Thanks for your responses.
For me things like housing, benefits, human cruelty, not caring about my needs, poor quality of life, being forced to live so they can keep on making me want to die - I count so much avoidable suicidality. As
@AnnonyBox says i think even if i lived centuries in the future i would end up feeling suicidal But everything after i become suicidal is so cruel because they don't have empathy for suicidal individuals. They put so much effort in but it is done without empathy so they don't try to prevent more suicidal, suffering, feelings and thoughts.
@Dr Iron Arc what i am thinking is they don't care about the conditions of life of suicidal individuals to make suicidality avoidable. They just expect too much from suicidal individuals to face any harms and any quality of life but we cannot expect much in the way of what we need and what is important for our safety and needs.
What's the point of that?

Only this "game" is more pointless & masochistic -
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/
counting-game.10053/
the point of the question? I wasn't sure when i posted it but now i think it is to get some personal experiences to make a point but none of these replies are going to elicit humane feelings from those who don't have empathy for suicidal individuals.
The hardest thing to make those against the legalisation of assisted suicide is to give them the empathy to recognise that death is not the worst thing.
"it doesn't matter to us how awful your life is and how awful you feel you just have to keep on living" - this is how they care