Do you all like/love yourself?

[brokeandbroken]

Pretty much the title... Just curious because as much as I hate the vast majority of humanity.... I think I hate myself more...

 

[Notbadenough]

I also hate myself, can't explain why, I think i don't deserve to live...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think hate is a pretty strong word, but I can say for certain that I definitely don't love myself.

 

[socrates]

I hate myself with a burning passion. When I get really mad at myself I scream at myself and foam at the mouth lol. I deserve to die I know it

 

[Takamagahara]

Perhaps contrary to most other answers, I actually do like myself. Maybe it's a coping mechanism; if I don't feel egotistical about myself, I end up falling into despair.

Safe to say that no one else likes me though.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I also hate myself, can't explain why, I think i don't deserve to live...

I don't think I've ever felt I don't deserve to live, not want to absolutely.... I guess you can say I've definitely felt like people would prefer me to not be alive. They want all the good feelings of keeping me alive then if I decided to off myself they can storm in with crocodile tears. Feels a lot like suffer in silence, out of my presence but be sure to do it out of my presence because I don't even want to see it. It's not the fact you are suffering that bothers me but the fact I have to do see you suffer, so can you leave?

Unless you are amongst the Putin's of the world that's a horrendous thing to think.

I think hate is a pretty strong word, but I can say for certain that I definitely don't love myself.

I didn't love myself on the precipice of success but I had enough self esteem where I didn't hate myself... Then it was stolen from me, quite literally. Nobody was there to help me. It's an absolutely horrendous feeling to have no one care about you. It's also fairly abnormal. So yeah I hate myself.

I hate myself with a burning passion. When I get really mad at myself I scream at myself and foam at the mouth lol. I deserve to die I know it

I don't think you deserve to die. That's a horrendous thing to think.

Perhaps contrary to most other answers, I actually do like myself. Maybe it's a coping mechanism; if I don't feel egotistical about myself, I end up falling into despair.

Safe to say that no one else likes me though.

Huh interesting. I wish I felt that way. To be honest I am in constant despair I am just good at acting like things are fine. There's a pretty strong sentiment from the world if you show like you aren't, things won't be good for you.

 

[Takamagahara]

Huh interesting. I wish I felt that way.

Honestly, I don't know if I can recommend it. Forgive my blatant arrogance (again this might just be a coping mechanism to me) but that whole bit about intelligence being isolating is totally true. Mostly it's just lonely.

I like being me. I like the way I think. I like the way I view things. I would rather be me than someone else.

But nobody else does. So what am I lead to believe? That there's no place for me here? Would it be better for me if I could blame myself for being a shitty person instead of liking myself? I dunno.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's an absolutely horrendous feeling to have no one care about you. It's also fairly abnormal.

I have this, too. After my mom died about 2 1/2 years ago, there was absolutely no one left who cared about me in this world. Actually, there's no one left in my family at all. Never made any friendships that lasted. It is abnormal. I mean for 55 years of my life, I always knew there was someone who absolutely loved me without a doubt. Then, in the blink of an eye, there is no one. It's surreal really.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

I hate this awful world more

 

[brokeandbroken]

Honestly, I don't know if I can recommend it. Forgive my blatant arrogance (again this might just be a coping mechanism to me) but that whole bit about intelligence being isolating is totally true. Mostly it's just lonely.

I like being me. I like the way I think. I like the way I view things. I would rather be me than someone else.

But nobody else does. So what am I lead to believe? That there's no place for me here? Would it be better for me if I could blame myself for being a shitty person instead of liking myself? I dunno.

Oh I fully agree... I wouldn't say I dislike the way I think. That said I am trapped. I am not smart enough for society to go we need to help him because he's intelligent quite the contrary. I am the level of intelligence where people go well he's smart he'll be fine doing it by himself. I am also not dumb/naive enough where I don't understand my fate and I understand how unbelievably shitty my life is, and worse yet how it is going to be. I also am not socially skilled so I have literally 0 friends. So I am incredibly lonely. In other words I am smart but not smart enough and I am dumb but not dumb enough. I am in the anti-goldilocks zone.

I have this, too. After my mom died about 2 1/2 years ago, there was absolutely no one left who cared about me in this world. Actually, there's no one left in my familt at all. Never made any friendships that lasted. It is abnormal. I mean for 55 years of my life, I always knew there was someone who absolutely loved me without a doubt. Then, in the blink of an eye, there is no one. It's surreal really.

I am very sorry to here about her passing. I know how that is.. As that has been virtually my whole life. I think worse yet is people who blow smoke up your ass that they care... But if it comes down to showing it... Well they are non-existent...

I hate this awful world more

That's a fair assessment.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think worse yet is people who blow smoke up your ass that they care

I don't know if I really ever had to deal with that one. I know my family all cared about me. But, when they die off one by one over a short amount of time, all the caring just ends. It's no one's fault. It's just a bunch of bad circumstance.

 

[FadingSunshine]

I'm neutral about myself, I just remind myself I'm disposable and try to be the best person I can be.

 

[vegasguy7022]

I love myself and my life family and friends. I'm just always in physical stomach pain from a poison I accidentally did last year. Very unfortunate. But unable to be maintained.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I don't know if I really ever had to deal with that one. I know my family all cared about me. But, when they die off one by one over a short amount of time, all the caring just ends. It's no one's fault. It's just a bunch of bad circumstance.

I'm terribly sorry that sounds awful and heart breaking as well as extradinoary hard to process.

I'm neutral about myself, I just remind myself I'm disposable and try to be the best person I can be.

Hmm interesting perspective. Why do you think you are disposable?

I love myself and my life family and friends. I'm just always in physical stomach pain from a poison I accidentally did last year. Very unfortunate. But unable to be maintained.

Well I am glad you have love for yourself, your family, and your friends. Like a gastric ulcer?

 

[that_guy2611]

Hate myself with a passion.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hate myself with a passion.

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

I do have a deep hatred of myself. It's mostly due to all the bad choices I've made in my life. I try to justify them with the trauma of being abused and manipulated by my mother but still, I can't seem to be able to love myself.

 

[bored2death]

my depression changed over time. when i was younger, i hated myself. i wanted to die because i didnt think i was worth anything, and i wanted to spare the rest of the world from experiencing me. i also wanted to end my own pain and suffering.

i'm much older now, and i no longer hate myself. i accept myself, and probably even love who i am. i am, however, still depressed. i want to die because i'm bored. i've done a lot of great things, and lived what many would consider a fortunate life. faced with setbacks that necessitate another reset, i find myself bored to death at the thought. i can strive and learn and change and adapt and accomplish once more, but the novelty wore off.

i'm very grateful for this forum. i've been looking at SN and found many of the threads helpful and informative. i get extremely sad reading them, and when thinking about when i will CTB. i think that is a healthy reaction. things could have gone differently; e.g., fear shouldn't have won over vulnerability. in any case, starting over is too exhausting now. i don't have the energy and i'd hate to do a poor job of things.

 

[Final_Choice]

Pretty neutral with myself, don't love myself completely but like myself enough to want to be merciful and desire peace for myself.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I do have a deep hatred of myself. It's mostly due to all the bad choices I've made in my life. I try to justify them with the trauma of being abused and manipulated by my mother but still, I can't seem to be able to love myself.

I would put it like this you should love yourself and not your choices. If you are recovering/recovered then love yourself for the choices you are currently making. It's a new you.

my depression changed over time. when i was younger, i hated myself. i wanted to die because i didnt think i was worth anything, and i wanted to spare the rest of the world from experiencing me. i also wanted to end my own pain and suffering.

i'm much older now, and i no longer hate myself. i accept myself, and probably even love who i am. i am, however, still depressed. i want to die because i'm bored. i've done a lot of great things, and lived what many would consider a fortunate life. faced with setbacks that necessitate another reset, i find myself bored to death at the thought. i can strive and learn and change and adapt and accomplish once more, but the novelty wore off.

i'm very grateful for this forum. i've been looking at SN and found many of the threads helpful and informative. i get extremely sad reading them, and when thinking about when i will CTB. i think that is a healthy reaction. things could have gone differently; e.g., fear shouldn't have won over vulnerability. in any case, starting over is too exhausting now. i don't have the energy and i'd hate to do a poor job of things.

I understand that completely. I'm not sure I ever loved myself, still don't. I was maybe proud at points. For instance being in medical school. Having that ripped/stolen from me through no fault of my own and having no one come to my aid. Broke my heart. I've tried to do good things, be a good person, and it's led to me being homeless, in extraordinary debt, no friends, etc... All in all I dont even know what part of me I hate most. I'm also not sure if I were to CTB if it were to be to spare society from me or me from them. Clearly we don't mesh. I'm an outcast, pariah, etc...

Pretty neutral with myself, don't love myself completely but like myself enough to want to be merciful and desire peace for myself.

That's well thought out thank you.

 

[whywere]

Well for me, I must be the oddball here, I overall love myself. I have had cancer, now 24/7 chronic pain. Like everyone. I have had my ups, downs and arounds and I really like helping others smile, feel better about themselves and/or their situations.

I have massive depression, so I have to pick myself up each and every day not only for work, but I want to help others so much and I need to love myself at least to some degree to get in the right frame of mind to help.

Walter

 

[brokeandbroken]

Well for me, I must be the oddball here, I overall love myself. I have had cancer, now 24/7 chronic pain. Like everyone. I have had my ups, downs and arounds and I really like helping others smile, feel better about themselves and/or their situations.

I have massive depression, so I have to pick myself up each and every day not only for work, but I want to help others so much and I need to love myself at least to some degree to get in the right frame of mind to help.

Walter

I'm taking the "had" to mean you beat cancer. That makes you a survivor! That said I'm tremendously sorry about your chronic pain. Is it from chemotherapy?

You sound like a very nice person trying to make people feel better while feeling down yourself. Lastly, it makes me happy that you yourself. You seem like you genuinely make the world a better place.

 

[purplemichelle]

Even when I have a moment of recognizing my strengths or talents I still feel a deep sense of self-hatred. Like all the good things about me could just never outweigh the bad.

I'll be like "yea I'm such a kind, fun, smart person, but I'm also the heaviest burden weighing down every person who cares about me"

Does anyone else get like that?

 

[brokeandbroken]

Even when I have a moment of recognizing my strengths or talents I still feel a deep sense of self-hatred. Like all the good things about me could just never outweigh the bad.

I'll be like "yea I'm such a kind, fun, smart person, but I'm also the heaviest burden weighing down every person who cares about me"

Does anyone else get like that?

I understand it cognitively. Though for me I feel more rejected then a burden. Not that I don't. I am. But I feel rejected far more so.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't really love or hate myself. Or, maybe I do both in equal measure perhaps. Depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes, I'm more forgiving towards myself than others. I try to be kind to people but I certainly have regrets when I haven't been.

Still- I suppose achievement in my field used to be my main goal. It just doesn't seem to bother me as much that I've failed in many ways. I don't think my future is important- I'm hoping it won't even be there soon- which takes the pressure off of succeeding now. I think I'm feeling as much anhedonia towards myself as I am everything else!

 

[whywere]

I'm taking the "had" to mean you beat cancer. That makes you a survivor! That said I'm tremendously sorry about your chronic pain. Is it from chemotherapy?

You sound like a very nice person trying to make people feel better while feeling down yourself. Lastly, it makes me happy that you yourself. You seem like you genuinely make the world a better place.

Thank you so much for the very nice message. I found out that I had gall bladder cancer in March 2014. They took out my gall bladder the same day and then chemo aspects came into play. I was informed that I was cancer free in March 2015.

NOW, in April 2015, I was driving South on a highway and another person was driving East. He came to the stop sign and blew through it without even slowing down. I t-boned him at around 50mph. This was on a Friday evening around 7:30pm and I woke up in ICU on Saturday afternoon. My injuries were, a broken sternum, part of my spinal column was torn from the back base of my brain. The technology is not there yet to be able to fix it to any degree.

Now I have 24/7 chronic pain, and I am losing mobility in my right side. The crash also tore the nerves that connect my right ear drum into my brain, and I am permanently deaf in my right ear.

Th kicker of it all is the person that blew through the stop sign did not get a scratch at all.

You are such a kind, caring and thoughtful soul, and I am so happy and fortunate to have you as a good friend here, thank you for that.

Lots of sunny blue skies and hugs to you,

Walter

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I have no reason to not like myself or to hate my self. I also don't hate humanity and the world. I might not agree with everything but that's how it is.

 

[sadpeach]

I definitely don't like myself, but I've come to the conclusion that I'll never make it in this world. I should be happy, but I'm miserable. I have a lot of decent things going for myself besides my mental illnesses. I hate myself because nothing is enough to keep me here.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i just considered myself a regular guy. i had no idea how much torment there is with mental issues and nobody will know to be honest unless they've been there. you send people to school to treat this but how can they treat things they do not understand? you cannot help after reading some textbooks.. so then they just prescribe costly drugs that may make you worse..

well that's why they want you alive. to sell you meds and whatever it takes ti keep you in your prison.

 

[Borderline]

If I liked or loved myself I wouldn't want to kill myself.