Do suicidal people have the most compassion for suicidal people?

[noname223]

I am not sure. I think there are also many suicidal people who don't show empathy in general. Being suicidal does not necessarily make you a saint. But I think due to the fact that being suicidal is something very unique and existential it easier to relate how it is to be in the other persons shoes if you are affected yourself.

I think being suicidal can make you more aware for the suffering in the world. It can make you more empathetic. Being vulnerable can make more aware of the vulnerality of other people. On the other hand you could also turn more numb to other people suffering. Due to the thought I am feeling shitty myself I can't consider other persons feelings. My first priority is my own suffering.

What do you think?

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I think being suicidal can make you more aware for the suffering in the world. It can make you more empathetic. Being vulnerable can make more aware of the vulnerality of other people. On the other hand you could also turn more numb to other people suffering. Due to the thought I am feeling shitty myself I can't consider other persons feelings.

I think you laid it out perfectly here. Every time my depression gets bad and I go through an episode, I come out the other side more numb and selfish. I don't like it, but I only have so much energy.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

I find when im sad or going through a tough mental time i become more empathetic and softer.

 

[jackodonnell]

To be honest I think it depends on the person. People were sympathetic towards me at first when they saw me as a victim. Then when I began doing bad stuff, hurting people, and ruining my own life, nobody tries to talk me out of suicide any more. Even my closest friend could only come up with "you have a nice body" as a reason for me to stay alive. There are people on here I really feel for, but there are also people I feel could have led a happy life and chose the wrong path. I won't judge anyone as I've done so much evil in the world, but I think every suicidal person is deserving of some empathy regardless of their reasons.
I personally believe life is extremely hard. Suicidal people are people who have either had painful circumstances thrust upon them, or who have failed at living the life they wanted through bad decisions or incompetence or not knowing the right thing to do. Everyone on here has my empathy and I would gladly help anyone here who needs a bit of support.

 

[Seiba]

People vary wildly. Suicidal people that recover and become apart of religious or spiritual delusions don't want people to make the same choice as they tried to. Likewise, those who attempted and failed have gone on to tell others that it gets better and otherwise support stripping the freedom when possible from the suicidal. People on this forum have also fought a bit back and forth about things, with some banned.

As for the idea that suffering makes people empathetic, I am skeptical. Many use their sufferings to justify inflicting more on others, or to otherwise dismiss their circumstances. Parents who were abused, started working as a child, and so on can go on to justify that they turned out fine and their children have nothing to complain about. Those who fought against their own poverty in youth can become against the same people similar to them as they age with newly gained wealth.

Many presentations of suicidality are also different -- many are short term. Those who only attempt to end their life once and regret it with immediacy aren't likely to understand people who have attempted or had test runs with no real regret nor wanting to leave for years. There's also a reality where when you're overwhelmed in one way, be it boredom or emotional pain your interest outwardly in others is decreased. Check any thread asking others about their experiences, and you will see many talking about themselves with no real commentary on other's plight.
This is not a condemnation of that -- just to be clear. There's no pretty words to say to someone other than sorry a good portion of the time and we naturally experience life through our own lens.

Add in the nature of a close relationship, having children, or otherwise any close human relationship and interest can be biased very quickly. Husband or wives may be willing to kill themselves, but would hate their children or partners doing the same. This is forum is generally niche in respecting in the choice of others -- it's hard to say how many people in the real world would support people leaving considering the circumstances of hospitalizing and other ways of the suicidal being coerced by others is hardly challenged in society. Perhaps you can be empathetic without supporting someone's choice, but I'm not sure. Insisting on valuing your agency and biases over the will of another is hardly empathetic.

 

[Al Cappella]

Not really, just judging by what is written here. To be fair, some do of course. And most of course support the right to leave, but there are plenty of bitter, nasty types that are best avoided. Like everywhere else…

 

[WorthlessTrash]

More so than the "normies" :S

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it just depends on the individual and the situation. I do think that in general, other suicidal people are likely to have more understanding of what the person is going through than non suicidal people. Many non suicidal people live under a delusion that life is always worth living and that suicide is always irrational, when in reality it can be perfectly rational wanting suicide in a world like this.

But however, people are suicidal for different reasons, so people may not be able to fully understand what others are going through as we all have different limits as to what we can cope with, things that may seem insignificant to one person, could be a big deal to another.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Depends

Are we talking Jeffrey Epstein or Marilyn Monroe type suicides

 

[demuic]

Some do, a lot don't. If someone is not already an empathetic person or at least capable of it then being suicidal won't change that.

You can see that with the types that think their own reasons are perfectly valid, but will decry someone else for having a reason they see as "stupid, pathetic, childish," etc, yet would feel the most offense if someone else told them to suck it up and get over their own issues.

Parents who were abused, started working as a child, and so on can go on to justify that they turned out fine and their children have nothing to complain about. Those who fought against their own poverty in youth can become against the same people similar to them as they age with newly gained wealth.

It's exactly like this. If there's one thing you can count on in this world it's the unlimited potential for hypocrisy.

 

[Cryptonite]

I think suffering in general makes people more mellow and open-minded.

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I don't know. Truthfully I thinking being this suicidal is making me self absorbed. I do think I less judgmental than most people though. I am not sure if that's related to my suicidality.

 

[milly]

I think suffering in general makes people more mellow and open-minded.

i like your nose

 

[Weebster]

For some. I think a lot of people kill themselves over trivial reasons.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I think suffering in general makes people more mellow and open-minded.

It's possible to meet a certain kind of person that has been beat down so bad they just accept things for what they are. These are often the best people in life

The worst kind of people in life I've come to see are probably what you would call the human achievers/perfectionist . I used to think that's what we should aspire to but that's all obviously propaganda to me now

 

[Cryptonite]

It's possible to meet a certain kind of person that has been beat down so bad they just accept things for what they are. These are often the best people in life

The worst kind of people in life I've come to see are probably what you would call the human achievers/perfectionist . I used to think that's what we should aspire to but that's all obviously propaganda to me now

You can just say narcissists

 

[TheBroken]

I relate and completely support/sympathize with all those who have, often for many years, yearned to CTB. I get it and know many others just don't understand.

 

[Cryptonite]

i like your nose

Many thanks for your compliment indeed

 

[BasqueClown]

Not exactly. That awful people who is a murderer and after that kill themselves to avoid jail time, it's the exact opposite of compassion.
In another part, I only talk to myself. I don't get shocked, or claim tragedy if anyone dies by suicide. Since I know what's feeling totally hopeless, I understand the suffering. And since I don't want that people judged my own suicide as an impulsive or selfish act, I have compassion for anyone.
In fact, in my own fictional universe of stories (If some day I'll finish any pages of that literature project), suicide isn't consider a sinful act, just a personal decision and the people recieved all funeral rites as any who died by another cause.

 

[Lost Magic]

Absolutely. Suicidal people are in a similar frame of mind to other suicidal people. It's harder for people who don't have these feelings to relate to others who do. Most so called 'pro lifers' just think that we should be saved, phone those hotlines and seek therapy. What if you have done all those things and you still want to die? They have no good answers do they, but we know better.

 

[Rational man]

You.make.an interesting point of view. I do believe that pain.and suffering is understood more by people who suffer.

 

[ConstantPain]

This is an interesting question and I do agree that it does depend a lot on the person. I do think there is perhaps a higher probability that people who have felt suicidal are more empathetic than those who haven't. When I was a case manager I think it helped in that I understood people are people and no one is immune from problems. Often it's those who look like they've got everything together who struggle with mental health, alcohol or substance use. Seems the key is that all important word "hope".
I'll never be one of those survivors who finds God or tells people everything will get better. About the most genuine thing I can say is you just never know. Even though I'm back to being suicidal I would say I'm glad I got to have a positive impact on other people's lives, got to travel and see things I never thought I would, glad I was here to save feral kittens, and have accumulated quite the fun vintage clothing collection. Whatever works and brings you even an ounce of happiness!

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

My compassion is practically unconditional (unless I'm slighted by someone), but I tend to strongly hold more compassion for suicidals and the unfortunate than I do with normies, especially if they have no outlet.

 

[Smart No More]

We're better equipped to empathise and we generally do understand and we have that genuine common ground. It's just that many of us may nwver have been inclined to empathise under any circumstances. Those of us inclined af as much ability as you can possibly have to empathise with others in the situation but it does mean we will.


So yeah, I agree with OP. Not sure if I even added anything in my take tbh. It's kind of complex in it's simplicity. If that.

 

[ConstantPain]

My compassion is practically unconditional (unless I'm slighted by someone), but I tend to strongly hold more compassion for suicidals and the unfortunate than I do with normies, especially if they have no outlet.

Me too! And the reality is virtually anyone can become homeless and sadly, the number of people having to experience that trauma is increasing.

 

[brokenbutterflies]

I am not sure. I think there are also many suicidal people who don't show empathy in general. Being suicidal does not necessarily make you a saint. But I think due to the fact that being suicidal is something very unique and existential it easier to relate how it is to be in the other persons shoes if you are affected yourself.

I think being suicidal can make you more aware for the suffering in the world. It can make you more empathetic. Being vulnerable can make more aware of the vulnerality of other people. On the other hand you could also turn more numb to other people suffering. Due to the thought I am feeling shitty myself I can't consider other persons feelings. My first priority is my own suffering.

What do you think?

It's interesting because I'd never really truly thought about it until right now, as I'm writing this comment. In my case personally, it truly depends on the "type" of suicidal I'm feeling.

Sometimes I'm so depressed all I can see is the ugliness in the world and in those moments, I feel almost too empathetic, like I'm feeling all the pain of others at once. I cry over every sad news story, sad video, if I think too much about what other people are going through I feel heartbroken. In those moments I'm softer than usual (and I'd consider myself a pretty empathetic person in general), I'm more loving to those who I can see also struggling because as you said, you can become more aware of other peoples vulnerability.

But when I'm suicidal in a way that I feel completely empty and numb, or angry at everyone and everything, I'm colder than I usually am. I feel enraged that some people have such great lives, and that jealousy makes me meaner and in those moments I can be horrible to others because I just can't see past the bitterness. Similar to what you've said, I become so wrapped up in my own suffering that I can't see anyone else's and I know I'm not a good friend or a good person to be around in general because I'm so negative it becomes toxic.

I guess this is a longwinded way of saying I think it depends on the person and the mood.