Help Do I really need antipsychotics?

[another statistic]

I was on two types of antipsychotics, and now I'm on a third, on my psychotherapist's recommendation. I've never noticed myself having psychosis or acting out of line, aside from occasional emotional instability and a growing urge to change my life at 3 a.m. (I think that's a pretty common thing). But I'm on this forum for an obvious reason.

I don't want to get into why I feel this urge, but I can say for sure that I feel a strong dissonance (I think that's the best word for it) in my head and in my outlook on life. I could be wrong, since I don't fully understand it and it hasn't been confirmed by a doctor, but I think I have a very mild form of autism (maybe that's connected to it). My suicidal thoughts started two years ago; before that, the idea of suicide felt completely foreign and unimaginable to me. Throughout these two years, I've been looking for reasons to keep myself alive, but surprisingly, even to myself, I haven't found any. Still, I look at people and see how many of them live without thinking about suicide, or only think about it occasionally, like during a crisis, and I don't understand how they manage it.

Now, getting to the point: I can see that my psychiatrist is absolutely convinced that these pills will help me, which honestly reeks of magical thinking or ignoring his own track record. But I don't feel anything from the pills themselves, except for incredibly intense akathisia about an hour after taking them (probably when the concentration peaks) and drowsiness. I don't feel like my thoughts are any more focused on living, or that my behavior has changed at all. So my main question is: maybe I'm actually mentally healthy? Is what my doctor saying a lie? At the very least, I have serious doubts. Please, say something; maybe someone here has experience with this.

 

[another statistic]

I would like to add that English is not my native language and that any feedback is very valuable to me.

 

[Fadenself00]

I have been incredibly damaged by psych meds (so keep that bias in mind), but it does not sound like a good idea to put you on three antipsychotics at the same time while you experience akathisia.

Many of these Psychiatrists are more similar to homeopathists... but with insanely strong substances

From my experience with Risperidone over 1.5yrs, it just caused permanent "clean" function reduction for me (making akathisia-like side effects more permanent)... I also reacted very "transparent" to them at first, because I also had a pretty good cognitive baseline (which is quite seperate from psychological/emotional issues)

May I ask what your diagnoses are? If you are not psychotic/schizophrenic, etc. 3 antipsychotics sound like a massive stretch. (Antipsychotics are also very over-prescribed, also because they have a very predictable effect: reducing your brain functions)


[Depending on where you live, you might wanna go ahead and request your (full!) patient file with all the notes and such, about you.. You may then be able to then tell what the psychiatrist was thinking.. If you do not at all agree with that, you may have it easier to make a decision on what to do next]

 

[another statistic]

I have been incredibly damaged by psych meds (so keep that bias in mind), but it does not sound like a good idea to put you on three antipsychotics at the same time while you experience akathisia.

Many of these Psychiatrists are more similar to homeopathists... but with insanely strong substances

From my experience with Risperidone over 1.5yrs, it just caused permanent "clean" function reduction for me (making akathisia-like side effects more permanent)... I also reacted very "transparent" to them at first, because I also had a pretty good cognitive baseline (which is quite seperate from psychological/emotional issues)

May I ask what your diagnoses are? If you are not psychotic/schizophrenic, etc. 3 antipsychotics sound like a massive stretch. (Antipsychotics are also very over-prescribed, also because they have a very predictable effect: reducing your brain functions)


[Depending on where you live, you might wanna go ahead and request your (full!) patient file with all the notes and such, about you.. You may then be able to then tell what the psychiatrist was thinking.. If you do not at all agree with that, you may have it easier to make a decision on what to do next]

I'm taking antipsychotics sequentially. What I meant is that first I took the first drug, then the second, and finally the third. I took each of them for no more than three months. The dosage of the last one is quite small — just half a tablet a day (I threw away the packaging, I'll try to find out the exact dose), but that's enough to give me strong akathisia for 1–2 hours. I try to take it before bed so I can sleep through that phase.

To be honest, I don't fully understand what harm antipsychotics can cause, but based on your description, it's enough to make me feel outraged.

Regarding the patient file, I'll try to request it as soon as possible.

To be honest, I've never seen or heard hallucinations in my life. Probably only occasional anxiety and tremor if I don't get enough sleep.
My official diagnosis is depression.

Could you please tell me in more detail how you were harmed by antipsychotics?

 

[Fadenself00]

Could you please tell me in more detail how you were harmed by antipsychotics?

(I don't have that nuch cognitive resources right now, but I don't want to not reply to you so):

Feel free to check my post history, and I can recommend visiting the subreddit "r/Antipsychiatry", for getting a glimpse into what sort of death-spiral is possible with them. [Obviously some people there go through active neuropsychiatric conditions e.g. psychosis(-like) phases and may not be able to coherently express themselves, so I would recommend to try different sorting options as well as to take stories to heart that seem to be written by sound-of-mind people and which seem plausible.]

[In any case though, if you so decide to get off of them, you should do a slow taper to avoid withdrawl symptoms (which can mimick psychosis/bipolar if you're unlucky/sensitive -> maybe you see what I mean with drugging-spiral)]

I will get back to you personally though, should I have the mental resources and time.

Wish you the best ^-^/
I will also hereby Cc @idiotmother and @red² if they also want to give their input on this.

<3