It depends whether you are functioning or not as to if they are worth taking.
If you are just unhappy but able to function i wouldnt bother as they dont make you happy.
If you arent functioning well ie sleeping, eating, getting to work, exercising, maintaining relationships,.
They can help.but id only advise them if your really struggling and contemplating ctb.
The thing is that I just don't know if I'm lazy or what. Like today, I did wake up and do what I was supposed to do with (kind of) minimal effort, but I was lolly gagging the entire way when I was getting ready; sort of lying in bed and pretending I was dead, etc.
I don't think at this point I can consider ctb. I worry about turning 30 in a couple of years, though, and still feeling this way.
I think I am able to sort of maintain relationships, but usually the conversations I have end up being pretty negative in nature or about how I'm struggling in life.
My circumstances really suck, though. I just moved to a new town for graduate school, have no friends here, support system, etc, not really sure what I'm doing. I don't know if it's just a combination of things that leave me inclining toward fantasy of ctb, or if it's because I'm lazy, and just am making excuses not to give it my all at school, go to the gym, wake up at 8:00 and make myself breakfast, etc.
I just feel that I really have nothing to look forward to or live for. My inclinations toward depression and extreme thinking have really pushed away some people. I think past disregard for boundaries have really pushed me away from family to the point, as well, that my mother doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
I have a couple of friends back home who care about my well-being, and don't like me being in a place where I consider ctb, but overall; I just have an over-looming feeling that nobody cares, that I'm being left behind, that I'm alone, etc. Which is true...I really don't have any family or significantly close relationships that makes this life worth living.
I would go out of my way to try and build a support system and get better organically, but I think COVID has just complicated that. There's really nobody that is meeting up right now, and I notice when I do talk to people, I'm super timid because of my emotions and I am worried I'll get "found out" for my depression and also the seriously fucked up shit I've been through.
Just, I don't know. I am worried that going on medications could make my physical health worse, and then getting more depressed from that.