Help Do I really need antipsychotics?

[another statistic]

I was on two types of antipsychotics, and now I'm on a third, on my psychotherapist's recommendation. I've never noticed myself having psychosis or acting out of line, aside from occasional emotional instability and a growing urge to change my life at 3 a.m. (I think that's a pretty common thing). But I'm on this forum for an obvious reason.

I don't want to get into why I feel this urge, but I can say for sure that I feel a strong dissonance (I think that's the best word for it) in my head and in my outlook on life. I could be wrong, since I don't fully understand it and it hasn't been confirmed by a doctor, but I think I have a very mild form of autism (maybe that's connected to it). My suicidal thoughts started two years ago; before that, the idea of suicide felt completely foreign and unimaginable to me. Throughout these two years, I've been looking for reasons to keep myself alive, but surprisingly, even to myself, I haven't found any. Still, I look at people and see how many of them live without thinking about suicide, or only think about it occasionally, like during a crisis, and I don't understand how they manage it.

Now, getting to the point: I can see that my psychiatrist is absolutely convinced that these pills will help me, which honestly reeks of magical thinking or ignoring his own track record. But I don't feel anything from the pills themselves, except for incredibly intense akathisia about an hour after taking them (probably when the concentration peaks) and drowsiness. I don't feel like my thoughts are any more focused on living, or that my behavior has changed at all. So my main question is: maybe I'm actually mentally healthy? Is what my doctor saying a lie? At the very least, I have serious doubts. Please, say something; maybe someone here has experience with this.

 

[another statistic]

I would like to add that English is not my native language and that any feedback is very valuable to me.

 

[Fadenself00_]

I have been incredibly damaged by psych meds (so keep that bias in mind), but it does not sound like a good idea to put you on three antipsychotics at the same time while you experience akathisia.

Many of these Psychiatrists are more similar to homeopathists... but with insanely strong substances

From my experience with Risperidone over 1.5yrs, it just caused permanent "clean" function reduction for me (making akathisia-like side effects more permanent)... I also reacted very "transparent" to them at first, because I also had a pretty good cognitive baseline (which is quite seperate from psychological/emotional issues)

May I ask what your diagnoses are? If you are not psychotic/schizophrenic, etc. 3 antipsychotics sound like a massive stretch. (Antipsychotics are also very over-prescribed, also because they have a very predictable effect: reducing your brain functions)


[Depending on where you live, you might wanna go ahead and request your (full!) patient file with all the notes and such, about you.. You may then be able to then tell what the psychiatrist was thinking.. If you do not at all agree with that, you may have it easier to make a decision on what to do next]

 

[another statistic]

I have been incredibly damaged by psych meds (so keep that bias in mind), but it does not sound like a good idea to put you on three antipsychotics at the same time while you experience akathisia.

Many of these Psychiatrists are more similar to homeopathists... but with insanely strong substances

From my experience with Risperidone over 1.5yrs, it just caused permanent "clean" function reduction for me (making akathisia-like side effects more permanent)... I also reacted very "transparent" to them at first, because I also had a pretty good cognitive baseline (which is quite seperate from psychological/emotional issues)

May I ask what your diagnoses are? If you are not psychotic/schizophrenic, etc. 3 antipsychotics sound like a massive stretch. (Antipsychotics are also very over-prescribed, also because they have a very predictable effect: reducing your brain functions)


[Depending on where you live, you might wanna go ahead and request your (full!) patient file with all the notes and such, about you.. You may then be able to then tell what the psychiatrist was thinking.. If you do not at all agree with that, you may have it easier to make a decision on what to do next]

I'm taking antipsychotics sequentially. What I meant is that first I took the first drug, then the second, and finally the third. I took each of them for no more than three months. The dosage of the last one is quite small — just half a tablet a day (I threw away the packaging, I'll try to find out the exact dose), but that's enough to give me strong akathisia for 1–2 hours. I try to take it before bed so I can sleep through that phase.

To be honest, I don't fully understand what harm antipsychotics can cause, but based on your description, it's enough to make me feel outraged.

Regarding the patient file, I'll try to request it as soon as possible.

To be honest, I've never seen or heard hallucinations in my life. Probably only occasional anxiety and tremor if I don't get enough sleep.
My official diagnosis is depression.

Could you please tell me in more detail how you were harmed by antipsychotics?

 

[Fadenself00_]

Could you please tell me in more detail how you were harmed by antipsychotics?

(I don't have that nuch cognitive resources right now, but I don't want to not reply to you so):

Feel free to check my post history, and I can recommend visiting the subreddit "r/Antipsychiatry", for getting a glimpse into what sort of death-spiral is possible with them. [Obviously some people there go through active neuropsychiatric conditions e.g. psychosis(-like) phases and may not be able to coherently express themselves, so I would recommend to try different sorting options as well as to take stories to heart that seem to be written by sound-of-mind people and which seem plausible.]

[In any case though, if you so decide to get off of them, you should do a slow taper to avoid withdrawl symptoms (which can mimick psychosis/bipolar if you're unlucky/sensitive -> maybe you see what I mean with drugging-spiral)]

I will get back to you personally though, should I have the mental resources and time.

Wish you the best ^-^/
I will also hereby Cc @idiotmother and @red² if they also want to give their input on this.

<3

 

[ScarletTanager]

I was on two types of antipsychotics, and now I'm on a third, on my psychotherapist's recommendation. I've never noticed myself having psychosis or acting out of line, aside from occasional emotional instability and a growing urge to change my life at 3 a.m. (I think that's a pretty common thing). But I'm on this forum for an obvious reason.

I don't want to get into why I feel this urge, but I can say for sure that I feel a strong dissonance (I think that's the best word for it) in my head and in my outlook on life. I could be wrong, since I don't fully understand it and it hasn't been confirmed by a doctor, but I think I have a very mild form of autism (maybe that's connected to it). My suicidal thoughts started two years ago; before that, the idea of suicide felt completely foreign and unimaginable to me. Throughout these two years, I've been looking for reasons to keep myself alive, but surprisingly, even to myself, I haven't found any. Still, I look at people and see how many of them live without thinking about suicide, or only think about it occasionally, like during a crisis, and I don't understand how they manage it.

Now, getting to the point: I can see that my psychiatrist is absolutely convinced that these pills will help me, which honestly reeks of magical thinking or ignoring his own track record. But I don't feel anything from the pills themselves, except for incredibly intense akathisia about an hour after taking them (probably when the concentration peaks) and drowsiness. I don't feel like my thoughts are any more focused on living, or that my behavior has changed at all. So my main question is: maybe I'm actually mentally healthy? Is what my doctor saying a lie? At the very least, I have serious doubts. Please, say something; maybe someone here has experience with this.

Most of this world
Is trying to sell sell sell stuff and make
Money money money so you are just doing due diligence to question being sold medication, especially something that is going to alter your mind and pass into the brain. Be careful.

 

[TheBag]

Please be careful with these kind of medications because they can cause (irreversible) tardive dyskinesia.

 

[neurotoxic]

I strongly advise you listen to your doctor, get a second opinion if desired, but listen to professionals over the anecdotal experiences you hear on this forum, or anywhere online. Also remember than medications can take months to begin working.

 

[Fadenself00_]

I strongly advise you listen to your doctor, get a second opinion if desired, but listen to professionals over the anecdotal experiences you hear on this forum, or anywhere online. Also remember than medications can take months to begin working.

That is unfortunately not really how these drugs (can) work. The risk/benefit ratio is generally not worth it, because of what severe side effects *can* occur.
(Especially when antipsychotics are prescribed for non-psychotic symptoms)

If you could "record" the life destroying side effects these drugs can have, and show them to people, these substances would be handled entirely different (e.g. reducing exposure whereever possible).

(OP also reports feeling nothing but side effects, which is a major red flag to then continue, and I'd assume that's why their gut instinct told them to seek advice with a post like this. If OP pulls their files, they may have a better idea, if the psychiatrist is maybe additonally withholding information and being sneaky, which would add to the red flag pool)


Psychiatry is so far from an exact science right now, that it can be best compared to homeopathic healing practitioners with very potent, mind altering substances.

 

[neurotoxic]

Again, without casting doubt on anyone's personal experience, I strongly recommend people listen to professionals. And I have to denounce some of the preaching I see here lately, it reminds me of anti-vax and other anti-science movements. Don't tell people not to take their meds, especially people in vulnerable situations who can be particularly harmed by recommendations of noncompliance with their treatment.

 

[RadioGaga]

I'm taking antipsychotics sequentially. What I meant is that first I took the first drug, then the second, and finally the third. I took each of them for no more than three months. The dosage of the last one is quite small — just half a tablet a day (I threw away the packaging, I'll try to find out the exact dose), but that's enough to give me strong akathisia for 1–2 hours. I try to take it before bed so I can sleep through that phase.

To be honest, I don't fully understand what harm antipsychotics can cause, but based on your description, it's enough to make me feel outraged.

Regarding the patient file, I'll try to request it as soon as possible.

To be honest, I've never seen or heard hallucinations in my life. Probably only occasional anxiety and tremor if I don't get enough sleep.
My official diagnosis is depression.

Could you please tell me in more detail how you were harmed by antipsychotics?

If you're diagnosed, and it's just depression. How come you're on antipsychotics and not antidepressants? There are other meds and med classes and antipsychotics are mainly used for people to have bipolar depression or bipolar disorder and have psychosis or schizophrenia.

Actually, I heard that some psych doctors will actually start you off with Wellbutrin instead to help which is an NDRI and a bit different than SSRIs or antidepressants and what not.

It kind of to me sounds like maybe you're on the wrong meds or something. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about this and see about trying something other than antipsychotics. :).

If your doctor is going to be insistent that these pills are miracle pills or some bullshit like that then you should try changing Psych Docs and finding someone else unless you can't do that due to insurance or some mean thing like that in America or wherever you live. :(.

 

[Fadenself00_]

Again, without casting doubt on anyone's personal experience, I strongly recommend people listen to professionals. And I have to denounce some of the preaching I see here lately, it reminds me of anti-vax and other anti-science movements. Don't tell people not to take their meds, especially people in vulnerable situations who can be particularly harmed by recommendations of noncompliance with their treatment.

These drugs alter the mind - literally by design. And they can torture people, really, really badly..

Once again, if only ONE of these extreme downward spirals could be "recorded" and shown to people, these drugs would be *massively* re-categorized.

OP seems sound of mind and has clearly thought about their situation and specifically sought out peer/patient-advice. I'm giving him that advice, based on a chain of events caused by psychiatric drugs, that have ruined my life and tortured me beyond comprehention.


It may give you "anti-vaxx"-vibes, but I can assure you right now, that this "ick"-feeling is severely incorrect here, and seems to be one of the biggest reasons, why people like us are deemed crazy, etc..

The human brain seems to be having a hard time comprehending things like this, without putting it into the "seems like a conspiracy and bullshit"-bin.


I want to once again emphasize, how these drugs are literally designed to interact with brain chemistry, making up your personality (all while we still have pretty much zero idea of how they actually, objectively work - especially on an individual-level), whereas a vaccine aims to have as close to zero interaction with that, as possible..

 

[neurotoxic]

These drugs alter the mind - literally by design. And they can torture people, really, really badly..

Once again, if only ONE of these extreme downward spirals could be "recorded" and shown to people, these drugs would be *massively* re-categorized.

OP seems sound of mind and has clearly thought about their situation and specifically sought out peer/patient-advice. I'm giving him that advice, based on a chain of events caused by psychiatric drugs, that have ruined my life and tortured me beyond comprehention.


It may give you "anti-vaxx"-vibes, but I can assure you right now, that this "ick"-feeling is severely incorrect here, and seems to be one of the biggest reasons, why people like us are deemed crazy, etc..

The human brain seems to be having a hard time comprehending things like this, without putting it into the "seems like a conspiracy and bullshit"-bin.


I want to once again emphasize, how these drugs are literally designed to interact with brain chemistry, making up your personality (all while we still have pretty much zero idea of how they actually, objectively work - especially on an individual-level), whereas a vaccine aims to have as close to zero interaction with that, as possible..

Don't misunderstand me, I'm in no way doubting your experience with medications. I don't think you're crazy at all. I've had some bad experiences myself with meds and with psychiatry in general, but I also work in the field and have had to develop a nuanced view of behavioral health and medicine in general. I think overall, discouraging compliance with treatment is harmful. I've seen it occur in a few different ways on here, and usually its well-meaning warnings by people who've had bad experiences, but these experiences are not the majority, and with most medications, not supported by data. You mentioned that if the dangers could be recorded then psych meds would be re-categorized, why can't the things you mention be recorded? I can't think of many things that evade documentation like that. Especially with how strict requirements are for drug companies to report side effects (hence the long list of side effects in ads for meds). I can certainly see some side effects slipping under the radar and not getting documented, but common, severe, life-altering permanent side effects that are somehow evading documentation?

One can have reservations and criticisms about medications while also acknowledging that the worst case scenario and severe reactions do not occur in the vast majority of cases, and while acknowledging that they do facilitate recovery and allow people to function better in many cases. Many people would not be able to live productive lives without medication.

 

[Fadenself00_]

I've seen it occur in a few different ways on here, and usually its well-meaning warnings by people who've had bad experiences, but these experiences are not the majority, and with most medications, not supported by data. You mentioned that if the dangers could be recorded then psych meds would be re-categorized, why can't the things you mention be recorded?

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this should also highlight why the differences between clinical testing and reality may be so severe. You have a lot more enviromental factors, mixes in dose and duration, etc.
@another statistic do you have any update for us btw.?