoughts are more interesting than anything there is to think about while awake.
I can always wake myself up from my dream, if I start to get scared, even if I don't seem to know that I'm dreaming. I sort of wish I didn't have that ability so I would be forced to endure whatever horror was about to occur, because afterwards I am curious. I would probably end up being tickled. I think every time I wake myself up, it is because I'm afraid that I'm about to be tickled by somebody. I used to have bad dreams about my parents tickling me.
What's really cool is that, sometimes when I'm awake, I'll get a snapshot-memory of a dream I had years ago that I haven't thought of since. All of a sudden I'll remember an instance from a dream I hadn't thought about in 11 years. Then I'll forget. It's awesome. Then there are a handful of other dreams that I'll randomly remember on a more frequent basis. It's cool when those pop up too.
Nightmares are something I wish I would experience more often, a dream where I would wake myself up due to an actual fear of something terrifying, not just because I was about to be tickled. One time I had this dream about some kind of cassette recording. It's always a very vague recollection, but it was something like, I had gone around recording myself with a hand held cassette-corder, and then later on in the dream I ended up playing the tape back. Whatever played back was kind of like deja vu, in the sense that I suddenly remembered that what it was I had actually recorded was something very frightening. It was like I recorded some demonic perversion of myself and when I heard the recording it was like the realest thing I had ever experienced, more real than anything I'd experienced while awake. All I remember is hearing the tape play back all warped and distorted, hearing myself say "I am the white water", but then I woke myself up because I was too afraid to keep hearing the tape. In the same dream I think I was playing with myself in a mirror, and I would do something like knock on the glass, and then seconds later a knock of a different rhythm would play back at me. This was scary as well.
One dream I had involved being on the computer, on facebook, posting videos of the music I'd recorded. A few years back in my early twenties I made some extratone/noise/experimental music with Audacity, but in these dreams, the music I recorded was like a lost recording that I'd forgotten about. It's like, I swore that was a track I made, I swore it existed. But when I woke up, to my disappointment I would realize that it wasn't a real recording and it was not posted anywhere. Watching the videos and listening to it on facebook was surreal though. I also remember watching a video of myself on facebook where I was talking to myself/the camera, and I was all messed up. I think I was supposed to be really messed up on meth, saying really freakish things, which again, seemed so real, in that they could have been just as legitimately actualized in my unconscious on an equivalent reality to the things that I normally think about and experience consciously. I don't know how it works, that's just how I can describe how it seemed.
So on these infrequent occasions, my dreams are very interesting and I wish there was someway to recall whatever it is that I'll instantly forget when I wake up. I bet I have all these lost memories of strange thoughts buried deep in my head that never surface. I just have to go about my life in this comparatively mundane, VERY bland and uninteresting world.
So at least, I have the possibility of a more-than-real experience occurring for me in my dreams. It's something for me to look forward to and hope for. I don't care what science or psychology say, my experience of some of these dreams is much more real than my "conscious" life. Even the ones that are just a mutation of my day-to-day thoughts are more interesting than anything there is to think about while awake.
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