Discussion Do any of your friends/family know you are suicidal?

[Rubypie41]

As the title says, do any of your friends/family know you want to die?

If so, how did you approach this with them and what do they say?

I suffer with incurable and debilitating ear conditions that have ruined my life. I've tried to have conversations with certain family members about wanting to end my suffering and misery and some of them are literally outraged that I would even consider such a thing.

To me it's even more outrageous that they expect me to carry on suffering with such a shit quality of life.

I'm not actually a suicidal person and in fact loved life before my 5 year journey with these horrendous ear conditions started. I've had multiple failed surgeries, tried counselling, CBT, antidepressants etc, but nothing helps.

Their reaction makes me feel so bad about myself and like somehow this is all my fault. I didn't choose to have these ear conditions, that's just the card I've been dealt with unfortunately, so how is that my fault for how it makes me feel.

Just wondered if anyone else can relate?

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

The only people who know I'm suicidal are my mother and my oldest brother. In December, I had told them I was suicidal. My mother said she was worried I might hurt myself and wanted me to do something with my life, while my brother said he didn't want to spend money on my funeral because he said funerals were very expensive.

Initially, they helped me feel better, but in March, when I got my first job, I started feeling worse, and they no longer supported me financially because they wanted me to use my money for therapy and medication.
I started to feel disappointed because it seemed like they cared more about money than my well-being. I say this because my first job was a nightmare that ruined my mental health, and it seemed like they didn't care about my suffering at work because all they wanted was for me not to depend on them financially for my treatment...

I feel like a waste of money to them...

 

[d-tea]

My partner knows. They've been with me through the latest, and honestly worst thus far phase of active ideation to ctb, with multiple failed attempts.
So I didn't really have to approach them and tell them, they knew & tried very hard to get me to stay.

Other than that, no. Some of my online friends know I'm struggling, but not to what extent.
I guess we talked about it through jokes and memes with some seriousness in between.

I could never let my family know, we are not close enough for a conversation like that, it would just be unpleasant for everyone involved. I'd rather keep them under the assumption that my life is going great, which seems true from an outside perspective.

 

[JaJu]

In my case, my family took it as my way of being overly dramatic and attention seeking. They don't believe I'll actually do it—even finding the noose I learned to tie they didn't bat an eye or care the slightest. They're the type of people to not worry about it until it happens. So I guess that's good if I do have plans to ctb in the future since I'll have plenty of opportunities and little suspicion.

 

[Ranni]

I've had a couple attempts in the past, so everyone in my immediate family knows. My mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law. Other than that, my ex and a few close friends know. I feel I'm kind of lucky as I've had a pretty good support system, but even with all they do, I just feel like I can't shake these thoughts. Lately I've been kind of pretending to be better off than I am, and I think they're all falling for it.

 

[Rubypie41]

The only people who know I'm suicidal are my mother and my oldest brother. In December, I had told them I was suicidal. My mother said she was worried I might hurt myself and wanted me to do something with my life, while my brother said he didn't want to spend money on my funeral because he said funerals were very expensive.

Initially, they helped me feel better, but in March, when I got my first job, I started feeling worse, and they no longer supported me financially because they wanted me to use my money for therapy and medication.
I started to feel disappointed because it seemed like they cared more about money than my well-being. I say this because my first job was a nightmare that ruined my mental health, and it seemed like they didn't care about my suffering at work because all they wanted was for me not to depend on them financially for my treatment...

I feel like a waste of money to them...

So sorry you've been made to feel that way.

Not sure how old you are or if you suffer from any physical conditions, but if you're young and only suffering with your mental health then thing's can get better. Might not seem like it now or in the immediate future, but given enough time thing's could well come good for you.

I say only mental health, but what I mean by that is if you're suffering from thing's like depression, anxiety, general mental health problems, there are many who have stuck it out and are now leading very happy, productive and fulfilling lives.

Not playing anything down about your situation because I don't know you, but I do believe if physically fit and healthy then you could eventually find happiness.

Obviously if this has been going on a long time and nothing improves and you decide enough is enough, then that's also fine.

I've been through a lot of shit in my life and for me the mental side has been the easiest to overcome. Learning to be yourself, not caring what others think, not putting pressure on yourself, doing what you enjoy, being around people that you relate to and make you happy are fundamental.

I hope you find peace in your life and wish you nothing but love and happiness.

 

[Forveleth]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. My family would immediately dump me in a psych ward to "fix" me (funny as they're a portion of my problems). I don't have any really close friends to tell.

I've told my partner I want to die multiple times but I think they think I'm just super depressed and not actually ready to go.

Edit: grammar

 

[onbekend]

Nope. I've came close to confessing about it a couple times, but nobody knows still. Probably for the best.

 

[bookgirl]

My family and friends don't know

 

[DyingToDie123]

Yep. They don't care, most of my friends abandoned me for it. I assume they either don't think I have the guts to go through with it (and they might be right but I hope and pray every day that I can finally prove them wrong), or they just don't care if I live or die. Either way it's just made my life more painful.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I've got physical health problems like you. In my case I've got a breathing disorder and erectile dysfunction. I can't tolerate either. I intend to CTB if doctors cannot fix both. I have made my family aware of the situation and asserted my rights under the 1961 Suicide Act. Suicide is a logical way out from physical health problems buddy and was one reason why suicide was legalised. You shouldn't feel bad about it all. My family's initial reaction was shock, but they have grown used to it over time. It's unrealistic to expect me to live with permanent unemployment being unable to breathe normally and they know that really. Only thing is, my mum keeps speaking of recovery, but from my understanding of my situation, recovery is unlikely. Still, to give you some idea how supportive my parents have been, they found out about my SN despite my best efforts to keep it from them. Despite knowing about it, they have emphasised that's it my property and they won't take it away from me.

 

[AllMyDreams]

My close family knows, it was easier telling them when I was a teenager because you're still supposed to be a bit unstable and figuring things out, but it's harder to tell them when you're in your mid-20s and still feeling this way sometimes

 

[Ash]

My family haven't got a clue. I told friends when I went into crisis at the start of the year but their support was pretty short lived. I wish I hadn't told anyone except for those who absolutely had to know (looking after the dog) as that's worse than nobody knowing in the first place.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Only one "friend" knows, and she left me. She had her own mental problems, so it's kinda understandable, but I hope she understand me too, and I was wrong.

 

[divinemistress36]

They don't believe me cause they have heard it so many times before

 

[Eudaimonic]

Most of my online friends and, unfortunately, my parents (although, perhaps they don't still think I'm suicidal as it's been a while, idk).

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My mom knows about the my past suicide attempt from this year since I told her about it while talking about my suspension in my note. My dad may not though, since I never came around to telling him after seeing his reaction to my sh scars. If he does know about them then it's because my mom told him.

 

[Rev346]

Nope. Been down that road before and people yelled at me instead of sympathized. I have physical issues that started in my 20s and people just said I need to keep trying new doctors. I was tired of spending all the money on nothing (one doctor lectures me on how suicide was bad and another said I should lie to him because he couldn't deal with the pressure of me killing myself if he couldn't find/fix the issue). Finally did find a doctor that helped but haven't been able to do the a activity I love most since 2008.

 

[J&L383]

No. Well, maybe my ex but it's been years and we are not in touch. If I ever do go down that road, she would probably be the least surprised (compared to siblings or friends), but also very sad.

 

[SparkleWater]

yes but they ignore it just like all the other problems in their lives

 

[Z-A]

I sometimes make dark jokes about it, but I don't discuss it seriously with anyone because there's nothing they can do to help me. It would only make them worry, which is unnecessary.

 

[Little_Suzy]

In person, almost no one will express their condolences regarding your decision to end your life. Use "when I die" to engage in a more spontaneous conversation drawing on recent news, pop culture, etc.


Outside of SaSu, prepare for the same old clapbacks.

"Jesus loves you and died for you!"

"You know nothing about suffering, you can afford a doctor!"

"You have a mother and food. Orphans in third-world countries face real suffering because they go to bed hungry every night."


Don't bother asking them whether Jesus loves orphans. They get very angry at this point!

 

[LunarLight]

Most of my friends and close family know. I didn't approach it with my family exactly, they just saw how depressed I was, dropping out of college and stuff, and when they asked me what was wrong, I told them I was suicidal. They don't say anything, I just think they're worried as fuck. Same with my friends, they don't say anything, because they can't understand my suffering, they're not in my shoes.
My partner knows because I told them from the start I had mental health problems, they do as well, so there's a mutual understanding of our respective issues. Mine are worse though.

 

[4am]

no, nobody irl knows, and i hope they'll never know. revealing your suicidality is the dumbest thing you can do imo

 

[Yavannah]

absolutely everyone in my family knows after the police pulled up at a family members birthday party to do a ,wellness check' and confiscated my SN (IC fiasco)
it was the most humiliating and embarrassing thing and has worsened my whole situation.

 

[LunarLight]

absolutely everyone in my family knows after the police pulled up at a family members birthday party to do a ,wellness check' and confiscated my SN (IC fiasco)
it was the most humiliating and embarrassing thing and has worsened my whole situation.

Oh shit. Where are you from? I'm soooo afraid of a wellness check.

 

[Silent_cries]

Both yes and no. Almost everyone around me know that I have been suicidal before, and might know that I am rn or at least that I recently have been since I've always been open about the fact that I have mental issues and I've had my unstable episodes in the past too. However I don't think anyone knows just how suicidal I am rn since I never bring it up anymore both bc it's pointless coz everyone has gotten so used to my issues that no one takes me seriously anymore, and bc I've developed a crippling fear of not being able to ctb bc of how horrendous my life can be sometimes with my unbearble anxieties and moodswings and whatnot. I never talk about it with anyone irl at all anymore.

 

[Yavannah]

Oh shit. Where are you from? I'm soooo afraid of a wellness check.

im from western Europe
please don't be afraid!
this has only happened to people that ordered from I.C and the only reason was to gather evidence for the Kenneth Law lawsuit.
i would have ordered SN again but unfortunately my family checks the sender of every package i order from.

 

[Forveleth]

My close family knows, it was easier telling them when I was a teenager because you're still supposed to be a bit unstable and figuring things out, but it's harder to tell them when you're in your mid-20s and still feeling this way sometimes

Ain't this the thing? It's almost like there's a double standard. If you're a suicidal teen it's "just being a struggling teen" but if you're older it's this huge deal. I got the "all teens go through this" lecture from my parents and got zero treatment. I always wonder if I'd be more well adjusted now if they would have actually taken me seriously when I was young.

 

[LunarLight]

im from western Europe
please don't be afraid!
this has only happened to people that ordered from I.C and the only reason was to gather evidence for the Kenneth Law lawsuit.
i would have ordered SN again but unfortunately my family checks the sender of every package i order from.

Okay, thanks, I'm relieved.