Help Do good parents overcome the suicide of their child?

[Pessimist]

I wrote about what I have learned. As a parent who had lost a child.

I do not believe there is such a thing as 'getting over it', 'moving on', or similar frequently used expressions.

I do believe some people eventually learn how to live with their pain. Some do not.

Just like some people never consider ending their own lives, not even in extreme hardship, such as concentration camps, for instance. While some do. What makes the difference? Countless thinkers in just about every discipline have been trying to answer it for centuries. To not much consensus. My personal view is that the difference lies in the 'selfish gene.' Survival, in its very essence, is above all the matter of selfishness. Mostly via a subconscious mechanism. Is it as good as the majority believes? A 'blessing' as it is often called? I am not terribly sure about that. There seems to me to be such a condition as 'sentenced to living.' Neither able to live nor die. Undead.

But those are just my views. Experience had thoughts me that they are unacceptable to many. I prefer Emil Cioran. And Charles Bukowski. For what it is worth. They, and a few others, knew it. Deep inside themselves.

Me ... I am out.


There is no such thing as "good parents"! There are just parents. Shitty, fallible humans who become parents just like their parents did ... and those before them and so on and so forth! And each generation passing onto the next what has been given to them.

And yes, you are right - when a kid, a young person, a person under 25 dies by suicide, what they have lost, the magnitude of the life not lived is so grand to dwarf any parental grief. Death by the suicide of any person under 25 is a direct result of parental, and to a lesser extent, society's failure. No two ways about it.

If there is anything I would say to all the young people seriously considering ending it, would be - take a step back. Just for a moment. Not because you don't have the right to do it or need permission, or because of the pain you are going to cause to your parents or whoever. You are born with that right. Need no permission. From anyone. But first, raise the middle finger. Seriously. Because it is your life. They are not worth it. Not your parents, your boyfriends/girlfriends, society. Cosmos. They. Are. Not. Worth. It. It is your life.

That's. All.

I'm not even 20, but life is really tough for me. What you wrote gives me some motivation. Thanks.