Do people actually prepare for their suicide as described in prevention literature?

[andy69]

I am wondering if people prepare for their suicide as described in suicide prevention literature? I read that warning signs of suicidal people are actions such as calling old friends to say goodbye, giving away important possessions, and making wills or plans for funerals. I wonder how common this is? About a third of suicides are accompanied with suicide notes. I've seen films in which suicidal characters engage in this behavior (Nicholas Cage filled a bunch of garbage bags with stuff in Leaving Las Vegas. Sissy Spacek wrote instructions for her mother in night Mother.) But these were probably for dramatic effect. I've been giving away stuff - clothes, old gifts and written notes. I wonder if the more you plan a suicide the less likely you might actually do it. Or maybe it's makes it easier when the impulse of suicide returns?

Any thoughts?

 

[8yy8uiyhbij]

A few are are true such as calling ex lovers or family, however I would take what is put in a movie with a pinch of salt, they are paid for their dramatics and are not planning to provide the best view of voluntary suicide.

 

[DreamCatcher]

Depends on the person. Some want to go immediately and don't care about any preparation. Others are so obsessed with finishing all of the things they want to do before they die they never actually CTB.

I'm in between, I still have a little time left, so I'm currently giving away a few things a month. I like the idea of giving away important things to friends and close family. I'm sure most know that it's a warning sign, but I've told most of them I wasn't planning on being around for much longer anyway.

I'm on the fence about leaving notes though. If I die by some intentional accident while adventuring I think it would give them an easier time then if I left a note and they knew it was suicide.

And I know that being prepared to CTB has made me less suicidal, since I know I can leave at any time I don't worry so much about what life tosses at me anymore. So being prepared has been very helpful psychologically.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

I wonder if the more you plan a suicide the less likely you might actually do it. Or maybe it's makes it easier when the impulse of suicide returns?

Any thoughts?

i always think about it. it's been a long time since i'm planning my suicide and i'm afraid i won't make it. i really have the urge to end my life but also my instinct keeps on saying "it'll be better". but it's not, i know it's not going to be better because i have real problems that even medicine can't cure. it's like a week that i'm hoping for an huge earthquake in my country so i'm sure i'll die because my house is not legit

 

[TiredHorse]

Others are so obsessed with finishing all of the things they want to do before they die they never actually CTB.

I'm embarassed to admit this seems to be me. It's absolutely maddening.

That said, before my first attempts I gave away a lot of my stuff, wrote notes, said farewells, and had a considerable number of other typical suicidal behaviors before I stumbled across the information that they were typical suicidal behaviors. In fact, reading that my actions were typical was 1) a bit of a shock, and 2) perversely reassuring that I wasn't just being a drama queen.

 

[TimeToDie]

I saw a lawyer to write a will. I composed a note that was way too long and I've edited much of it out. I updated beneficiaries. Last week I sold an investment to realize a capital loss, a tax write off that would otherwise be wasted by death. I couldn't give away stuff since there is the (slight) risk that I may live on and it would look mighty suspicious if I gave my friend something of substantial value.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

" I read that warning signs of suicidal people are actions such as calling old friends to say goodbye, giving away important possessions, and making wills or plans for funerals..."

Ha ha yes i would say those are viable warning signs!

 

[Soul]

I wrote a will and an advance directive ages about 10 years ago, probably under the influence of Hollywood movies. I give things away regularly so people who know me have gotten used to that.

 

[ddutch]

I am wondering if people prepare for their suicide as described in suicide prevention literature? I read that warning signs of suicidal people are actions such as calling old friends to say goodbye, giving away important possessions, and making wills or plans for funerals. I wonder how common this is? About a third of suicides are accompanied with suicide notes. I've seen films in which suicidal characters engage in this behavior (Nicholas Cage filled a bunch of garbage bags with stuff in Leaving Las Vegas. Sissy Spacek wrote instructions for her mother in night Mother.) But these were probably for dramatic effect. I've been giving away stuff - clothes, old gifts and written notes. I wonder if the more you plan a suicide the less likely you might actually do it. Or maybe it's makes it easier when the impulse of suicide returns?

Any thoughts?

Arranged funeral - check
Seeing old friends - check
Dumping old shit - check
Have my method - check

 

[marcusuk63]

i have , made a will , thrown 95% of my clothes away 20 bin bags , i had a lot lol , bedding , towels , curtains etc , emptied my loft of books , magazines old tech etc , decorated and finished odd jobs off in my house , thrown kitchen stuff you amass over the years away , thrown bedroom tv`s out even my fish and tank etc etc . i found my brother dead 3 months ago and had to clear is stuff out and i had 10 x more stuff than him , so to make it easy for my younger brother who i have left my house to i am leaving it stark and easy to sell for top dollar for him . i've got a bit ocd about it lol

 

[not_a_robot]

i have , made a will , thrown 95% of my clothes away 20 bin bags , i had a lot lol , bedding , towels , curtains etc , emptied my loft of books , magazines old tech etc , decorated and finished odd jobs off in my house , thrown kitchen stuff you amass over the years away , thrown bedroom tv`s out even my fish and tank etc etc . i found my brother dead 3 months ago and had to clear is stuff out and i had 10 x more stuff than him , so to make it easy for my younger brother who i have left my house to i am leaving it stark and easy to sell for top dollar for him . i've got a bit ocd about it lol

have you set yourself a timetable?

 

[marcusuk63]

have you set yourself a timetable?

not exactly but it will be well within 3 months

 

[not_a_robot]

not exactly but it will be well within 3 months

but...Baby Agnes...

 

[marcusuk63]

but...Baby Agnes...

She will go live with my ex g/f and her gang

 

[not_a_robot]

She will go live with my ex g/f and her gang

hooligans!

 

[marcusuk63]

hooligans!

It`s Beryl , Rosie , Peggy and Agnes , sounds like an OAP`s day out lol .. they are not very good at hide and seek though when they visit

 

[done_so_done]

No, I've done none of that. I pretend to plan wonderful future for myself, not talking to anyone about my CTB. There is only one goodbye note that is going to be sent by email one week after my departure. And that's it. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm doing this stuff. Spoke to my man today asking him to remember the happy times. Telling friends and family I feel tortured and don't want to carry on. Going back to marital home to pack/get rid of stuff. Writing a will and goodbye letters.

 

[Jean Améry]

Calling people beforehand to say goodbye (even in an off-handed way) would be extremely stupid. Might aswell cut out the middle man and go straigth to an ER and ask to be committed.

Going to a notary or lawyer (whatever may be the case) to draw up a will is private unless you go boasting about it in which case the above applies. It's also possible to draw up one's own will but usually this requires witnesses which is again risky. In that case it's crucial to know the applicable law in your jurisdiction or the will might be declared null and void.

Giving away prized possessions is also a big red flag which could lead to a whole lot of unwanted attention. Much better to specify in a will who gets what.

These lists of 'warning signs' are stupid: unless you don't know what you're doing you'll likely avoid exposing yourself in such silly ways. Plus suicidal people have likely read these already so they know what to avoid.

Planning CTB should make it easier to achieve succes. Whether it increases or decreases the chance of going through with it: no idea.

 

[TimeToDie]

Going to a notary or lawyer (whatever may be the case) to draw up a will is private unless you go boasting about it in which case the above applies. It's also possible to draw up one's own will but usually this requires witnesses which is again risky.

Shockingly, it's possibly to prepare a will with your lawyer a few weeks after bringing up suicide and still have people not make the seemingly obvious connection. My beneficiary has seen the will. It seems that they must think suicidal thoughts are fleeting, since when they have a vague notion that they wish to die they always get over it by the next day. Normal people simply can't imagine that this is something one thinks about every moment for months on end.

It's very impressive how @marcusuk63 has cleaned up his place. My house will be a bit messy, but I don't think my beneficiary will mind given that she is getting a house (that's fully paid for) in addition to everything in said house plus an SUV (also fully paid for) plus some brokerage accounts. I hope she enjoys the cash & prizes though she's a decade older than me and has some health issues so I worry that she won't live that long either.

 

[marcusuk63]

Calling people beforehand to say goodbye (even in an off-handed way) would be extremely stupid. Might aswell cut out the middle man and go straigth to an ER and ask to be committed.

Going to a notary or lawyer (whatever may be the case) to draw up a will is private unless you go boasting about it in which case the above applies. It's also possible to draw up one's own will but usually this requires witnesses which is again risky. In that case it's crucial to know the applicable law in your jurisdiction or the will might be declared null and void.

Giving away prized possessions is also a big red flag which could lead to a whole lot of unwanted attention. Much better to specify in a will who gets what.

These lists of 'warning signs' are stupid: unless you don't know what you're doing you'll likely avoid exposing yourself in such silly ways. Plus suicidal people have likely read these already so they know what to avoid.

Planning CTB should make it easier to achieve succes. Whether it increases or decreases the chance of going through with it: no idea.

its why i haven't given anything away and just took it to tip lol all the good stuff is still here and as my brother died out of the blue and didnt have a will it has been a nightmare with his 3 kids to two failed marriages , so i think all my other siblings have made a will recently , as i live alone no one who visits me goes upstairs and that is where the biggest clear out has been , apart from my fish tank going they wouldn't even notice . plus i`m not young so making a will is not suspicious at my age and i dont think it is at any age really

 

[Jean Améry]

Shockingly, it's possibly to prepare a will with your lawyer a few weeks after bringing up suicide and still have people not make the seemingly obvious connection. My beneficiary has seen the will. It seems that they must think suicidal thoughts are fleeting, since when they have a vague notion that they wish to die they always get over it by the next day. Normal people simply can't imagine that this is something one thinks about every moment for months on end.

It's undeniable some people are stupid, clueless or simply don't care. Or think they have something to gain from a suicide. If one is cynical one might assume your beneficiary has no problem with you doing it as clearly he/she stands to gain from it.

I do believe it's true that since most people have never been seriously suicidal in their life they simply can't imagine people actually want to go through with it.

A while ago my brother mentioned a close friend of his told him he drew up a will (he's about 30 and well-off) in which he is named as a primary beneficiary. This friend used to be addicted to drugs and his mother died by euthanasia (she had bipolar). My immediate thought was 'preparation for suicide' but even my brother (who's been suicidal himself) does not seem to have made the connection.

Of course it's entirely possible this man was just being cautious and sensible (especially since he has a lot of money and has no immediate family left) and my assumption is skewed by my own state of mind. It seems it works both ways, doesn't it?

its why i haven't given anything away and just took it to tip lol all the good stuff is still here and as my brother died out of the blue and didnt have a will it has been a nightmare with his 3 kids to two failed marriages , so i think all my other siblings have made a will recently , as i live alone no one who visits me goes upstairs and that is where the biggest clear out has been , apart from my fish tank going they wouldn't even notice . plus i`m not young so making a will is not suspicious at my age and i dont think it is at any age really

It's true making a will by itself isn't such an odd thing (at least for those who are 30+) but given that most people who are suicidal do give off signals and usually have a history of mental illness/self-harm/attempts/talking about suicide... I'd say it's still better to keep it under wraps.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I have a will/advanced directive/beneficiaries on my retirement accounts all because I almost died of natural causes a few years ago. All that would be left would be to write out goodbye letters.

 

[not_a_robot]

I have a will/advanced directive/beneficiaries on my retirement accounts all because I almost died of natural causes a few years ago. All that would be left would be to write out goodbye letters.

lol no goodbye letters for me.
They all know what they did.
No need to let them gloat.

 

[Morphinekiss]

lol no goodbye letters for me.
They all know what they did.
No need to let them gloat.

Mine are largely dependent on who is still alive when i ctb. If my sister is only one left I'm buying dick shaped confetti and stuffing an envelope. That's all she gets.

 

[Jean Améry]

If my sister is only one left I'm buying dick shaped confetti and stuffing an envelope. That's all she gets.

Awesome. Do write 'will' in big, fat letters on it lol.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

I wanted to leave a mostly empty apartment and I actually started to throw out stuff a while ago. It was fun and it felt like I was making progress. As long as it was mostly garbage that could've been thrown out long ago anyway.

At one point I got to the first thing that had an actual value. Be it sentimental, monetary or that it actually was just still useful. And then there was resistance. I managed to clean a few of those out, but I didn't really get far and couldn't continue because it would make me cry and become anxious. So I said goodbye to the dream of the empty apartment and all things perfectly settled. I'll just do the things I can manage, prepare the means of ending my life and then eventually wait for a mood swing that takes me over the edge, that's the only way it will work.

I'll write one letter. There isn't really anyone to call left, nobody I could give anything. And I'm certainly not going to plan a funeral.

 

[done_so_done]

I wanted to leave a mostly empty apartment and I actually started to throw out stuff a while ago. It was fun and it felt like I was making progress. As long as it was mostly garbage that could've been thrown out long ago anyway.

At one point I got to the first thing that had an actual value. Be it sentimental, monetary or that it actually was just still useful. And then there was resistance. I managed to clean a few of those out, but I didn't really get far and couldn't continue because it would make me cry and become anxious. So I said goodbye to the dream of the empty apartment and all things perfectly settled. I'll just do the things I can manage, prepare the means of ending my life and then eventually wait for a mood swing that takes me over the edge, that's the only way it will work.

I'll write one letter. There isn't really anyone to call left, nobody I could give anything. And I'm certainly not going to plan a funeral.

I've been writing and editing my letter for over a week now....and I'm also waiting for some mood swing that would put me over the edge...except, now when I finally arrived to this point, I'm strangely at peace.

 

[Ross]

not exactly but it will be well within 3 months

Have you suffered a while now then to be so definite ?

 

[not_a_robot]

I wanted to leave a mostly empty apartment and I actually started to throw out stuff a while ago. It was fun and it felt like I was making progress. As long as it was mostly garbage that could've been thrown out long ago anyway.

At one point I got to the first thing that had an actual value. Be it sentimental, monetary or that it actually was just still useful. And then there was resistance. I managed to clean a few of those out, but I didn't really get far and couldn't continue because it would make me cry and become anxious. So I said goodbye to the dream of the empty apartment and all things perfectly settled. I'll just do the things I can manage, prepare the means of ending my life and then eventually wait for a mood swing that takes me over the edge, that's the only way it will work.

I'll write one letter. There isn't really anyone to call left, nobody I could give anything. And I'm certainly not going to plan a funeral.

The secret to leaving an empty apartment is to have lost everything through years of homelessness already. No room for sentimentality when everything is already lost...or so I tell myself.