Discussion Do you bring out the best or worst in people?

[Forever Sleep]

A lot of the time, I'm so pessimistic that I think I bring out the worst in people. They might be glad that they can openly talk about their problems to begin with but, when there are so few flickers of hope, I think it sometimes ends up making them feel worse!

I'm stupidly sharped tongued on occassions and outspoken. As I'm getting older, I'm realising I don't like aggro so, I think I'm going to make more effort to stay off of contoversial subjects. I just find the coversations become mutually triggering.

On better days, I think I was positive to work around. People have said they learnt things. Just as I have learnt things being around others. It wasn't very consistent though. I tended to let stress get to me.

I really admire people who seem to invest in others and bring out the best in them. I tend to think that person has to be in a good and strong place themself to do that but, nevertheless- it must take a lot out of them.

How about you? I guess for many of us, it's a mix. How much of it is even conscious? I know I have reached points in conversations where I've thought- shit- I've made this person feel even worse. Better try and lighten the mood.

I've worked with people who put so much effort into trying to make sure everyone was ok though. They were so kind. I admire that so much and would like to be like that but I doubt I'd manage it consistently.

 

[ABadPerson]

I relate to you a lot as this is probably one of the main things I hate about myself, people that I was attached to have told me they felt so seen/heard by me but when I look at them objectively I can tell I leave people worse off than they originally began.

I can understand what people want to hear and I'm the type of individual who gets into whatever another is into but I'm quite bleak with a very pessimistic outlook on life and an autist, and with how outspoken I also am it sort of leaks through the conversations even if I don't mean it to.

With how attached I can get as well it just seems as though they 'feel better' around me but get progressively just as bad as I am mentally. I've tried to change in that regards, and pretended to be much more upbeat even but the cracks eventually start to show and it ends the same way anyways.

But with work, uni and such I think I affect people more positively as I only shown that other side to people I felt very close to anyways.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I don't have friends so I can't really speak to that, but I do seem to bring out the worst in girlfriends I've had. I've dealt with lots of disrespectful behavior. It's weird too because I've always tried to be as considerate as I reasonably can without sacrificing too much of myself, and giving them space and support when needed. In the moment I'd typically feel like I had a pretty good handle on how to be, but in retrospect I guess not.

I do tend to have positive conversations with all members of my family so I think in that sense I maybe bring out some good in them. I've mediated in some family disputes as well.

Beyond that I keep to myself and just do my own thing for the most part.

 

[nails]

i don't think i bring out anything in anyone, if that makes sense. i used to think that i ruined everyone and made them miserable, and i'm sure i've exhausted all my former friends to an extent, but i don't think i had a significant or lasting effect on anyone. i don't impact anyone i know or come into contact with.

 

[BoulderSoWhat]

I don't have any active relationships, friendships, acquaintances, nothing. Just my interactions at work, which I actively try to avoid and ensure nobody knows much of anything about me. Except when I say I just eat and sleep when I'm not at work. That's actually pretty true, but nobody gets to know why I'm a rock/robot hybrid.

If I ever form real life relationships again, it can only be with people outside of work and feel safe to tell everything. I don't have energy to hide my story or what I think.

So I guess if I were to bring something out of people, I guess it would in someway have to be some kind of reflection of myself? Not sure

 

[FoxSauce]

Uhhhh...tbh I dont even know

 

[Lady_V]

I bring out the worst in people. I tend to encourage bad behavior from others just because it's entertaining.

 

[Hime]

Funnily enough, I think I bring out the best in people... Usually.
As of late though I feel like my bottled up emotions and struggles have been leaking out, affecting the people I care about negatively. But relatively speaking, I still think I manage to be a positive element in their lives... And I really hope it stays like that...

 

[vitbar]

A mix. It also depends on where you stand. For example I like a bit of gossip, which is fine in my opinion, while some see it as terrible.

I strongly relate to bit about being argumentative, but trying and avoid it now. So triggering and usually pointless.

I mostly lean in the positive direction. My pessimism is only wielded against myself. I try to encourage and be supportive.

When my mood is bad I can turn inwards with my back to the world. I worry what impact this might have on people.

 

[lemonandcapers]

I don't think I bring out the best or worst in people. People act how they usually would around me, as far as I'm aware.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I guess it depends on my mood and their moods combining but I definitely get targeted for petty spite and competition more than others. I don't really spend much time with other humans anymore though so it's hard to know. In the past they either dismissed me as irrelevant or would try to use me to make themselves feel more important or successful. I am saying that with full awareness of my own insecurities. It wasn't just me, it was them. They had something bad inside that they didn't let out but with me they let it out.

 

[TooMuch.]

Both?

 

[dying_kwik2000]

I know I bring the worst out of the few people that are around me. It just makes me want to die. I feel like I am neurotic to a fault, absolutely and completely inconsolable, full of grief, irritation, confusion and more.

I'm like a melting pot of the worst kind of feelings. When something good happens or a solution is found to a problem, I go back to my default setting. It's like nothing can make me happy for more than five minutes.

I aggravate those around me and panic like nobody's business. I'm always mopey despite being on medication and I see the worst in everything.

I wasn't always like this. There was a time I was really stable and lucid and neutral. But I guess that was just a fluke.

 

[bunnƴ]

I don't exist to anyone

 

[Binderz]

This is an interesting question. I honestly don't know. But I'd like to think I bring out the best in people because of my empathy. I'm always thinking about what it's like to walk in somebody else's moccasins.

 

[Pluto]