Venting Discovered more abuse I apparently endured.

[SanguineShark]

Recently during an argument with my aunt, she told me that when I was a newborn, my mom kicked the stroller I was in so hard that I fell out of it on the floor. I was aware of this somewhat, but it's different when a grandma tells you something similar happening, and when another person in your family tells it to you. I also am pretty sure I had to endure a lot of screaming and yelling ever since I was born, as not only is my mom not a patient person and tends to be aggressive (as you can probably see), but both my parents hated each other.
I don't really know what to do with this information, but it somehow just... hurts? Part of me tells me that I must have deserved it, but another kind of feel sorry for me.. sorry for this child who was helpless and didn't choose to be born.
I guess I just want some comfort, if anyone here even wants to provide that to me, it's not like I deserve any comfort, I'm me after all.. I probably deserved worse.

 

[neverLoved]

No one deserves that, especially not an innocent child. I can somewhat relate with finding things you didn't actively think about or know. I have been physically abused a good amount of times when I was a kid(0-10). It has never crossed my mind until someone mentioned it to me, even then I have a hard time remembering anything. My whole life is a huge coping mechanism .

 

[SanguineShark]

No one deserves that, especially not an innocent child. I can somewhat relate with finding things you didn't actively think about or know. I have been physically abused a good amount of times when I was a kid(0-10). It has never crossed my mind until someone mentioned it to me, even then I have a hard time remembering anything. My whole life is a huge coping mechanism .

Thank you, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I can relate as now I battle with BPD, and it's all because both of my parents abused me. I'm struggling to keep going, and I consider suicide daily.