Discarded, Lied to, Manipulated

[adz22]

You hear all these stories about manipulative people and cheaters but you could never imagine it could happen to you.
I girl I loved lied to me, then projected all her flaws onto me. Lied about me to her family and friends. She turned me against my own friends. And I trusted her. I thought she was my person. But the second I needed her, she's gone.
I feel like such an idiot becuase I reacted, and now she's just playing the victim. Even though I know everything she's said is not true, I'm questioning my own reality and sanity.
I've let this drive me crazy for months now. I've let it affect my work, my family and my social life. I simply can't function anymore and I have no idea what's real or not. I feel like I'm making terrible choices and ruining my life. I want to just forget about her but I have no idea if this perfect person was even real. I can't figure out if I've lost someone special or dodged a bullet

 

[Sleeper System]

Dodged a bullet, obviously. You can tell by the negative impact it's having. That relationship is not meant to be. Some people find "their person" after the 3 or 4th person they thought was "their person". It doesn't always happen the first or second time. You need to completely remove that chick from your life and focus on your goals.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Dodged a bullet, obviously. You can tell by the negative impact it's having. That relationship is not meant to be. Some people find "their person" after the 3 or 4th person they thought was "their person". It doesn't always happen the first or second time. You need to completely remove that chick from your life and focus on your goals.

It doesn't even always happen after the 10th person, either. Sometimes it never happens.

 

[Sleeper System]

It doesn't even always happen after the 10th person, either. Sometimes it never happens.

Yup. You either look and find. Look and not find. Or never look at all.
Your choice how you want to go about your goals.

 

[comfortblanket]

I'm so sorry you're having this experience. I don't want to make assumptions about your dynamic, but the way it sounds like this person is isolating you/turning you against friends and family sounds a lot like emotional abuse to me.

Dreamer is right, you absolutely dodged a bullet, but I know it doesn't feel that way right now.

The questioning of your sanity sounds like you've been gaslit a lot, and you didn't deserve that. I know it hurts right now, but in time you'll be able to see more clearly. In the meantime I'd recommend strong boundaries with them, if you're able to cutting them out completely even to allow yourself to hear your own thoughts, and trying to explain your side to the relationships you value that have been damaged.

I'm really rooting for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be unbearable being in that situation and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best.

 

[Danjor88]

This is why I'm here. Manipulative people have personality disorders like Bipolar personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder, they get inside your head, change your thinking and self image, isolate you from other people, then devalue you, before discarding you.

And you end up all alone, wondering WTF just happened and having no clue how to pick up the pieces.

You have my sympathies.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

My (almost) entire family turning against my mom and I after beleiving 30+ years that these people would always be there for me pretty much gave me an extistential crisis. My life has two lives. The life Before That Day. And the life After That Day.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Just a thought but, she might have been a Narcissist. I dealt with one a few years ago, it was terrible. Gaslighting, lying, cheating, manipulating. UGH he messed me up worse than I already was.

 

[magicalsarcoma]

People are often not so good. For some reason, it seems to me that finding someone you can love is often easier than restoring your nerves after interacting with unpleasant dudes. And in general, it's better to be alone than with motherfuckers. Because being with motherfuckers is like drinking poison when you feel thirsty.
I don't know how right i am, but i wish you the best. I wish you recovery

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yup. You either look and find. Look and not find. Or never look at all.
Your choice how you want to go about your goals.

Yeah, that about sums it up. Some of us look and don't find and just eventually give up.

 

[comfortblanket]

This is why I'm here. Manipulative people have personality disorders like Bipolar personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder, they get inside your head, change your thinking and self image, isolate you from other people, then devalue you, before discarding you.

And you end up all alone, wondering WTF just happened and having no clue how to pick up the pieces.

You have my sympathies.

Exactly.

And that feeling of being discarded, at least for me, leads to even more self judgement and anger for allowing myself to be so deceived.

You have my sympathies as well, it sounds like you had some personal experience. I'm sorry. None of us deserved that.

 

[honir]

A close friend of mine recently just passed. She hired a hitman on herself. She will always be remembered as a loveable person and exactly the opposite of the narcissist who manipulated you.
I have encountered manipulative people before but since emotions are not involved, I am able to dismiss them.
Now, I kinda think hitmen should be present for these kind of manipulative and narcissistic people who do not deserve to live among us.

 

[hellispink]

I can relate. My abusive ex was very manipulative and he would impulsively lie about everything. It could be something simple such as a favorite color. There is people out there that really lack empathy and affective responsibility. They indeed do not understand that their actions could destroy someone stability and emotional being. The worst is they will never acknowledge or held accountable for it, but I guess they pay their dues by losing those that truly appreciated them.

 

[alwaysSuffering]

I can relate. My abusive ex was very manipulative and he would impulsively lie about everything. It could be something simple such as a favorite color. There is people out there that really lack empathy and affective responsibility. They indeed do not understand that their actions could destroy someone stability and emotional being. The worst is they will never acknowledge or held accountable for it, but I guess they pay their dues by losing those that truly appreciated them.

Going through this exact thing right now. The total lack of accountability, refusal to acknowledge his behavior, manipulating, twisting everything around, playing the victim, no empathy whatsoever, throwing a pity party for himself when he's the one who did something wrong. It's unreal seeing how these people behave. 100% self centered.