Discussion Did you 'reach out'? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

Everyone is told to reach out but, how many of us have? Thought it would be interesting to do a poll...

I suppose any form is valid- to helplines, therapists, friends, family. Were you explicit that you were suicidal and needed help? Was their response helpful?

I suppose to some extent, I'd like to debunk the whole- 'There weren't any signs. Why didn't they say something or, reach out?' I imagine many of us have to some degree.

 

[BlazingBob]

I've tried reaching out. Nobody gives a

 

[Ash]

It depends. Friends, family and neighbours will say there weren't any signs as I mask in front of them and with a few exceptions, have never told any of them. But the local mental health teams, my GP surgery, police, hospitals, helplines etc are all fully aware of my thoughts and past attempts. So it's not as clear cut as the the opening post implies, hence the surprise expressed by so many people who are often deliberately kept in the dark by the person who then goes on to die by suicide.

 

[EyesOfNight]

Multiple times.
First time was to a friend and I asked them to record me throwing myself under a train because we were fascinated by liveleak at the time and I wanted to contribute. They refused and gave me a weird look.
Second time to a friend group because I didn't see a way forward and concluded that need to CTB. The reaction was them getting uncomfortable.
Other than that to therapists and similar however every time I told them I got increasingly careful because the reaction was always to try to imprison me.

 

[real human being]

Yeah. It didn't help.

 

[lovedread]

Chatted on a hotline, tried to get a therapist (/:) and vented to ppl on here and discord about my si sooo yeah! Venting on here has by far been the most helpful…

 

[helllcreator]

Telling family about my CTB has probably been a mistake. Constant guilt trips has been absolute torment to deal with.

I told them as a sorta forewarning I guess, not as a reach out for help but that yea I'm gonna try again and not fail. I'm not doing this shit anymore.

 

[iloverachel]

Yeah, but doesn't make much difference. Still want to die more than ever

 

[JKFleck]

Did and got treated like trash, not doing it again

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, why would I reach out? My suicidal ideation isn't irrational and I don't want to bother listening to people who are indoctrinated by society to believe that wanting death, no matter what, is irrational. That would just make my life worse rather than better. Telling them about my desire for death comes with no benefits at all but it does come with a lot of disadvantages

 

[4am]

yes i reached out (to a chemical supplier to buy sn)

 

[piddincir]

My wife had mentioned a few things in the month leading up to her suicide that I knew where red flags but I talked to her about it and how serious she was but she said she wasn't . She never mentioned it to her therapist either (or what little she could tell me give doctor patient confidentiality)

I mentioned it to both my brother and my mother, who are both psychologists and it ended up with me being sectioned and put into a psych ward for 3 days.

Same with friends they're tired of hearing it and keep telling me it will get better.

I would never mention anything about this to either my psychiatrist or psychologist for fear or ending up in the psych ward again . I asked them both straight up what I could and couldn't not mention and where their duty of intervention starts.

I told my family it's my life to do with what I want and as reluctant as they are to hear it they have come to respect that decision however hard it is for them to accept they at least now understand and would never have me sectioned again

 

[Little_Suzy]

Everyone is told to reach out but, how many of us have? Thought it would be interesting to do a poll...

I suppose any form is valid- to helplines, therapists, friends, family. Were you explicit that you were suicidal and needed help? Was their response helpful?

I suppose to some extent, I'd like to debunk the whole- 'There weren't any signs. Why didn't they say something or, reach out?' I imagine many of us have to some degree.

You want to commit suicide; what are you expecting people to do with that information?

Could you create a new poll so we can see the actual outcomes of "reaching out"?

1) What kind of help did you receive that prevented you from ending your life?

2) If you did not receive help from those you reached out to, what prevented you from ending your life?

3) What was your relationship to the people you "reached out" to?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think I've told too many people too much but getting them used to and annoyed by my suicidal ideation is a small part of my plan to acclimate them to my eventual suicide.

 

[fleetingnight]

I did years ago. I eventually started lying and saying I was doing better. I haven't spoken about it outside of hotlines and anonymous websites for years since.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

If i tell anyone my intentions they'll try to stop me,i've told friends online but i don't even think they believe I'm serious tbf given my history of suicidal tendencies but i've never been more certain of my self about this

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Some close people know that I have suicidal thoughts ( and probably have means to do it) but their reactions don't help in any way. I'm in the lucky position to know why I have suicidal thoughts but the ones who know about them due to me reaching out cannot change the circumstances and factors that are causing them.

From this point of view it's useless.

 

[JKFleck]

I stinking can't be vulnerable or open up with anyone, I always get yelled back at or will get calling the police/hospitalization threats

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You want to commit suicide; what are you expecting people to do with that information?

Could you create a new poll so we can see the actual outcomes of "reaching out"?

1) What kind of help did you receive that prevented you from ending your life?

2) If you did not receive help from those you reached out to, what prevented you from ending your life?

3) What was your relationship to the people you "reached out" to?

This sounds very interesting. Y don' t u start this thread? I think it will lead to more of a discussion than a poll.

 

[rozeske]

Well, I haven't disclosed my decision to kill myself per se, but does it count when everyone seems to have come to the realization on their own. I never told anyone I need help though. There was a time where I needed it and at that time I have said it, loud and clear. Although they all seemed to be in deep sleep then. Now that everyone has startled awake, looks like i am the one seeking my ethernal sleep.

 

[hadenough58]

My doctor knows I have had a failed attempt years ago but whenever we are speaking about how I am or feel she does everything not to mention the "Suicide" word even though she knows I think about it and indeed see it as a constant battle to find reasons not too.
It is almost as if she believes if we do not talk about it then it is not a problem which I find strange and a little funny for a health professional?

 

[ChildOfLove]

I have told my only friend that I am going to ctb soon, and that's about it. When I was younger I had many opportunities to tell people (teachers) of the physical and psychological abuse I had to endure at home and of the fact that I had attempted suicide and was planning on doing it again, but I couldn't bring myself to speak up about it.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I told everyone, my father, my sister, my boyfriend, suicide hotlines, the crisis team, the mental health team, my psychologist.

Was never threatened to be sanctioned, it just didn't help that much. The most helpful people were my boyfriend, who was incredibly caring and made me feel loved, and my psychologist.

The least helpful were the crisis team where they made me feel worse. The suicide hotline just made me relive my whole life story and make me feel more certain that I wanted to ctb.

 

[Forever Sleep]

You want to commit suicide; what are you expecting people to do with that information?

Could you create a new poll so we can see the actual outcomes of "reaching out"?

1) What kind of help did you receive that prevented you from ending your life?

2) If you did not receive help from those you reached out to, what prevented you from ending your life?

3) What was your relationship to the people you "reached out" to?

Me personally? I only tend to tell people when I get the impression they feel the same way. I suppose when I do tell people, it's a relief to talk about it in the open but I suppose, I personally do it in the hopes of relating to someone about a common feeling. I don't think I'm exactly looking for help as such.

I just made the poll because I was curious, as I feel like it's a misconception that people don't reach out. But, if you think a more detailed poll would be interesting, I'd be interested to see the results.

 

[AsTheWorldCaves]

No doubt my friends and family would do everything they possibly could to stop me if they knew, which is why I have to be so careful. I'm constantly putting up a façade when I'm around them which is tough to maintain. I had thought about seeing a therapist, not so much to talk me down from it but more to help me deal with these emotions that I have to bottle up, but then I found this place which has honestly helped a lot.

 

[tpboy]

most of the people left around me now would prefer me to die so they can get my stuff.

 

[gantaigarashi]

I've only told my psychiatrist that I'm passively suicidal. Well it didn't help apart from he prescribing a benzo.

Atleast I have some benzos for my SN attempt

 

[angelcircuit]

I have been struggling with suicidal ideation since I was nine (to my knowledge). It was a mistake telling my parents, they used it as crutches for arguments and discipline and abuse all my life. I don't think they ever took me seriously because all they've known me to do is to hurt myself and nothing much past that.

// But also honestly I don't know what they could do to help me anyway,,, I'm practically popped bubble wrap. If they took me seriously, what then? Another hospital trip? More medication? More coping? The effort of living seems to outweigh the effort of just quitting while you're ahead.

 

[Meteora]

I ve reached out so many times to both health care professionals and friends, family. People don't take it seriously and the fact that the don't care makes me even more depressed and more suicidal, obviously.

 

[fleshgarden]

a couple of months ago I overdosed in an attempt to call for help. I told the nurse at school the following day. it was stupid but I just really wanted someone to help me, it was my "final attempt" at getting help.. the guidance counselor came to talk to me as I waited at the nurse, my mom was called and they told me I'd have to go to a "special place" so we went there and I stayed in the waiting room for hours with my counselor because they were asking my mom questions. I was lead to the hospital and taken into the psychiatric ward. it was awful, and I don't know how I was okay with going to one in the first place. most of the patients were autistic or children and it was clear they shouldn't be there in the first place. I had to give them my clothes and belongings and change into green scrubs.. I had to wait in my barren and very cold room for people to evaluate me and check my heart. I cried a lot because I didn't want to be there so bad. my mom came in and we waited a very long time for my final evaluation to determine if I needed someone to assess me. she said I didn't even need a psychiatric assessment and I was free to go. I know I didn't want to stay, but it was honestly my last straw. I had a breakdown as I was leaving. I still can't believe they didn't see I needed someone to help me. I wanted it so bad. I don't know how they think they can see my brain just by talking to me for 4 minutes. just because I was friendly with her. I still feel like everything I've ever gone through was for nothing .. I've spent my entire life in hell to be told I didn't need help and I could go. when I came back I was told I wouldn't be home alone anymore and I was naive. in the end I just got people thinking I'm an idiot for hurting myself and no one even asked me why I felt the need to. I thought maybe I would be treated better but it's worse now that I can't be by myself. I don't know how people say they want you to ask for help, and then when I actually do, they treat me like this. so what am I supposed to do? screw every fucking body in the medical system

I guess I've also reached out to friends as well, but it's not the same. I've reached out so many times no one really cares anymore.. I'm a bit of an attention seeker when it comes to it I guess. so anywhere I go I don't get very much support.. I'm just.. annoying. I wish I could die so much
I do have a therapist. not really helpful at all to me. therapy is for when you don't know why you do things and you aren't aware of emotions. I've spent a lot of time assessing that so .. it's a waste of time. since the visit, I've had to go twice a week. it's stressful.