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The secluded cabin idea seems possible. Abandoned buildings tend to be frequented by homeless people or partying teenagers if yu can get inside them- a hotel would be a lot better than this. A tent could work but peopel have been rescued in cars before- any place you can get to someone else can get to, so you can't count on a location being "secluded"- people are explorers naturally.
We'll have to see, butr one disadvantage is that some people have been rescued from hotels when people get up, stumble around, and make crashing noises- some people pass peaqcefully with this method and some don't. A secluded cabin sounds better but is not practical for most people.
I'll use SN
The car would be great, but I don't have a driver's license, although I can drive well enough. The chance of being stopped by the police is too big to worth it. Murphy's law never fails.
After my last attempt hotels are discarded. Now the tent might be a good idea. My initial idea was to go to an isolated place and ctb under some tree or something. Somewhere isolated enough that I will be found after several hours, but not too isolated that it will take many days to do so and not to make the work of those who will pick me up impossible.
IMO, CTB needs to be a selfish act. It is what it is. Having concern for others is admirable, but makes the already extremely difficult act of ctb nearly impossible. That's just my take. It's the last act one will do and, I think, to have any real chance of success, one has to really only be concerned about themselves to get to that end.
The problem is not the noise. I had no problems with it when I tried it. I don't think I would vomit either. I was feeling pretty safe taking metoclopramide and ondansetron for 48 hours. My biggest problem is this one that you mentioned: being able to be selfish. I have spent the last 9 months trying to stop caring what others think, but I have not been 100% successful. It's just part of me. To be honest I didn't think I would have any problems at the hotel, but I did. This is deeply rooted in me and I believe that the only way I will succeed ctb is if I can reconcile what I want with my limitations. Another problem that can be a big obstacle is that when I generated a lot of suspicion last time. Of course I didn't care about that at the time, I wouldn't have to deal with suspicion if I wasn't here anymore, but I didn't ctb and now I may face many obstacles due to suspicion. It needs to be something that can be done in one day and preferably something that doesn't need to be announced to anyone.
I can understand how that can be difficult. to be honest, I am coming from an entirely different place. I have no one. I mean, literally, no one, so I don't have any concern for others regarding my ctb. I guess that makes it easier for me. But, it's, also, one of the reasons I am ctb also. Kinda weird really. A blessing and a curse? But, I get it. If I had someone to be concerned about, if I really were intent on ctb, I know I wouldn't mention it to anybody. Hardly anything good can come of that. I think most of the time when people mention they want to ctb to someone, they really don't want to ctb; they're hoping for a lifeline. And there's nothing wrong with that. If someone doesn't want to die, or they're not ready to die, it makes no sense for them to go through with it. They should go live as best they can for as long as they can. One can always revisit ctb at a later time.
I feel very sad reading this. I hope you find peace and relief in your heart, however that may be. I agree with you about talking about ctb with other people. I know that all the people who think about it have their problems and motives and I am not saying in any way that they just want to get attention, but I have trouble finding any motive in talking about it. It seems pretty simple actually: Want CTB → Do what it takes to do it ( whether it be acquiring courage, acquiring what it takes to do it...) → CTB / Thinking about CTB → Talking about → Intervention → Not being able to CTB. Again, nothing wrong with that, people have their reasons for doing what they do. One thing I really object to is emotional blackmailing of people close to them, like "you'll regret it" or " you'll miss me". One thing is you want to ctb and another is you want people to suffer and regret as much as they can when you are gone. I don't know, like you said, you have to be selfish to ctb, but I don't think there is anything wrong with suppressing some selfish instincts for the sake of a more peaceful and guilt-free grief for the people who will be left.
This is exactly what made me give up. My biggest problem was that it was a big hotel and I had no idea how they were going to get me out. I was in the 3rd building on the 2nd floor so a lot of people would see my body pass them first thing in the morning, not to mention the elevators were relatively small and I had no idea how they were going to get me out of the 2nd floor. After it all passed I realized that the paramedics could use the fire escape and they probably have practice at this, but it doesn't change the fact that I would be a burden to the hotel and that I would forever be a trauma in the memory of the little children who would see my body the next morning. Maybe if I had been in a smaller hotel like a hostel I would have made it. I guess it really all depends on how much you care about all of this. I don't know how it works where you live, but I don't think any hotel will ask for any compensation for your family. I wouldn't want to ctb at home either for the exact same reasons. I don't think my parents deserve to see their son's dead body (even more knowing that SN makes the body kind of brown), go through the process of calling the ambulance, seeing the paramedics entering their son's room, going to the hospital with the hope that their son will survive... Anyway, I think losing your child is a big enough trauma. If I can prevent my parents from having one more trauma to deal with after I am gone then I will do it. Dealing with gossip in the neighborhood can also be a problem to avoid, as you said. To be honest with you, avoiding this trauma for my parents seemed a must for me when I first started thinking about CTB, but the more time goes by, the less I give a fuck. If I don't ctb at home I will do it out of respect for the person I was a few months ago and not exactly for what I care about today. I am thinking of some airbnb or something.
I've been reading about hotel ctbs on forums and the internet for the past few days and here are some of my findings. I've found some cozy looking hotels on Airbnb and other sites, but a lot of them appear to be private homes for rent (not sure about other areas). So I personally think that maybe a large hotel chain would be a relatively better choice. If you want a more comfortable room, you can consider choosing a large chain hotel with a higher star rating. Because large hotel chains suffer less than smaller or individual hotels and they seem to have ctb related insurance. In terms of trauma, I thought maybe we could figure out a way to notify the room ahead of time so the staff didn't have to witness the body directly. For example, I saw in the post that a friend suggested that a bed sheet can be used as a quilt, and a warning sign can be posted on it. Or it can be done in the bathroom, which is convenient for the cleaning staff to clean up. For me, I'm still more inclined to do it all in bed, so maybe I'll find a hotel with a separate living room and bedroom so I can put a warning on the bedroom door. Then put something like a tarp over the bed to keep things like post-mortem excrement from soiling the bed. CTB inevitably brings trauma to some people and events, but I think we can do what we can to minimize that trauma! (Too many words, so I used Google Translate to help me, please forgive me if I use strange words!)
I can't thank you enough for that. I was looking for smaller places and private homes but what you said really makes more sense. I don't know if you ever read these threads https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-already-at-the-hotel.103310/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-failed-to-kill-myself.103395/ , but I have been through this experience and I think the main reason I failed was that the emergency staircase was outside and very tight. There was no way for the paramedics to get me down there and not even the elevator. About traumas, I was quite worried at that moment, mainly because someone told me that ctb were not so common in hotels, but now that I can see more clearly I see that it was nonsense to be so worried (especially with the employees, who deal with scandalous people every day and generate many more problems for the hotel). The solution I found on the day with the help of the folks here on the forum was to put a chair facing the door with a note informing the staff not to enter and to call the authorities. I found it a great idea ctb in the bathroom. Of course it is much more dignified to ctb in a comfortable bed, but if being a burden to the cleaning people is too much of a problem for me at the time, ctb in the bathroom is really a good one. I totally agree with you about minimizing trauma. I will already be creating a lot of trauma for my parents and will do what is in my power to minimize trauma for other people. [A tip for the next time you're going to write a lot: use the translator DeepL because it lets you change words individually and the translation usually comes out better ;) ]
I don't think there's anything wrong with that, either, necessarily. It still comes down to being a very personal decision, at the right time, even knowing that in most cases (not mine) that, more than likely, someone in your life is going to be hurt and have to go through some grief. If one thinks there is going to be any question left on the minds of loved ones regarding guilt about one's death, certainly one should do something to try and assuage that guilt as best as possible, be it with a note or something.
