This person is all of 18 years old (if that) and apparently still in high school, and I'm seeing replies that could easily be interpreted--even by OP--as AIDING and encouraging them to CTB over exams. SMH. This is the EXACT thing that gives the site a bad name and makes some want to close it down, even going so far as to be attempting to pass laws that are (of course) going to have additional effects on other things besides this site.
I had AP and SAT exams coming up, and I had 5 months to study. But for some unknown reason, I was lazy and did not study at all for these 5 months. I don't know why I did not study. I don't have ADHD or depression and I know this because I was tested for these.
My mom found out that I did not study, so she canceled most of the exams, except AP Physics 1 and AP Calculus BC. She expects me to get at least a 3 on physics and 4 on calculus, or else she said she will be very dissapointed.
These exams were the chance to prove that I can study, after 3 years of lying and not studying. But because I did not study, I don't feel like I can study for anything. I can't study for college or a skilled trade. In fact I still cannot study properly.
I feel like a total loser. I am going to decide how I will ctb by this week. Maybe hanging will work, if the stupid rope doesn't rip off like the last attempt.
@fisbp... High school and that entire exam situation are very stressful, and not just for you. Your mother is definitely on your side here, at least compared to other situations I have witnessed. What I see from the outside looking in is NOT that you are stupid and cannot learn. And I'm pretty sure if you look at this more objectively you will see that you aren't. You're taking AP classes. You're in BC calc, and apparently you're doing well enough in the classes that someone thinks 3 and 4 are reasonable (i.e., you're not failing, you're doing okay in school right now).
What I'm saying is please give yourself a break here, just as you would do for any of your friends or anyone you care about.
So what are the actual problems here? As I see them from the outside (and if you were my child or student) I would describe the problem as this:
1) You don't have good study skills.
2) You don't have good habits.
3) Possibly an issue with self-motivation or self-discipline... something in that general life category which is VERY COMMON, especially for young people.
Guess what? All of these are skills that can be learned. In fact, they generally have to be learned. Not many people come by these things naturally. [A very few people have these things naturally, and some people pick them up being around others who already have these characteristics.]
In fact, I have found that very many actual smart (even brilliant) people do NOT have these characteristics, because their intelligence make them able to get through the day to day grind without them. That is, the smart people are able to "get by" up until a certain point where being smart is no longer enough on its own. And you are now at that point. I'm sorry about that. But high school is actually a good time to have this happen rather than finding out about it at college or after graduation from college.
So. First of all, this is NOT your fault. Somehow you slipped through the system up until now without being taught these things. [Someone might have tried but you missed it.] You can learn these things now! Possibly you're correct that it is too late for you to be able to get a 3 and a 4 on these two AP tests. Well, that might work out for the best, to be honest. You'll just have to take calc and physics in college, and you will be able to kick ass in those classes because you already KNOW the material, or at least it is familiar to you. This will keep your GPA up in the beginning at least.
What I would recommend is that you ask your mother (now) to help you find outside training or classes (or maybe a therapist) that will help you with study skills and getting organized, and from there set up some good habits. If you can learn this NOW, college will go better for you and life will go better for you. I am POSITIVE that you can learn these things, and especially if someone works with you one on one.
Just to let you know, when it comes to this particular stuff, if someone is teaching you these skills, and you are trying very hard but feel you aren't learning it, it is the TEACHER who is at fault, not you. [Some people blame themselves.] A good teacher will be able to work around your strong suits and help you compensate for where you are weak. Also, this is where some people find out they have an additional issue such as ADHD holding them back. If you have that type of issue, there is also help for that (not just drugs, but people who are familiar with the teaching/learning methods that work best).
PLEASE do not CTB over this. There are other solutions that you have not yet attempted. And your life is very much not ruined. You're actually at a very natural and common turning point, and you have a real chance to do well after this or even excel.
