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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,620
Am so gutted that a new thing I found which was making my suicidal thoughts better also hurts my eyes (scopolamine). It gave me instant relief but also bloodshot sore eyes and enlarged pupils (mydriasis). I went for an eye test this AM and was advised not to take it, as that can increase risk of glaucoma. I stopped taking it maybe three days ago and my eyes are still sore and my suicidal thoughts are now back to plague me.

I feel so hopeless. I am pretty sure no medication is ever going to work, so it is just sitting with the constant suicidal thoughts as long as I can bear it. My main reason now is to save up enough money to send my family on holiday before I ctb. And to say that I tried bloody fucking everything.

Day 14 of 20 mg lexapro and the main thing it is doing is making me feel sick and upsetting my tummy. 52 days of Wellbrutin. That's 7 weeks. Got 10 more weeks to go before I can know if this will help at all.

What a load of shit they say when they say there is hope in medication.
 
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Reactions: LittleBlackCat, binturong, cgrtt.brns and 3 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,920
That must be so awful and tiring what you are going though, existence is just too cruel. But anyway I wish you the best.