Discussion Do you consider yourself and optimist or a pessimist?

[cyclicism]

I'm anticipating I'll be in the minority, but I find that I'm an optimist.

 

[onthefence]

I'm definitely a pessimist but am trying to mask it because people get tired of it.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

A good friend once asked if I was an introvert or an extrovert. When I said I thought of myself as an introvert she laughed and defined me in a very accurate way, so accurate that it shocked me: she called me a traumatized extrovert.

Same with the optimist/pessimist dichotomy. I'd say I'm a traumatized optimist. I always wanted to have hope, I always wanted things to turn out alright, I dreamed of happy endings. Life has taught me different. These past few months have destroyed me emotionally and made me give up hope on getting back on my feet to keep on fighting. I thought I could trust again and love again and believe in myself and in the possibility of having a better life and accomplishing my dreams...and then life kicked me again in the fucking face.

 

[Lullaby]

Can you explain why? I'm definitely curious.

I'm a reluctant pessimist these days because I feel like my life has really taught me to expect the worst; from situations, people, etc.

Sometimes I'll feel really hopeful about something, but it'll just blow up in my face. There's this small feeling in the back of my head that I'll potentially miss out on some stuff because I'm so jaded, but I'd honestly rather that at this point, than risk it and contribute to my pain any further. I really can't take any more of it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm a pessimist. Worse- I catastrophize an awful lot. The upside is, I'm more prepared for imminent disaster! Plus, it can be a relief if it doesn't turn out that badly. Downside is that there's usually something or other I'm worrying about.

A question for you OP, do you think these traits are more inherited or, learned? I imagine it's a mixture although, probably more learned I imagine.

 

[missedmybus]

For me it depends on the situation. For myself I think I am a pessimist, but when I am around people/am in a difficult external situation, I think I am quite optimistic. I am pretty good at finding practical situations for things, and also at executing them/helping people execute them.

Things are always easier with a bit of distance. When you are in them yourself, it is often difficult to see the forest for the trees or whatever the expression is.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm probably more like a pessimist. After I suffer from a big failure in life I see the negative things much easier than the positive things. Unfortunately, the negative experiences always outweigh the positive ones in my life now.

 

[Prism]

Somewhere between a pessimist and a realist I guess... it's hard to tell if I'm catastrophizing or if reality just really is that bad.

 

[Anonymousa]

I am definitely a pessimist. I always worry about worst case scenarios and see more negatives from things most of the time.

 

[cyclicism]

A good friend once asked if I was an introvert or an extrovert. When I said I thought of myself as an introvert she laughed and defined me in a very accurate way, so accurate that it shocked me: she called me a traumatized extrovert.

Same with the optimist/pessimist dichotomy. I'd say I'm a traumatized optimist. I always wanted to have hope, I always wanted things to turn out alright, I dreamed of happy endings. Life has taught me different. These past few months have destroyed me emotionally and made me give up hope on getting back on my feet to keep on fighting. I thought I could trust again and love again and believe in myself and in the possibility of having a better life and accomplishing my dreams...and then life kicked me again in the fucking face.

I find that most people conflate social awkwardness and introvertism (and vice versa), which isn't always the case. 'Traumatized extrovert' is very intriguing, I've never heard someone put it that way, and I like how much depth it provides compared to plain 'extrovert/introvert'.
And, yeah, introvert/extrovert and optimist/pessimist dichotomies are somewhat silly, since the side one leans towards is highly situational and prone to change.
I hope you're able to catch a break from your situation. If only the world didn't traumatize all our optimists!

Can you explain why? I'm definitely curious

I've found that worrying mostly accomplishes nothing, and I'm fortunate enough to have developed the ability to stop myself from unnecessarily freaking out about things (in most cases). This has sort of led me to have a 'whatever happens, happens' mindset.

Surprisingly, having suicidal episodes seem to make me more optimistic. It starts off as a nihilistic optimism (nothing matters, it's fine that I don't do X, it won't matter in the long run if there is no long run), but it eventually simmers down to a gentle appreciation of whatever I have. It really is a freeing feeling, to not excessively worry about everything all the time. Idk, I tend to see my relationship with suicide as loving (I personify a lot of my emotions), which seems to have framed the way I perceive the world.

I'm also good at just Not Thinking about things I'd rather not recall.

A question for you OP, do you think these traits are more inherited or, learned? I imagine it's a mixture although, probably more learned I imagine.

Most definitely learned, I'd say (nurture trumps nature imo). I'm pretty sure I know why I think the way I think, and I can say the same for those I'm close to.

Somewhere between a pessimist and a realist I guess... it's hard to tell if I'm catastrophizing or if reality just really is that bad.

Yeah, and that's the problem with pessimism for me. Whenever I feel pessimistic (doomer mindset, as I would put it) I can feel how it poisons everything I do. Nihilistic pessimism feels like shit compared to nihilistic optimism. I much prefer being a fun silly guy who's just floating around

 

[quietism]

I'm a pessimist, but maybe not in the traditional sense of the world. What bothers me is when I find people and culture so predictable. When I know what's going to happen in a given situation, if I verbalise that it'll usually just sound pessimistic to other people irrespective of its accuracy. It's really boring for me to go through those motions.

So I guess I just like surprises. I want people to try and give me fun unexpected moments, because I think that's a key part of what makes me happy.

Even the number of the billions of the heartbeats,
to you, is a trifle no more than a blink of the eye.
Although I'm trapped in the past and lamenting at the future,
I must not allow even a dust-sized miscalculation.

 

[avalon_]

I'm a realist. I look at reality for what it is and try to make the best of my situation. In that sense I am an optimist because I think there is always something you can do to alleviate your suffering (even if it means letting go of oneself completely).

I also like to dream but I do my best to not let my dreams turn into delusions. I always try to keep a healthy relationship between truth and fiction.

 

[diviosd]

Realist

 

[futurecorpse]

Realist pessimist fersure. I anticipate the negative outcomes and for the most part I'm right. I try to have some hope that things will work out, but I make sure to expect the unexpected and make new plans

 

[4everHeartBroken]

I find myself somewhere in the middle, but if I had to chose a side, probably closer to "pessimism".

I don't believe the world is out to hurt us nor love's us unconditionally. I believe the universe just doesn't care, which to me, is just as cruel and slightly scary. Unfortunately, I believe people who are suicidal feel and see reality more accurately than most typical people who are able to live a mostly "optimistic" lifestyle that distracts them from reality.