Discussion did the psych ward help you?

[bynd.spc]

so, i have been on this recovery road for over a year after my attempt, but it seems no matter how many meds combos i try, how many changes i try to make in my life, how many hours of therapy, i always return to being deeply miserable and wanting to die. my psychiatrist recommended that i check myself into the psych ward for like a couple of weeks, so that they can find me some meds that "actually" work and monitor me and everything.
so, in your experience, did this actually help? or am i just going to end up having to go to the mental hospital numerous times and nothing really changes on the long run?

 

[darksouls]

no, they treated me like a subhuman
I am brain-damaged from psych meds
and they made me fat

 

[vibri]

Maybe try IOP first? The psych ward was really just like jail to me... in IOP you can go home at the end of the day as long as you don't say you have an active suicide plan

 

[Rainork]

I'm kind of in a similar space to you right now and have been arguing with myself for a while about whether checking myself into psych is needed or will just make me worse, here are some of the arguments from each side in my crazy crowded mind.
Please bare in mind I'm in the UK and my experience comes from our NHS wards- I had a look at our private ones and from what I could see they're much more productive (with regular counselling, group sessions, scheduled activities etc) but as I haven't experienced them this list specifically refers to UK NHS psych wards.

For psych check in-
It will keep you safe.
You will be around people in a similar space (not all, but some) and so won't feel as alone in your headspace.
Regular meals prepared for you (honestly the thing I struggled to readjust to most previously was having to cook again after release)

Against psych check in-
You'll feel trapped and that could cause a worsening spiral (losing freedom can really f with your head).
Potential to lose your voice with regards to medications and be put on things you don't want to be on just to have to go through coming off and changing with GP after leaving psych.
You'll mostly just be bored and not actually get any active help (I cant talk for all wards, i just know this to be true of the ones near me, previous stay I sat with other patients playing games all day and that was basically all the went on every day)

Yeah, I know I'm heavily leaning towards not going but I'm also attempting recovery and am starting to lose control of my suicidal feelings and have felt it turning into actions and if I lose that control completely I don't know what I'll do- outpatient has always been completely useless for me and I think it's from a lack of resources in the UK.

 

[Carrot]

It did not help. It wasn't terrible, just boring and it did not help. You just exist there that's it.

It's not like when you get out things will magically are better.

 

[bynd.spc]

no, they treated me like a subhuman
I am brain-damaged from psych meds
and they made me fat

im so sorry to hear that
in my case i know ill be treated ok ish bc my psychiatrist also works at that psych ward, but i have already changed my meds like 5 times since december and i can feel the mental toll it takes, i honestly feel like im close to schizophrenia at times, so brain damage is also my fear
what exactly happened to you and how did u manage it?

Maybe try IOP first? The psych ward was really just like jail to me... in IOP you can go home at the end of the day as long as you don't say you have an active suicide plan

yeah i think i need a break from my usual structure in life, and going there would help change the picture
i do have 2 cats tho..

It did not help. It wasn't terrible, just boring and it did not help. You just exist there that's it.

It's not like when you get out things will magically are better.

exactly what im expecting but im hoping they would find a med combo that would make me a little better at least?

I'm kind of in a similar space to you right now and have been arguing with myself for a while about whether checking myself into psych is needed or will just make me worse, here are some of the arguments from each side in my crazy crowded mind.
Please bare in mind I'm in the UK and my experience comes from our NHS wards- I had a look at our private ones and from what I could see they're much more productive (with regular counselling, group sessions, scheduled activities etc) but as I haven't experienced them this list specifically refers to UK NHS psych wards.

For psych check in-
It will keep you safe.
You will be around people in a similar space (not all, but some) and so won't feel as alone in your headspace.
Regular meals prepared for you (honestly the thing I struggled to readjust to most previously was having to cook again after release)

Against psych check in-
You'll feel trapped and that could cause a worsening spiral (losing freedom can really f with your head).
Potential to lose your voice with regards to medications and be put on things you don't want to be on just to have to go through coming off and changing with GP after leaving psych.
You'll mostly just be bored and not actually get any active help (I cant talk for all wards, i just know this to be true of the ones near me, previous stay I sat with other patients playing games all day and that was basically all the went on every day)

Yeah, I know I'm heavily leaning towards not going but I'm also attempting recovery and am starting to lose control of my suicidal feelings and have felt it turning into actions and if I lose that control completely I don't know what I'll do- outpatient has always been completely useless for me and I think it's from a lack of resources in the UK.

thank u for this, im thinking maybe ill make some friends there and idk smoke and watch youtube all day. the thing is, id rather be bored than miserable and suicidal 24/7

 

[darksouls]

im so sorry to hear that
in my case i know ill be treated ok ish bc my psychiatrist also works at that psych ward, but i have already changed my meds like 5 times since december and i can feel the mental toll it takes, i honestly feel like im close to schizophrenia at times, so brain damage is also my fear
what exactly happened to you and how did u manage it?

yeah i think i need a break from my usual structure in life, and going there would help change the picture
i do have 2 cats tho..

exactly what im expecting but im hoping they would find a med combo that would make me a little better at least?

thank u for this, im thinking maybe ill make some friends there and idk smoke and watch youtube all day. the thing is, id rather be bored than miserable and suicidal 24/7

my brain damage isolates me, everything is difficult for me

 

[chillino]

Dont smoke. It only worsens your situation. I would go somewhere thats really trying to help you. Not a psychward

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Closed psych wards in my experience feel like prison and not much if any real therapeutic work ever happened there for me.
So I wouldnt advise anyone to go there...

Open ones where you can still try to experience a resemblance of a normal life on occasion can definitely help with stabilising, finding meds that work under close meshed medical surveillance which is often needed for more complex med combinations and when standard go-to medical treatments don't have the desired effect.
All of those come with the problem of it being a limited time artificial environment tho which doesn't really translate into most people's real life experience well. For me it mostly worked reasonably well while I was there but I couldn't really sustain the things that worked better when I was back on my own again. I'm still trying to find a solution for that considering I will try this approach again, also due to needing different medication, but thus far haven't.

 

[bynd.spc]

Closed psych wards in my experience feel like prison and not much if any real therapeutic work ever happened there for me.
So I wouldnt advise anyone to go there...

Open ones where you can still try to experience a resemblance of a normal life on occasion can definitely help with stabilising, finding meds that work under close meshed medical surveillance which is often needed for more complex med combinations and when standard go-to medical treatments don't have the desired effect.
All of those come with the problem of it being a limited time artificial environment tho which doesn't really translate into most people's real life experience well. For me it mostly worked reasonably well while I was there but I couldn't really sustain the things that worked better when I was back on my own again. I'm still trying to find a solution for that considering I will try this approach again, also due to needing different medication, but thus far haven't.

thanks for this. the one im about to go to is an open one, although it has a whole close community inside, its huge. the main reason my psychiatrist wants me to go there is for them to find me some meds that actually work and be under surveillance untile i stabilise, and i would also treat it as a break from everyday life. however i agree that the experience there does not really resemble real life so im expecting my anhedonia, deppression and anxiety to spike up again after im out, but maybe ill be able to handle it better, idk

 

[Ludath]

My personal experience? I self admitted into partial hospitalization and moved up to full when it was offered to me, hoping that the extra help would finally do something. In the end, it just showed me how much more broken than anyone else i am. Everyone there was supposedly like me. Everyone had horrible anxiety and depression, but no matter what i felt alone. I watched everyone else get help while feeling more and more unfixable each day. Maybe you're one of the people it can help. But for me, i don't ever want to go a hospital again. I'd rather catch the bus. It was the loneliest i have ever felt.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

the one im about to go to is an open one, although it has a whole close community inside, its huge. the main reason my psychiatrist wants me to go there is for them to find me some meds that actually work and be under surveillance untile i stabilise, and i would also treat it as a break from everyday life. however i agree that the experience there does not really resemble real life so im expecting my anhedonia, deppression and anxiety to spike up again after im out, but maybe ill be able to handle it better, idk

The 2 main problems I see with this are

1. you are changing 2 variables at once as it's – like mentioned before – a very different environment that you get put in. The impact of that to any certain individual seems to be varying depending on how extroverted someone is and other factors I can't quite name. But there is suddenly an abundance of more or less relatable people around you, way more than it would be in your normal day to day out of the mental health institution. That already changes so much, at least for someone like me (the extroverted kind). So in the end it can be hard to determine if your improved well-being is owed more to the new meds or the environmental change.
2. often the stay is not long enough to actually determine if the meds are having the desired effect as a lot of anti depressants (SSRI, SNRI etc.) can take weeks or even months to properly function. This obviously adds up in case several different medications are tried successively or even multiplied if several combinations have to be tried.

In the end you can only try for yourself and see if it works out, no one can reliably tell you if it will or won't since we are all individual cases which might both give you hope where others could find none and make things inherently more complicated at the same time.

 

[bynd.spc]

My personal experience? I self admitted into partial hospitalization and moved up to full when it was offered to me, hoping that the extra help would finally do something. In the end, it just showed me how much more broken than anyone else i am. Everyone there was supposedly like me. Everyone had horrible anxiety and depression, but no matter what i felt alone. I watched everyone else get help while feeling more and more unfixable each day. Maybe you're one of the people it can help. But for me, i don't ever want to go a hospital again. I'd rather catch the bus. It was the loneliness i have ever felt.

im really sorry to hear that, its one of of my fears too, although in my personal experience with all the treatments i got until now, they first work and in a couple of weeks i get resistance, so it might seem like im "fixed" and then i check out and its exactly the same

The 2 main problems I see with this are

1. you are changing 2 variables at once as it's – like mentioned before – a very different environment that you get put in. The impact of that to any certain individual seems to be varying depending on how extroverted someone is and other factors I can't quite name. But there is suddenly an abundance of more or less relatable people around you, way more than it would be in your normal day to day out of the mental health institution. That already changes so much, at least for someone like me (the extroverted kind). So in the end it can be hard to determine if your improved well-being is owed more to the new meds or the environmental change.
2. often the stay is not long enough to actually determine if the meds are having the desired effect as a lot of anti depressants (SSRI, SNRI etc.) can take weeks or even months to properly function. This obviously adds up in case several different medications are tried successively or even multiplied if several combinations have to be tried.

In the end you can only try for yourself and see if it works out, no one can reliably tell you if it will or won't since we are all individual cases which might both give you hope where others could find none and make things inherently more complicated at the same time.

well im really and introvert so environmental changes usually just give me anxiety, even if its with people i feel good around, so the first point might not be a problem for me. however, this was the main issue i also raised with my psychiatrist when she recommended that i check myself in, because i dont see how during my short 2-3 weeks stay there they can reliably find antidepressants that work, because how would they even see the full effects? but i guess anything is better than being non-functional and suicidal

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

well im really and introvert so environmental changes usually just give me anxiety, even if its with people i feel good around, so the first point might not be a problem for me. however, this was the main issue i also raised with my psychiatrist when she recommended that i check myself in, because i dont see how during my short 2-3 weeks stay there they can reliably find antidepressants that work, because how would they even see the full effects? but i guess anything is better than being non-functional and suicidal

I don't know what country you are in, I'm in Germany and usually these stays are more like 6-8 weeks, which I was referring to in my previous statement... maybe should have worded this out more precisely. Most SSRI or SNRI can take 2-3 months to take effect.
Here in Germany there isn't really anything apart from RPK (translates to rehabilitation of psychologically ill people) that goes on for months or even years that could provide at least a proper timeframe for these kinds of meds and the effectiveness for you personally to be seriously evaluated outside an ambulant setting. If that ambulant setting is not enough for you options like these might be the right ones to pursue. But all that really depends on your country, health care system etc.

If you need the stay simply as an intervention to not completely fall into apathy and suicidality it might still be a good idea regardless of all what I said before. Odds otherwise might be that you will attempt something stupid, survive and be put into the involuntary psych ward for some time which is not an experience I can recommend whatsoever from my own experience.