Do you consider yourself as a girl or a woman?

[sserafim]

Do you consider yourself as a girl or a woman? Personally, even though I'm already 23 (against my will, I didn't want to live past 18), I still consider myself as a girl, I can never see myself as a woman or a real adult. Nothing about womanhood or adulthood appeals to me (wife, motherhood, nurturing, caretaking, etc). In my mind, I'm still a little girl, I think it's sad that I had to grow up and become an adult. It kind of feels like I and my innocence got corrupted, if that makes sense. I wish I could be bright-eyed and happy again, I miss the carefreeness and endless possibilities/hope of my childhood. I miss being a kid. My biggest wish is to be a kid again, I hate being an adult...

 

[hikikomorizombie]

girl for sure. i don't think i'll ever feel like an adult, even if i were to live a full life, & what i've heard from ppl older than me + the elderly confirms that.

@ 1st i viewed it as a negative thing, but i like the parts of me that still retain my childishnessfor the most part @ least, lol.

 

[sserafim]

girl for sure. i don't think i'll ever feel like an adult, even if i were to live a full life, & what i've heard from ppl older than me + the elderly confirms that.

@ 1st i viewed it as a negative thing, but i like the parts of me that still retain my childishnessfor the most part @ least, lol.

I don't want to live a full life either, I always thought that I was meant to die young. I feel like I wasn't meant to live past 18, honestly I never even saw or envisioned myself becoming an adult or reaching adulthood.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think womanhood is really defined by caretaking, motherhood, and being a wife anymore, at least in the West. It's evolved way past that and encompasses a wide range of different lifestyle choices, from being single and having a career to being a stay at home mother. It can't really be reduced down to just motherhood, being a wife, and caretaking anymore.

With that out of way, I'd say that I still feel more like a girl than I do a woman. I feel like I haven't developed that much since high school. Hell, I've had a few instances people mistaking me for 15-year-old due to a mixture of my looks and demeanor. I once met up with this dude back when I was 19 (not a smart idea on my part. Even he told me that if I were his kid he'd freaked out, but I didn't give a fuck) and afterwards he messaged me talking about how I looked a lot younger in real life. Even my own physical appearance screams "girl" to some people.

Point is, I still feel more like a girl despite the fact that I'm about to turn 21 soon. It's pathetic really. All of my female peers talk about their jobs and dating and going out, meanwhile I still live with my mom and spend most of my time watching YouTube videos online. I have no skills whatsoever and even my mom has said that I'm sheltered. I feel like I haven't grown up at all.

The funny part is that while I kind of hate it, I also kind of prefer. I'm scared of growing old so not just feeling like a girl but also being viewed as a girl to some degree by others makes me feel good. At the same time, I hate it because it's a reminder of how behind I am both mentally and experience wise to my peers.

 

[sserafim]

I don't think womanhood is really defined by caretaking, motherhood, and being a wife anymore, at least in the West. It's evolved way past that and encompasses a wide range of different lifestyle choices, from being single and having a career to being a stay at home mother. It can't really be reduced down to just motherhood, being a wife, and caretaking anymore.

With that out of way, I'd say that I still feel more like a girl than I do a woman. I feel like I haven't developed that much since high school. Hell, I've had a few instances people mistaking me for 15-year-old due to a mixture of my looks and demeanor. I once met up with this dude back when I was 19 (not a smart idea on my part. Even he told me that if I were his kid he'd freaked out, but I didn't give a fuck) and afterwards he messaged me talking about how I looked a lot younger in real life. Even my own physical appearance screams "girl" to some people.

Point is, I still feel more like a girl despite the fact that I'm about to turn 21 soon. It's pathetic really. All of my female peers talk about their jobs and dating and going out, meanwhile I still live with my mom and spend most of my time watching YouTube videos online. I have no skills whatsoever and even my mom has said that I'm sheltered. I feel like I haven't grown up at all.

The funny part is that while I kind of hate it, I also kind of prefer. I'm scared of growing old so not just feeling like a girl but also being viewed as a girl to some degree by others makes me feel good. At the same time, I hate it because it's a reminder of how behind I am both mentally and experience wise to my peers.

I guess, but society still expects women to eventually get married and become mothers. Society's checklist that most people conform to is "career, partner, children, family, house", and most people abide by the rules. I think most people do to it fit in because those who deviate from the norm are seen as "weird", and people usually want to fit in. Becoming a wife and mother are just things I don't want or desire for myself. I agree, I feel like a girl at heart and my mom also calls me "sheltered". I also feel like I haven't grown up, I still feel like a little kid. Personally I don't hate it, I don't understand how people would actually want to become adults. "Being independent" was something I never really wanted or valued, I never had the desire to leave home or support myself. I'm terrified of entering the real world, the thought of having to work for a living scares me. I'm also scared of growing old, it's one of my biggest fears. It just terrifies me.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I feel like a woman. But caretaking, motherhood, etc. has nothing to do with how I define womanhood. And I have a love-hate relationship with it.

I'm not small at all, so I don't feel like a girl and I actually haven't been treated like a "girl," in so many ways, in forever. I was either treated like a man, or like a fully grown woman in the sense that I was/could be perceived as a sex object and needed to find ways to prevent it. I don't have any innocence or optimism or joy, so there's nothing about me that identifies with girlhood. I resent being an adult as well and never wanted to be one, I had the whole plan to die before twenty-five and failed, but I'm sure all those parts of me died with trauma over time, and now I am an adult with adult responsibilities. I'm no longer naive, I'm pretty jaded now that my eyes are wide open to the nature of humanity and to me that's really what womanhood and adulthood means. And since I don't even remember what being a girl feels like, I don't really miss it. I think I just used to lament just not remembering what it feels like. But every year that I advance into adulthood and have to do new, uncomfortable, annoying things, I kind of feel like a girl in the adult world? If that makes sense. It's like I don't really belong here either; other women have it much more together than I could ever hope to imagine, and they're stronger than I'll ever be.

 

[sserafim]

I feel like a woman. But caretaking, motherhood, etc. has nothing to do with how I define womanhood. And I have a love-hate relationship with it.

I'm not small at all, so I don't feel like a girl and I actually haven't been treated like a "girl," in so many ways, in forever. I was either treated like a man, or like a fully grown woman in the sense that I was/could be perceived as a sex object and needed to find ways to prevent it. I don't have any innocence or optimism or joy, so there's nothing about me that identifies with girlhood. I resent being an adult as well and never wanted to be one, I had the whole plan to die before twenty-five and failed, but I'm sure all those parts of me died with trauma over time, and now I am an adult with adult responsibilities. I'm no longer naive, I'm pretty jaded now that my eyes are wide open to the nature of humanity and to me that's really what womanhood and adulthood means. And since I don't even remember what being a girl feels like, I don't really miss it. I think I just used to lament just not remembering what it feels like. But every year that I advance into adulthood and have to do new, uncomfortable, annoying things, I kind of feel like a girl in the adult world? If that makes sense. It's like I don't really belong here either; other women have it much more together than I could ever hope to imagine, and they're stronger than I'll ever be.

My plan is to die before 25 so I never have to become a real adult. I hate how aging/getting older happens against our will, I wish that we could have the choice to consent to it or not.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Me personally, I'm quite in touch with my inner child and I know what you mean- adulthood sucks. Plus, I'm not at all confident- which gives off immature vibes and I look and dress quite young. I'd still say I was a woman though- more than a girl- I am 44 for a start. It's just that I probably don't comply with common notions of femininity.

I don't like it when (usually men) call women 'girls' though- I find it really patronising. They wouldn't like it if we called them a boy! Most of the men I've come across that do it also do tend to give off misogynistic vibes. Weirdly though, it's kind of nice when women do it- 'I'm meeting up with the girls for coffee.'

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Neither, I'm a man dammit...

Okay, I'll leave now...

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I'm a human female

 

[Bianka]

I consider myself a woman. I'm not sure which one is "better" childhood or adulthood but it is what it is. Suddenly you have responsibilities, financial questions, uni, work, relationships change... it's a lot. I'm proud that I was able to "mature" to these circumstances.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

Wow, there's this weird feeling when I think about the fact that I just got out of my teenage years. I feel like I'm already mature enough to do a lot of things.

I'm mature enough to get into a uni, live alone far from home in another country, be a pessimist concluding that reality sucks, life is not worth living and it's always better never to have been born, and make my own decision regarding when and how to ctb (am I considered too young for the last two? Don't know, don't care).

But I'm never and perhaps will never be mature enough to be a "woman".

I'm never mature enough to understand exactly how to maintain an adult friendship. My social skills are like those of a ten-year-old. Makes me feel stupid all the time. I never know how to properly deal with conflicts instead of just avoiding or running away.
I'm never mature enough to be in an actual relationship or to accept sex. That's why I'm still a virgin and will likely remain this way for the rest of my life.
I'm still not over with "toys". It's just changed from toys and games that kids play to a few science and philosophy theories. Useful and practical adulting skills? Not interested.
I have weird emotional response to things and I never quite understand why. It makes me feel childish.
Studying? Yes! Getting a job? Hell no.
I never understand the concept of "adult responsibility" Well maybe getting a job can be done eventually if I have to be self-reliant, but having a family? Raising kids? Cannot even imagine how anyone is able to do that.

It seems that a lot of teenage girls prefers be seen as women? I feel like I'm always gonna be a girl no matter how old I become.

 

[RedIris]

Pretty sure i will be calling myself a girl for a while since im already in the 20s. The adult life is so - stressfull. So full of responsibilities and after you are done with all of them you are left with no time for yourself or you are too tired.
Adult life is an endless rat race. We will work till we drop dead.
I admire people who manage to find happiness within all that. Some people start a family and have kids, some are adventures and go traveling, some do small things like hobbies at home etc. But i dont think i will be able to find that kind of happiness for myself that will keep me pushing trough the rat race. Simply nothing seems worthy enough to keep living like this.

Would love to be a 13yr girl again. To live trough the childhood again. Cant explain how much i desire to feel the joy of being just a little girl.

Sorry for a long rant - got really nostalgic on this one ~

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

I'm a young woman and see myself as such. Legally speaking I'm an adult and I'm biologically speaking of the female sex and in terms of gender female too. To me it's just a definition and it fits me. I don't want to be seen as a "girl" anymore because it can have pedophilic undertones. How should I feel about a man finding me attractive if I'm still a "girl" even if only in my mind? Despite not being in a relationship it's important to state that my body is developed enough and not that of a 10 year old. The word "girl" entails childhood.

 

[Heartaches]

I don't really identify myself as a woman or a girl nowadays and I don't think I will ever, but I partly identify my childhood experiences with girlhood. I was raised a girl without having too many gendered restrictions and have some fond memories.​

 

[restless.dreams]

I'm 25, so mentally an adult. I don't think I ever really felt like a girl. I was an "old soul" growing up and had trouble fitting in with other girls my age. On the other hand, I don't feel much like a woman either. I think of women as strong, confident, beautiful, mature -- everything I'm not. Honestly I feel more like some weird swamp creature than a real person :P

 

[RemainingDubious]

Do you consider yourself as a girl or a woman?

 

[Malaria]

I'm almost 30 and still feel like a teenage girl at times, sometimes even younger than that. I definitely have "arrested development" and am overly naive about things even though I should know better.

 

[InAgony]

Ashamed to say I'm 38 and still feel like a girl in my mind. I've been so isolated from life and have missed out on many of the experiences growing up that my mind is trapped in my younger years pretty much. I suppose in some ways I feel older, but definitely not my age. Also, I look really young that I get asked if I'm 18, so that doesn't help! I think also to some extent my mind has always rejected the idea of being a woman...I do have an aversion to it.