Do you also wanna die because something unfortunate happened to you

[user938838383335]

My friend dumped me saying that she led me on for ten months etc etc and I really cared about her and she made my life, now it's all gone and I'm completely hopeless. This is extreme bad luck

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess so- but it happened a very long time ago. Had my Mum not died when I was 3 and, had I not started considering suicide aged 10 out of the desperation of wanting to escape living with a (suspected) narcissist, maybe things would be different now.

I latched on to a coping mechanism at that stage, which has done a sterling job of carrying me through to this point. However, it also gave me something to more legitimately lose myself in to the exclusion of pretty much all else. So, it's a pretty maladjusted way of living. It's hard to know how I would have turned out without all that but I'd hazard a guess I would be happier.

I'm sorry that your friend manipulated you like that. That's really cruel.

 

[............]

All the time.

Well, I suppose there sadly is not much you can do about that. However it isn't on you, it's on her. She is the unfair and cruel one here, so don't be sad thinking it was you. Be disappointed in her. Allow yourself to feel unfortunate about it, because it is.

 

[bankai]

Unfortunately, you can't really invest so much in other people. Time and energy is a major investment, just like money. And if you put so much into other people, if they decide to leave you, then you'll be devastated. It's OK to be really good friends, but don't subject yourself to limerence.That's what leads to this intense heartbreak.

In future, please be more careful while making friends. I've seen you make several threads about this before.I'm sorry for your suffering though.

 

[quietwoods]

Not trying to be snarky, but I feel everyone is here because something unfortunate happened to them.

 

[usernamesarehard]

I guess? I mean the reason I'm back on this site is because my boyfriend left me. He's really the only guy I want and the only person I want to start a family with.

Ignoring that, I guess I'd argue the unfortunate thing that happened to me was being born. And ctb just rectifies that problem.

Unfortunately, you can't really invest so much in other people. Time and energy is a major investment, just like money. And if you put so much into other people, if they decide to leave you, then you'll be devastated. It's OK to be really good friends, but don't subject yourself to limerence.That's what leads to this intense heartbreak.

In future, please be more careful while making friends. I've seen you make several threads about this before.I'm sorry for your suffering though.

Yeah, I'm learning that the hard way. Limerence sucks, but I've found getting away from the person does wonders. For me at least, I'm able to see that I never really loved that person. I just loved that they liked me and loved a fantasy I created in my head.

God, I hope getting over a break up is just as easy.

 

[bankai]

Yeah, I'm learning that the hard way. Limerence sucks, but I've found getting away from the person does wonders. For me at least, I'm able to see that I never really loved that person. I just loved that they liked me and loved a fantasy I created in my head.

God, I hope getting over a break up is just as easy.

Exactly. The problem is the fantasy that we've created in our head. No one really lives up to that. It's pretty much all made-up. But the problem is that make believe is so fantastic. We've decided in our head that nothing can live up to that.And now we believe that no one else can live up to that person either. So we feel that we are screwed and things will never get better now that they left.

The only way to come out of these situations is to completely cut that person out, block them, delete all their photographs, media,fb,etc.Slowly it will get better, but it's never a good idea to let ourselves fall into this kind of situation in the first place.