Discussion Do any of you cut yourself like self- harm?

[SuicidalManiac]

Do you any of you cut yourself ? Like self- harm. When did it start and why?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

No, because I hate scarring.

 

[Un-]

When I was fourteen I hated myself. I still do. I cut as a way to punish myself for the shit things in my life. Ashamedly, I also liked the way the scars looked on me. It's wrong, but I watch videos of self-harmers; I stare at pictures of people's scars, and I can't help feel envious. I wish I could go deeper, I wish I could bleed more, I wish I could see my tendons and bone. I hate that I did it though, because my thighs are filled to the brim with scars. So are my feet, my arms and stomach. It's a sure-fire way of shutting down opportunities like friendships, and relationships. I can't stop though. There's something nostalgic, comforting.. about sitting on the side of your bed and slitting your wrists. Similar to eating a childhood sweet. I'm fucking fucked up.. I belong six feet under, that's my problem. I'm not dead yet, that's my problem.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Ive been cutting since I was 14, just cut yesterday... Probably will again today.

 

[EmptyFields]

I still do here and there. Used to burn, but it stopped doing anything for me. Cutting is kind of losing its appeal, too. Problem is I've been doing it a long time, and I'm running out of real estate. I wear short and sleeveless shirts at the gym. So I need to keep the arms and below the knees clean. That leaves me with the torso, which I scarred up nicely, last I cut. I've got unused space on my upper legs, but I'm worried they'll open up while I wear shorts. When you cut, and you want to keep it secret, you've got to plan ahead. There have been a couple times I've cut and started bleeding through my shirt because the cuts opened.

As for why, for the same reason suicide is appealing: it's a reassertion of one's bodily autonomy. Makes me feel I'm in control and have a means to express myself when I can't verbalize or even form a cohesive thought. When I'm spiraling downward, and it feels like nothing is real, or I'm not real, I know, at least, the pain I'm feeling is real.

 

[TJuk]

I've selfharmed by cutting since I was 10 years old, I'm now 29. For a short time I turned to burning but yeah don't do that anymore after two skin grafts that look awful.
I unfortunately started cutting on my upper arms and stomach, my whole arms are covered in scars now, as is my stomach and all my legs. They are ugly can get really itchy.

I still wear t-shirts if it's warm as I am past caring what people think, or caring that they stare at my scars. Unless I'm going somewhere with lots of kids around I then cover them up.

I do it to cope because I learnt from a young age that it wasn't safe to express my emotions. So yeah I do it because I am emotionally numb and feeling pain is at least something.
I Also do it to shut my Voices up

 

[karasu]

I started when I was probably around 13~14. My family moved around a lot and I didn't really have a stable place to call home or make any lasting friendships. Everywhere I lived, I ended up being bullied because I was shy and an easy target. Some of the bullying was due to racism as well which made me start to really hate who I was since elementary school. I had horrible self esteem and home life wasn't very good either with my parents. I think it was a combination of those reasons and probably many other things that made me start cutting. There was a period of time where I didn't self harm but unfortunately, I've started again during the past few years albeit I try to reserve cutting myself to a last resort even though it's very cathartic for me.

 

[Cathy Ames]

There is a self harm Mega Thread here.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/self-harm-megathread.79038/

 

[stupid little girl]

Yes. At age 11 I started cutting myself. I felt hurt by something a friend did to me and I remembered that some people online said that cutting made them feel better. So, I did and, well, continued to do so for, well, since then lol.

 

[Velvet Fortress]

On rare occasions. SH in the form of hitting my face/head pretty hard is much more common, idk self-harm is more impulsive than ritualistic for me I guess

 

[8evergo]

t

when i was a
teenager, due to heartbreak i shot myself in the forearm with a co2 bb gun thinking it would ease my mental aches and pains.

 

[l0stc4use]

i started cutting when i was 18 or 19 and only stopped now bc i threw away my razors. i want to buy some more and start again if im being honest

 

[Hope:-)]

No, it's not for me.

 

[8evergo]

Today I don't do that because I love myself too much
this broken heart heart hurt me for years that was my first experience

I can understand people who do this

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Only when I was around 15 for approximately a year or so. The pain, blood and unwarranted attention from people who would notice wasn't for me. I'm 32 now so it's been a long time since then.

 

[LunaNyx_]

Oh, most definitely. And the scarring is why.

 

[xo777]

Yes x
It started around 8 years old I don't remember my reasoning back then

 

[Rd2nowhere]

No, I am too vain.