Do you blame your parents?

[EndlessDream]

Yeah lots of abuse and PTSD

 

[federerfan97]

Really depends on the season for me. I know they tried their best but there's a lot of things they didn't get right. From an educational and financial perspective, they really did an amazing job. From a "getting me"/putting a lot of values in my head that I feel like prevent me from finding someone... they did a pretty shit job.

 

[jessisme]

Not at all. I don't think they could've anticipated how awful I would've turned out and they almost certainly would've aborted me if they knew what a failure I'd be.

I feel the same way.

 

[rationaltake]

I am a parent. When my son was born I had never heard of BPD, I wasn't depressed and I had never had an anxiety attack in my life. What I did have was a childhood, in which my ' dad' abused me until I was 11. My stepfather showed me a parent can love their child, unconditionally. When I got pregnant at 17, I decided to keep my child, and give him all the love I had received from him and my mother. I got sick at 22, at 24 I was diagnosed with the things mentioned above.

You telling me, that I put my child, who I love above anything else, i even now he's a man of 29 in a world full of misery because I'm selfish fucking hurts! Lots of parents really love their kids, do you really think they put them on this world to suffer?

And before I get shit about ' a mod should not react in that way ' fuck it!

It's never right to generalise and nobody should be disrespected purely for being a parent.

I wish all of us could be as understanding as you are.

 

[BrailleTogepi]

I can't blame my parents. They're both brainwashed members of a cultish church just doing what their church was telling them to do -- have children. I also don't blame them for not being able to meet my emotional needs at any point in my life, because again, the church never gave them the headspace they would have needed in order to grow emotionally. So no, I don't blame them, I blame the church.

 

[Death is my goal]

partially

 

[nifii]

I used to. Now i've kinda accepted that its just my life and it couldn't be different.

 

[Murasa]

I really have mixed feelings... My family situation was a bit awkward to say the least and so my relationship with them. For most of my life they have tried to justify my existence, putting me under a lot of pressure in the process, many times I feel like a circus animal that they can try to take advantage of, I don't know if they were aware of it at the time, but now they are, after our relationship hit rock bottom everything was for the better in that sense, most of what they do about me is because they are worried and want the best for me. It doesn't help too much but I definitely can't hate them either after genuinely trying to make up for it.

 

[HadItAll]

Everything depends on genetics.

 

[Kazeeemoo12]

I have so much built up rage. It was their job to teach me, take care of me and help me grow. But instead they ignore my needs and have crippled me.

 

[Helios-III]

My dad is a narcissist, and the older I get, the more my childhood makes me sad and I wish I had better guidance. I don't know if that was the main cause of my anxieties, but it definitely contributed a lot. I don't fully blame him, but he gets the lion's share. :(

 

[Dominicka]

F yeah

 

[disabledlife]

I hate my parents and my country, which has created pro-family and pro-natalist legislation, with allowances for having children, especially for large families, which have a lot of state aid, a "large family" card with huge discounts for trains, some shops, some supermarkets, etc!

I was born disabled, abused, experienced bullying at school and from an entire city during my childhood and part of my adult life...

I'm rejected, hated, a burden to others, autistic,...I never had justice against my parents. My country is the country of the parents-kings! I got kicked out of my shitty High IQ association (see my other posts and threads) for complaining about my life too often! Thank you SaSu members for supporting me when I was totally alone and lynched by my association High IQ, thank you for existing, and for making cde forum exist, to allow the ultimate freedom of expression and the possibility of to be able to leave life as one wishes!

I created lots of threads and posts in SaSu to tell my story.

 

[Thisisme373]

yes, my dad is a narcissist, mother is an enabler. Both neglected me & dad was emotionally abusive, always putting me down, my family is very toxic, my mom makes excuses for them all, is in denial, I'm the scapegoat in a narcissistic family basically. So yes they have big part to play in why I'm a depressed anxious suicidal mess but it's also down to toxic family and poor choices I've made in life. My dad has been an awful father to me, my mom is not horrible but she is in such denial that it's actually incredibly annoying as I can point out so much toxic stuff and she just makes tons of excuses. I can see she knows it deep down but will do anything to not face the truth. I'm fucked being in this family.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Kinda. I don't want to, but the sense of not being connected to anything and of rejection are so strong.

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

It would be best not to be born, unfortunately, no one is given this

 

[SpiderLink]

For giving you life. I have terribly mixed feelings about this. I dont know if its their fault. But I wouldnt have to suffer if two people did not want children.

It's fair. But for me, I can't blame anyone. I just don't want to shame anyone when I'm gone. My pain is enough, I don't need someone to feel regret and guilt.

 

[sulli]

i should never have been born, i'm the result of irresponsibility and chronic drug use by two people who both abandoned me within months of my birth to be raised by people who abused and traumatized me until they both died when i was 19 or so. i blame the first set of parents for bringing me into existence, especially in the place where i live where there's no hope of making things better. i blame the second set for giving me the trauma and mental illness that fucked me up permanently and led to me ruining my every chance in life. i take responsibility for my part in destroying myself because ultimately i made my own choices, but nothing i do escapes the influence of my trauma. it colors my whole life, informs my every decision, it's the fulcrum around which my entire being is shaped. it's not 100% their fault but i can't help but think if i'd grown up in better circumstances i might have stood a chance.

 

[gardenofaphrodite]

I blame my mother for so much of the shit I have dealt with & she's caused. She's genuinely an awful, manipulative, narcissistic piece of shit. She denied me ever knowing my father or his side of the family, I have lost so many opportunities because of her. I have lost education opportunities because of her, I've lost so much. She's fucking terrible & I hate her.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I do and I don't. It's a little complicated. I don't because I know that I was an accident. I know that my present parent suffered because of me and I essentially ruined the trajectory of her life. I also know that although she wasn't the best parent all the time, she did try her best and gave me a stable childhood where most of my needs were met. But I do blame her, sometimes, because the most important needs that I had were not met because of how unplanned and unwanted I was. I wouldn't have cared if I ate or missed out on having a video game console if I felt cared for, seen or heard. She relied on alcohol to get through the day and now, I do the same. She told me that she went to get me aborted but ended up feeling guilty after sitting in the office for a while. I blame her for that. I wish, sometimes, that she would have gone through with it for both of our sakes. But she was very young so she was just dealing with the cards she was dealt. Eh. Don't know how to feel about the other one, he hasn't been around. Neither of them contributed very greatly to how I feel towards life now, but I do wish they weren't so irresponsibly horny because I wouldn't be going through anything at all if it were not for that one simple fact.

 

[DazaiKinnie]

For giving you life. I have terribly mixed feelings about this. I dont know if its their fault. But I wouldnt have to suffer if two people did not want children.

Well, yes, techincally we suffer because we were given birth in the first place, wanting kids is always selfish(or at least I can't think of a reason that isn't), you put a human being on this earth on this earth to just suffer that they want to die(which is preferable to me at least). So in most part our parents are responsible that they gave us birth and that we can suffer on earth.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

My father, yes.

Growing up, he always bragged to me that he forced my mother not to abort me. As if that would make me love him more, when really it just made me hate him.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't love them because they brought me here (regardless of their intentions).

It would only go as far as that but they brought me and resented me for having a disability and fell short in some key ways so I am deeply embittered against them.

 

[awaitinglove]

yes and no.
my mom was 17 when she was pregnant with me. the thing is my mom was sexually assaulted and got pregnant with me. shit at 17 i could barely take care of myself so i can't imagine how hard that was for her to make the decision to keep me. this doesn't take away how emotionally and physically neglectful she was towards me though.
although i feel for my mom and know that she went through hell, i believe i'm still allowed to blame her for making most of my life a living hell. she has changed these past few years but i haven't fully forgiven her.

 

[TapeMachine]

I don't blame them. Sure, they undoubtedly contributed to my emotional maladaptations along the way; but I now understand that they were just ill-equipped to raise mentally-robust children when they themselves were never so.

I'm glad they had me anyway; and I know they did the best they could.

But I'm exhausted by now, and I'm not sure how much more of my wavering emotions I'll be able to endure.

 

[kernel_panic]

Yes. They brought two sentient beings into this world full of corruption and suffering, and then proceeded not to give a fuck about them or their proper development. In my case, this resulted in an incredibly boring life, as well as mental and physical health issues.

Seeing the direction this world is heading in, I don't even consider recovery to be an option.

 

[Candle in the wind]

Я ненавижу обоих. За то, что не предохранялись, чертовы презервативы. И за отношение, которое разрушило мою жизнь и привело к тревоге и депрессии. Только когда я стал взрослым, я понял, откуда взялась моя ненависть к людям: я ненавижу самых близких людей

 

[Darkover]

it's like this if you born an animal one that was hunted for by prey would you really thank for this life i know i wouldent
likewise if you born a human being and had to live alife without anyone ever caring for you would you really thank for this life
i know i wouldent, it would be better to of never existed in the first place so yeah i do blame my parents for bring me into this shitty horrible lifetime

 

[novem]

most parents are not ready to give life when they do
but that is similar to the loan they ask for a house that they are planning to pay off in future
if they wait for too long it might be too late to be able to take care for their offsprings
so you get your own fate
it is what it is...........

natural selection and mr Darwin, hmmm

it is not the parents to blame it is the restrictions to end something that you don't want to sustain

 

[charlotte_]

Always do. They are the reason why I had a fuck ton of unresolved childhood trauma, the reason why I develop depression, bpd, anger issues trust issues and a lot of other shit. I can never feel accepted or comfortable in my own home because of them. I could be having the most horrible breakdown ever but all they care about is that im "ungrateful" and the culprit is always the phone or the games. It has been this way ever since I were young and till now. I do feel guilty for always being such a bitch with them, but still, truth is that they caused this. Parents, please don't give birth if you can't guarantee your child a decent life thanks.