P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
Since I'm convinced to ctb and that I have a legit method (SN), I am very cautious of what I say to my folks.

In the past I was always bragging openly about me killing myself, proud and stupid, well at least up until the point they called the cops on me, because of missing person. I was ending up in the psych ward, I escaped it once tho, by promising everybody I would seek help ( hah, me seeking help? You don't know me)
But generally speaking being open about ctb doesnt bring any good,everybody worries and you in the constant fear to end up in psych ward.

After those experiences I just learned to shut my pie hole, no more bragging about ctb anymore.

Of course I'm feeling like shit all the time and everybody is aware of that, but I guess I play the game well enough to not get jailed in psych ward.

How about you guys?
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
I tell nothing to anyboy, except on this single site. It's the only way not to be put in a psych ward.
 
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200_ponies

200_ponies

Member
Apr 8, 2019
32
That's exactly what it is, is playing the game. Isn't it so telling how when you need help the most, you're in the most danger of being locked away for good without any sympathy? Society is beyond repair.
 
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Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
If I tell other people, they will use that opportunity to preach and judge me about "right and wrong" in order to satisfy their inflating ego. Things will only get worse after that.

No, thanks. I'd rather keep my ctb intention to myself.
 
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JustOverIt

JustOverIt

Experienced
Nov 8, 2018
270
This is why I love this community. We are intelligent and rational people. I agree with all of the responses.
 
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P

Peeloffallmyskin

Member
Apr 7, 2019
13
I'm weary about what I post online now also. I was active on reddit until somebody traced my ip address and called the cops last week.
 
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JustOverIt

JustOverIt

Experienced
Nov 8, 2018
270
I'm weary about what I post online now also. I was active on reddit until somebody traced my ip address and called the cops last week.

Jesus, that's incredibly invasive
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Since I'm convinced to ctb and that I have a legit method (SN), I am very cautious of what I say to my folks.

In the past I was always bragging openly about me killing myself, proud and stupid, well at least up until the point they called the cops on me, because of missing person. I was ending up in the psych ward, I escaped it once tho, by promising everybody I would seek help ( hah, me seeking help? You don't know me)
But generally speaking being open about ctb doesnt bring any good,everybody worries and you in the constant fear to end up in psych ward.

After those experiences I just learned to shut my pie hole, no more bragging about ctb anymore.

Of course I'm feeling like shit all the time and everybody is aware of that, but I guess I play the game well enough to not get jailed in psych ward.

How about you guys?
It is ironic, as if we tell someone we're looking to CTB, they react like they must save us. If people listened more objectively and the subject wasn't as taboo, then maybe the murkiness of mental health and suicide would be a bit clearer.
In my direct experience, bit like yours, tell anyone IRL about how you feel and you opening yourself up for a world of pain.
Just my 2c
DBD
 
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J

J F

Member
Aug 17, 2018
79
Since I'm convinced to ctb and that I have a legit method (SN), I am very cautious of what I say to my folks.

In the past I was always bragging openly about me killing myself, proud and stupid, well at least up until the point they called the cops on me, because of missing person. I was ending up in the psych ward, I escaped it once tho, by promising everybody I would seek help ( hah, me seeking help? You don't know me)
But generally speaking being open about ctb doesnt bring any good,everybody worries and you in the constant fear to end up in psych ward.

After those experiences I just learned to shut my pie hole, no more bragging about ctb anymore.

Of course I'm feeling like shit all the time and everybody is aware of that, but I guess I play the game well enough to not get jailed in psych ward.

How about you guys?
Yeah I had a big fight about Suicide with my wife. Talked about the fight in more detail on a thread I created on SS. That was a big mistake. I think I did it to get a reaction to see if she cared about me. She just called me selfish. Now I am keeping my mouth shut from now on with her and anyone else. Nobody truly cares anyway. At least in my case that is.
 
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Davy

Davy

Have a great day!
Mar 24, 2019
144
I was in a psych ward two weeks ago, now I have to visit a counseller every week and a psychiatrist every month. It's killing me because I hate lying to them but I also can't reveal my real intentions. I feel like I'm wasting their time.
 
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SearchForPeace

SearchForPeace

Soo much agony. Little reward. Give me Peace.
Apr 11, 2019
45
After failing 2 attempts, and then being as honest as I can about my mental health to "professionals" in order to "get better", for me, there is no getting better. Only way forward is to CTB. I hate lying to family and various people in my mental health team but it will always be the same cycle over and over again - Tell them that i'm suicidal, be referred to a psych ward, be there for 2-3 months, get discharged, see a counselor weekly, feel OK for the first week or so, feel like shit and then want to CTB. I can't be in the cycle forever, i don't want to be here. Can't tell no one about what's going in my head even though I want to. Now i just have to act "happy" and "normal" until my departure.
 
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FreeFallin

FreeFallin

Wish you were here.
Mar 21, 2019
20
When I've bought my ticket for the bus, no one will know. Never share that information unless it is your intention to be saved. Being saved isn't 100%. Be careful. Hope you find peace.
 
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RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,135
I tried talking about my suicidality with my psychiatrists in the past. I tried to explain it to them. My conclusion: very bad idea, not gonna do that again, that's for sure. They said my suicidality is like fever. Interesting, isn't it? They don't seem to understand that society, our whole enviroment, all of this system, is the actual fever. Well, they don't understand and they can't, because their mission is to save lifes - at all costs. And people comitting suicide is the exact opposite of what people should do according to their dogma. So I'm gonna keep it to myself until I'm gone. But I'm very open about my current mental state to my friends. They're mostly people from this community and they understand.
 
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heaterxo

heaterxo

Member
Aug 31, 2018
7
Being under the radar is always best. In many ways I call it method acting. Takes time to build up that type of illusion. It sometimes is very difficult.
 
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littlelady774

littlelady774

running on empty
Dec 20, 2018
708
They said my suicidality is like fever. Interesting, isn't it?
That's crazy :(
& These are the people that specialize in this sort of thing and have gone to school for years for it, and still don't understand what their patients are going through. smh
 
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