Method Diphen cocktail - Thoughts??

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

I know there are tons of naysayers regarding a diphenhydramine OD but hear me out....

I weigh 125lbs so almost 57kg
This means that 4g of diphen should do the trick.

Because I already battle with anorexia my metabolism sucks so I need an option that won't take forever to get into my system so I was thinking about using ZzzQuil as my method instead of Benadryl because is the active ingredient in both, but ZzzQuil comes in an okay tasting liquid and liquid gel caps - which I think kick in faster than standard pills.
I worry about my ability to swallow 4g worth of 25mg pills so I was thinking about combining the two, using the liquid to wash down the pills..

ZzzQuil liquid is 50mg per 30ml - 24oz bottle
1 bottle = ~709ml = ~1.18g
ZzzQuil gel caps are 25mg per pill - 48 pack
3 packs = 144 25mg pills = 3.6g
Totaling: ~4.78g of Diphen

I also have a little bit of benzodiazepines to help me fall asleep quickly to reduce the chances of hallucinations (which shouldn't be a problem with as high of a dose as I'm taking but just to be safe)

24 - .5mg Klonopin
1 - 2mg Valium
1 - .5mg Xanax
Totaling: 12.5mg of benzos
(I know this isn't much but I have zero tolerance for these and they are all I have)

Might be able to get a little barbital
Trying to get a Meto script from my dr

Plan:
Start taking the Meto regimen 2 days before
Fast 5 hours (probably more knowing me)
Take the stat does of Meto
Take the Benzos 50 minutes later
Take the zquil pills with the liquid 10 minutes later
Sleep indefinitely.

As I have zero personal experience with any of the components of this cocktail, I was hoping someone who does could tell me if I'm missing something or miscalculated something or has any insight on the method.

Thank you <3

 

[jgm63]

Have you researched other methods ?
Have you looked into SN ?

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

Have you researched other methods ?
Have you looked into SN ?

I have looked into SN but decided against it based on the cyanosis and the discoloration.
I live with my sister and niece so on the off chance the kid comes in my room first, I want it to look like I'm just asleep. I will have plenty of time for the method to take effect, but would really prefer not scarring a five year old if she just so happens to come in once the deed is done.

 

[jgm63]

I have looked into SN but decided against it based on the cyanosis and the discoloration.
I live with my sister and niece so on the off chance the kid comes in my room first, I want it to look like I'm just asleep. I will have plenty of time for the method to take effect, but would really prefer not scarring a five year old if she just so happens to come in once the deed is done.

Well only you know all the specifics of your situation.
Would you not be able to go out and get a hotel room for one night ?

Have you weighed up the chances of your method succeeding / failing ?
I still think you should go with SN, but it's your choice of course.

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

Well only you know all the specifics of your situation.
Would you not be able to go out and get a hotel room for one night ?

Have you weighed up the chances of your method succeeding / failing ?
I still think you should go with SN, but it's your choice of course.

Possibly. I did consider SN for a little bit but I don't have much money and can only do SN with Meto so then I would have to buy that and a room, IF I can get a prescription from my doctor. I'm in the US so it's either that or online which is more expensive.

It's not off the table by any means, just looking for more easily attainable method.

CO has always been my number one but with my situation I have no idea how I would pull that off. Lol.

Also considered Yew Tree tincture but am nervous about the reliability of something I have to brew myself.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I've never heard of Diphen. What is it?

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

I've never heard of Diphen. What is it?

Diphenhydramine
It's the antihistamine in things like Benadryl, if you are in the US.
Im sorry I dk what it would be called in other countries... /:

Definitely not a popular method at all as you have to take a lot and there is the potential of tons of side effects, but it's 100% doable.
And I'm hoping I can skip ALL of the side effects with the other meds I intend on taking as well as the high dosage.

 

[jgm63]

SN + meto don't tend to be overly expensive, although it is if you don't have the money for it, and each person's situation is different...

Could you find a cheaper room somehow, or skip on the getting a room part ?

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

SN + meto don't tend to be overly expensive, although it is if you don't have the money for it, and each person's situation is different...

Could you find a cheaper room somehow, or skip on the getting a room part ?

For SN I would need a room for sure.
I need to go back over the numbers and see how much I would actually need for this method.

 

[maybeimalreadydead]

My diphen attempt (with a combo of some antidepressants) left me in the ICU for two weeks having extreme scary hallucinations and then it severely damaged my memory long term. It was a dumb attempt on my part. Most of my memory is wiped and I feel dumb most days. I don't remember much of the event except some blips. Just thought I'd share although I can't say much about your combo. GL

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

My diphen attempt (with a combo of some antidepressants) left me in the ICU for two weeks having extreme scary hallucinations and then it severely damaged my memory long term. It was a dumb attempt on my part. Most of my memory is wiped and I feel dumb most days. I don't remember much of the event except some blips. Just thought I'd share although I can't say much about your combo. GL

oh goodness. How much did you take?

 

[Sweet emotion]

Diphenhydramine
It's the antihistamine in things like Benadryl, if you are in the US.
Im sorry I dk what it would be called in other countries... /:

Definitely not a popular method at all as you have to take a lot and there is the potential of tons of side effects, but it's 100% doable.
And I'm hoping I can skip ALL of the side effects with the other meds I intend on taking as well as the high dosage.

Oh! I take Benadryl all the time. I mix it with my Xanax to go to sleep. Can you believe even Benadryl gives you withdrawals? I plan on going out with pills too but I have a ton since I have a very severe pain condition called Complex regional pain syndrome. It's actually known as the suicide disease because it's a neuropathic condition and doesn't repsond to treatment the way other kinds of pain respond. I've had it for over 14 years. I got it at 20 and that is when my life stopped. I have over 17,000 mgs of morphine ER, over 800 mgs of Xanax and Klonopin, over 800 mgs of percocet, and of course you have to take anti nausea meds two days before you are ready to go. Every 6-8 hours. Then I was told by a doctor who tells people how to end their lives, grind them all up. It's good I have morphine ER because it's extended release. You're not supposed to crush them because instead of the pill just giving your body a little medicine every so often throughout the day it's just going to hit you like a truck. So I will grind them all up. Put them in pudding, eat it and go lie down. Oh yeah I also have muscle relaxers. I really think it will work because due to the FDA and the CDC doctors are lowering pain patients off their pain meds. So I am nowhere near the amount I was taking before. And few nights ago I was in so much pain that I took extra. I've been saving them up for over a year now because I kbew my time was going to come. I would save a pill from the morning which I was supposed to take and they added up nicely. Do anyway when I took more I actually felt my heart start to slow down. It felt awful but that is what the Xanax and Klonopin are for. So you don't feel your heart shutting down. I'm going to call the doctor one more time and let him know how much I have because the last time I talked to him was three years ago. He helped my good friend who had the same condition I do pass away peacefully. Although she had something that I would love to get my hands on which is seconal. Really powerful sedative. And she had fentanyl patches that she saved up and put them all over her body. Nothing really works for this condition and there is no awareness about it. Doctors don't even know about it and I'm a rare patient because I have it in the ears face and head. It's really a limb condition but it can travel anywhere. If it goes to an organ you die. I keep praying for that. I know this sounds awful but I pray for cancer so I can refuse treatment and just die. That's how bad the pain is. If I didn't have it I wouldn't believe it. I'm sorry I wrote so much. I guess I needed to vent.

But I also wanted to tell you that what you are taking doesn't seem like enough to end your life. Like the cold medicine and stuff. And 12.5 mgs of benzos is nothing. I used to take that many in one night. I know you're not like me with pills and haven't built up a tolerance but I just don't think this is going to do it. I feel awful saying this to you. I would ask some other people. I'd hate for you to do this and be found or have abotched attempt. Take it slow. Do a lot of research on all different kinds of methods. But I can totally understand about wanting to take pills because I can imagine it's the most paceful way to go. I just don't think you have anything strong enough. You really need strong pain pills. I'm just worried about you because I've read people who have had botched attempts and have taken way more than you're planning on taking. They slept for a few days and then woke up. Just worried for you.

 

[anchored_astronaut]

Personally, what turned me off of an extra large Benadryl cocktail when I was considering that method was the potential for seizures. I don't live alone and so I was too worried about any thrashing about during a fit alerting my family to what was up.

I also have further complications like that I take 150mg+ of the stuff every night so I can sleep and would thus have to take into account my tolerance.

Because of that experience, though, I also know that for me, larger doses pretty rapidly cause some degree of paralysis so I worry that I wouldn't be able to finish the necessary dose, or that I would forget to place something I'd want (music, a particular pillow, whatever) near enough to reach without moving my legs and end up dying disappointed. I'm very forgetful, especially in important situations, because I get distracted by the fear of messing it up and end up actually messing it up. Plus, if I take too much, my short term memory is nonexistent for several hours so I have no idea how I'd manage to keep track of how much I'd taken. It feels like my memory is wiped of any clear details with every blink of my eyes.

And while it has a dramatic effect on me physically, it doesn't do much for me mentally but derail my trains of thought. I'd want something more euphoric.

Ultimitaley the decision to end your life and how to do it are entirely your own, though- nobody knows you or your situation better than you.

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

Personally, what turned me off of an extra large Benadryl cocktail when I was considering that method was the potential for seizures. I don't live alone and so I was too worried about any thrashing about during a fit alerting my family to what was up.

I also have further complications like that I take 150mg+ of the stuff every night so I can sleep and would thus have to take into account my tolerance.

Because of that experience, though, I also know that for me, larger doses pretty rapidly cause some degree of paralysis so I worry that I wouldn't be able to finish the necessary dose, or that I would forget to place something I'd want (music, a particular pillow, whatever) near enough to reach without moving my legs and end up dying disappointed. I'm very forgetful, especially in important situations, because I get distracted by the fear of messing it up and end up actually messing it up. Plus, if I take too much, my short term memory is nonexistent for several hours so I have no idea how I'd manage to keep track of how much I'd taken. It feels like my memory is wiped of any clear details with every blink of my eyes.

And while it has a dramatic effect on me physically, it doesn't do much for me mentally but derail my trains of thought. I'd want something more euphoric.

Ultimitaley the decision to end your life and how to do it are entirely your own, though- nobody knows you or your situation better than you.

I think the good thing about using klonopin is that it's also used for seizures... not sure if all benzos are...

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Personally, what turned me off of an extra large Benadryl cocktail when I was considering that method was the potential for seizures. I don't live alone and so I was too worried about any thrashing about during a fit alerting my family to what was up.

I also have further complications like that I take 150mg+ of the stuff every night so I can sleep and would thus have to take into account my tolerance.

Because of that experience, though, I also know that for me, larger doses pretty rapidly cause some degree of paralysis so I worry that I wouldn't be able to finish the necessary dose, or that I would forget to place something I'd want (music, a particular pillow, whatever) near enough to reach without moving my legs and end up dying disappointed. I'm very forgetful, especially in important situations, because I get distracted by the fear of messing it up and end up actually messing it up. Plus, if I take too much, my short term memory is nonexistent for several hours so I have no idea how I'd manage to keep track of how much I'd taken. It feels like my memory is wiped of any clear details with every blink of my eyes.

And while it has a dramatic effect on me physically, it doesn't do much for me mentally but derail my trains of thought. I'd want something more euphoric.

Ultimitaley the decision to end your life and how to do it are entirely your own, though- nobody knows you or your situation better than you.

Yeah the potential for seizures adds an extra level of difficulty especially for being found which either means you need to be alone or in a hotel room also alone. I am unsure about tolerance playing a factor for diphen specifically but that could definitely be an issue.

Yeah dying without all your creature comforts as you will could be terrible, knowing you missed out on your one last chance to have some pleasure/joy while being unable to change it. Although it is reassuring to an extent to hear that it blacks you out as well, kinda like getting a first hand account that reports are right.

I worry most about delirum causing me to be found or causing me to yell out and being heard/checked on. Other symptoms seems like they can be avoided through benzo use at least in overdoses but even then would depend on the benzo

I would have to say that a more euphoric method is preferred but when you lack those options I guess the euphoria comes from knowing what you're achieving and after you pass but I guess that depends on what you believe in for an after life.

You are exactly right though, this is a decision only OP can make. No one else can evaluate your situation but yourself and need to be content with your choice.

 

[SinisterKid]

Please stay on topic and refrain from being aggressive towards each other.

 

[anchored_astronaut]

I think the good thing about using klonopin is that it's also used for seizures... not sure if all benzos are...

ohhh, okay! i assumed the other drugs involved were just for relaxation

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

ohhh, okay! i assumed the other drugs involved were just for relaxation

Normally they are but klonopin has that added bonus. Also I don't recommend crushing the diphenhydramine pills, maybe the klonopin but not the diphen; way too much powder to add to anything to make it tolerable (know from experience), solid pills would be easier at least for the diphen. With the seizures from this method they're grand mal seizures so you'd be mentally unconscious during them but your body would just go about it's own thing. Heard you can damage/bite your tongue in seizures as a whole, is that legitimate thing or is that something we'd even need to worry about