Discussion Do people respond with anger when you open up about your feelings?

[dogemn]

The standard advice for when you're struggling with suicidal thoughts is to "reach out" or "talk to someone". But what if you don't have any friends and the only people around are family who respond with anger when you try? Whenever I tell my mom, dad, or sister that I'm feeling depressed or suicidal they get angry with me instead of supporting me and it only makes me feel worse. I wish I had a friend I could turn to, but I don't, and where I live there isn't even a suicide hotline I can call.

 

[ChocoPie]

Yea man that sounds tough. It is such a taboo topic in my home too, my mom once got fed up with me and just told me to go die, it is fine though- she might have just said it in the heat of moment but that tells me I can't trust them with this topic, that's why I never got any mental heath support, I feel like it doesn't my matter anymore.

But u can talk to ppl here, I might not be able to give u any professional advice but I can listen to u like a friend.

Hopefully u get the help u need.

 

[kagebunshin]

I can unfortunately relate. I'm 30 now but when I was a teen living at home, my mental struggles were always met with anger and retribution from my father. It taught me early on never to open up or express my issues, especially around self-harm and suicide.

 

[bloominghopelessne]

When my suicidal behavior was noticed at school, my mother beat me and yelled at me every time, saying that I don't appreciate what I have and that in the end I can do whatever I want. Friends didn't take me seriously, mostly mocking me. Now my friends support me, but our communication is only online, and it mostly comes down to phrases like "don't be sad" or "look at all the good in the world." My mother still thinks I am spoiled, even though our lives have had so many hardships; how can I be spoiled if I had almost nothing? My partner shows support like no one else, but it cannot be constant, and it stresses him. He doesn't understand what it means to want to die, and every conversation ends in conflict, even though I'm not being confrontational; I just need someone to say something that would make me stay alive for their sake. My partner's relatives have called me an ungrateful selfish person and even a fallen soul being carried to hell by demons. There is no help from specialists either: they respond and suggest things, but more often in a way that makes you leave sooner. Even when I called emergency services when I wanted to end my life, they almost always told me to appreciate what I have, take some valerian, and go to sleep.

 

[User111885]

The standard advice for when you're struggling with suicidal thoughts is to "reach out" or "talk to someone". But what if you don't have any friends and the only people around are family who respond with anger when you try? Whenever I tell my mom, dad, or sister that I'm feeling depressed or suicidal they get angry with me instead of supporting me and it only makes me feel worse. I wish I had a friend I could turn to, but I don't, and where I live there isn't even a suicide hotline I can call.

there are online suicide chats you can use. you may need to change your IP to not be blocked. Be aware, even with no log VPNs they can track your location if you express serious intent to kill yourself. Somehow they can track no log VPNs now in certain situations, but I don't understand how. Believe me or don't. It probably has to do with major areas where traffic gets routed and analysis done at those points. I am not sure if they can detect what is inside the packets, just where they came from. There are free no log VPNs you can find, like ProtonVPN. You should not use that if you are in the UK, as it could violate laws. If you are in the UK, just turn yourself in for government processing etc.

my experience with friends and others is that if i tell them my emotional problems, they do not get mad right away. Instead they make 1 suggestion, which usually isn't helpful, and then get super annoyed when I don't seem grateful and think it's a great idea. So it will be like "Gosh, I am so sad recently. I just don't want to do anything." And the suggestion may be, "Why not get a therapist?" and then my response may be "Well, I've had bad experienced with therapists and don't think it's worth the money. I don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings with someone who can get me locked up if I express a lot of extreme depression." And then the rest will be anger or annoyance at me for not responding in a normal appropriate way. So my solution is when I feel like shit, I just avoid people completely, and then I only see people when I'm feeling okay.

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

where I live there isn't even a suicide hotline I can call.

Where I live, I have 988. They answer to both military veterans and LGBTQ at the same time. I am both a disabled veteran and a gay man. I've called them a lot of times. They suck. They only send the cops to my door if I show any hint of angry emotion. The cops never show up because they are lazy. But that is cool. I don't want them to show up. I'm glad they don't. But the hotline is trash. The forums on here are literally better even though most people are actively plotting suicide. You've found something better than a damn hotline.

 

[Dejected 55]

Nobody has ever responded to me with anger... mostly I get indifference or re-quoted platitudes and buzzwords that people have been conditioned to think are good things to say to someone who has shared feelings.

Society tells us we should be "emotionally mature" and "in touch" with ourselves and be willing to share... but almost at every turn we are ridiculed more and isolated more and ostracized more for sharing than we are for holding back. It is confusing and the goalposts keep shifting in society as to what is and what is not expected or acceptable. I've become tired of trying to chase the endgame.

Then there is the conundrum when you are told to talk to someone, which doesn't work at all when your whole problem is that you have no one. And therapy not only isn't effective for everyone, it often isn't even available.

Sometime last year my sister angered me when she went behind my back and called someone who then called me... and that person who called me was asking questions and pretending to care or whatever... and encouraging me to seek help and therapy... and so I asked "how much does it cost?" and the response was that they have different options and programs available... I replied that unless it was free (no cost) then it was not an option for me because I had no insurance and no money. I was told "we would have to see if you qualify" which is code for they didn't have an answer for my response. Either there would be no "free" option and I'd get a sneaky bill to go further into debt for... OR they would have a "free" program which is ineffectual because they give the bare minimum to people who cannot pay.

And I get people needing to make money and all that... but then don't call me and act like you care and it's important to get help or whatever when you already know you aren't interested in helping me if I can't pay for the best level of treatment. Your caring is in proportion to how much I can pay you, which means you don't care at all when I can't pay at all... so don't try and snow me as if I can't see right through that noise.

 

[Grog]

Yes, most people do. Most people would rather not be empathetic or help others who are sad. My mother and father are like this. My siblings are like this. Even some people on Sasu are like this.

 

[DeletedUser123xyz]

Maybe you could find someone on here to talk to?

I've found most people don't actually care. They pretend to care, so others see them and think they are good people.

Many people care about others perception of them a whole lot more then they care about being honest or genuine.

 

[hazelmoon]

same boat. No family or friends who give af what I go through. Only person I have to talk to is my therapist who gets paid to pretend like he cares, even though he probably actually hates his job like the rest of us.

My mom just gets OD pissed whenever I bring up the topic of mental health. She either starts screaming or just straight up ignores me. She's even told me several times to go find a therapist cause she doesn't wanna hear it. Eventually I just stopped trying.

The conversations switched from me trying to get her to hear me and help me, to me talking about my desires to ctb. It's easy to talk to her about that because she doesn't give af lol. If I talk to anybody else about it they'll have me locked up in the looney bin.

I guess now I'm thankful that nobody really cares because it makes it a lot easier, and makes me feel a lot less guilty about catching the bus and escaping the matrix. I guess it was just supposed to work out this way.

 

[fallingbehind]

The last time I ever expressed my actual feelings I must've been 16, I was just met with annoyance or confusion. I get it tho, typicals just don't understand what the fuck I'm talking about. They have a very warped view of depression.

 

[closetoyou]

wouldn't say anger. but most people just react the same - they become scared, cautious and just don't act the same towards you. maybe not 'anger', but i do think that people can get frustrated for some illogical reason. as if they're frustrated that you want to just leave the world but lack the emotional faculty to express this or help you in any meaningful way

feels like even the people that have gone through the same shit as you just don't wanna hear your sob stories after a certain point, but oh well.

sidenote, but love the dg pfp.

 

[TBONTB]

The standard advice for when you're struggling with suicidal thoughts is to "reach out" or "talk to someone". But what if you don't have any friends and the only people around are family who respond with anger when you try? Whenever I tell my mom, dad, or sister that I'm feeling depressed or suicidal they get angry with me instead of supporting me and it only makes me feel worse. I wish I had a friend I could turn to, but I don't, and where I live there isn't even a suicide hotline I can call.

Definitely use this forum...and make sure to ask the community for support to let go of suicidal thoughts and/or use the recovery forum. Since this is a choice based forum you will get validation of suicidal thoughts unless you specificy that's not what you want

Honestly chat gpt isn't a bad little therapist.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

The standard advice for when you're struggling with suicidal thoughts is to "reach out" or "talk to someone". But what if you don't have any friends and the only people around are family who respond with anger when you try? Whenever I tell my mom, dad, or sister that I'm feeling depressed or suicidal they get angry with me instead of supporting me and it only makes me feel worse. I wish I had a friend I could turn to, but I don't, and where I live there isn't even a suicide hotline I can call.

Yep, family just writes me off as the crazy one maybe not to my face, but definitely to others, even to my partner, and my partner's no better, so there's really no winning.
No love,
no connection…
Anger or indifference.
just a hollow kind of space in-between where even a hug is conditional, like affection only exists if it fits a certain script

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

There's no one safe to talk to.

 

[likelyonthespectrum]

The truth is most people are too caught up in their own lives to actually care. Telling family about this kind of thing usually just leads to more dysfunction unless you're in one of those rare, genuinely supportive "we talk about our feelings" families. In most cases, you're better off keeping it to yourself. A lot of it comes down to generational differences. Most of them grew up in times when life was harder, and there wasn't much room to think about passion, purpose, or self-reflection. Survival came first. That mindset shaped how they see the world. I'm not saying this applies to every family, but for dysfunctional ones, it explains a lot.
It isn't necessarily right, but it makes sense why people react the way they do. I don't blame them for it; it's just their nature. Things get more nuanced beyond this, but as a general rule, it holds true more often than not.

so what should you do? just pretend to be functional as much as you can, is it going to make you hate your life any less? no, will it remove the extra headache that can be family if you confide in them? yes

 

[jazzcat621]

Everyone i tried turning to for a while would just get mad. My sister, my gf, parents, friends, etc. It's always just about how im lazy and that clearly wanting to CTB just means I dont care about them or anyone else around me and how im self centered and cowardly. Guess that's another reason to end it

 

[PI3.14]

Kind of, not anger, but rather frustration. I stopped opening up about this to anyone around me though.

I'm planning suicide this year, I don't want to be prevented, that's why I keep my mouth shut.

 

[divinemistress87]

Ya my parents do. It's a Boomer thing..pick yourself up by your bootstraps mentality

 

[TBONTB]

Ya my parents do. It's a Boomer thing..pick yourself up by your bootstraps mentality

I'm a boomer. My bootstraps aren't working.

 

[Xiaojiu]

Tbh, the times I opened up, I would be told things like, "Suicidal thoughts are not helpful." "Dying by suicide is weak." "It's cowardly." "Suicide is selfish." "It's a sin. You will go to hell. You need to be saved."

That or they get really mad and angry.
They also make it all about themselves. "If you kill yourself, it will hurt me."

Or guilt trip you, "You will hurt a lot of people."

Or they will compare your pain and suffering to others, and say other people have it worse and are more happy and want to be alive

 

[fedup1982]

Yeh I get that sometimes too

 

[TAW122]

Generally (barring mandated reporters as even when I used to see therapists and counselors way back in the days, like during childhood, adolescence, and even early adulthood which I haven't seen since the last 7-8 years), people tend to respond negatively when talking about feelings, ranging from pity, condescending lectures, and even just outright hostility, though the latter less common. I certain hated being pitied or relegated to the status of an infant child that needs to be protected at all costs and not being able to decide for oneself, which in my opinion is worse than just outright hostility because that would be more damaging as the insinuation of not being able to be trusted with one's own thoughts and the threat or even violation of one's civil liberties.