DESPERATION

[torimandy]

Am I desperate? Not really, but maybe.

I was accused of it by a selfish bastard who won't share his life and thinks his dick is all anybody needs. Lets outline some simple truths.

1. I am a woman. I have known since I can remember I was born in the wrong body.

2. My transition, at least the physical aspect, is stalled due to financial constraints combined with societies misogyny and out right hate due to lack of understanding.

3. I am always alone due to that misunderstanding being rampant in the few communities I can support myself in.

4. As it seems I will be alone the rest of my life, I have vowed to make that period of time as short as possible.

5. I don't fuck around. When I make a vow to myself I carry it out.

6. As the holiday season, that I am always alone during, is the most depressing time for me I am giving myself a 2 month expiration date.(Can this change? Sure but it's doubtful)

So I may be desperate on a subconscious level hoping to find something I rationally know does not exist. i apologize if the desperation shows. I need to just stop searching for a savior and accept my fate by setting and exact date and making it happen.

To all that think this is irrational, please realize, at one time I was a top level business person responsible for many peoples welfare. What that experience taught me was that you can only control the variables that are yours to control. At this time of my life and in the slot society has placed me, this is the only variable I now control. Don't you dare judge unless you are willing to walk in my shoes.

 

[Meditation guide]

No one thinks a man with silicon boobies is a woman

Oh yes they do. I can tell you haven't seen the ones or the type I have.

 

[flower]

Dude, transitioning is a bit like psychiatric drugs, they dont work. Ignore for a minute societies's rejection and consider that these surgeries just dont work. They cant turn your body into a woman's, its not an issue of money or society, surgery is simply not that advanced.

this is such a disgusting thing to say. physically transitioning helps a lot of people with dysphoria.

 

[flower]

I cant post fully naked pics of trans people here, let me tell you no one would consider them as pornographic, more akin to gore.

It doesnt because they get disappointed that the surgery didnt work. They dont regret changing gender, they regret the surgical failure.

what's your source for this baseless claim? are you trans yourself? don't derail OP's thread with your awful opinions

 

[Meditation guide]

My source is photographs of trans surgery. They are porn gone wrong (gore). I wont post them, maybe link.

Geez give it a rest. It's hateful.

 

[botanormal]

No one thinks a man with silicon boobies is a woman

Your comments are pretty rude, despite what your opinion is there's no reason to degrade someone who's just looking for a place to vent. If she says she is a woman, she is a woman. Please be respectful of that, you come across as very harsh.

Am I desperate? Not really, but maybe.

I was accused of it by a selfish bastard who won't share his life and thinks his dick is all anybody needs. Lets outline some simple truths.

1. I am a woman. I have known since I can remember I was born in the wrong body.

2. My transition, at least the physical aspect, is stalled due to financial constraints combined with societies misogyny and out right hate due to lack of understanding.

3. I am always alone due to that misunderstanding being rampant in the few communities I can support myself in.

4. As it seems I will be alone the rest of my life, I have vowed to make that period of time as short as possible.

5. I don't fuck around. When I make a vow to myself I carry it out.

6. As the holiday season, that I am always alone during, is the most depressing time for me I am giving myself a 2 month expiration date.(Can this change? Sure but it's doubtful)

So I may be desperate on a subconscious level hoping to find something I rationally know does not exist. i apologize if the desperation shows. I need to just stop searching for a savior and accept my fate by setting and exact date and making it happen.

To all that think this is irrational, please realize, at one time I was a top level business person responsible for many peoples welfare. What that experience taught me was that you can only control the variables that are yours to control. At this time of my life and in the slot society has placed me, this is the only variable I now control. Don't you dare judge unless you are willing to walk in my shoes.

To OP, you are not irrational or desperate, you are going through something very difficult and it is okay to feel the way you do. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and I'm sorry you're going through something so painful. I truly wish for you to get what you need to feel at peace, and I am wishing you nothing but the best. Much love!

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm sorry you had to come here and be subjected to such cruel comments. I hope you find a group you can be happy with. I know it's possible for you.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

Dude, transitioning is a bit like psychiatric drugs, they dont work.

This entire statement very misleading and varies case by case.

No one thinks a man with silicon boobies is a woman

My source is photographs of trans surgery. They are porn gone wrong (gore). I wont post them, maybe link.

As @Meditation guide said you are dead wrong on this. Your source is porn, my source is real trans women I've met. The vast majority of people I saw assumed they're women and treated them as such. So did I.

Anyway, to the OP I'm sorry about what you're going through. I hope that you can find some support here. I hope that you will have the means to transition soon, and that you'll find some peace through all of this

 

[Astronomer]

My source is photographs of trans surgery. They are porn gone wrong (gore). I wont post them, maybe link.

 

[Astronomer]

Happy now dumbass?

Not really, you sick fuck.

You've just shown yourself to the forum to be sick & twisted person, with a clear hatred towards men transitioning.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Don't come posting on a trans thread if you're going to be transphobic.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Corraled, I really wish you hadn't posted that. You should have put in a spoiler.

 

[Meditation guide]

Being so rude on someone's thread who is discussing when they are going to ctb so disgusting it's beyond belief. Can't you show some common decency? This person is soon going to commit suicide. I have a lot of sympathy for her and what she is going through.

The photo shouldn't have been posted at all. It's not relevant to what the OP is talking about.

 

[Deleted member 23586]

Ok... Where do I even begin?

First I want to say to you love @torimandy that I completey understand your struggle. As a Black non binary trans woman I want you to know that you are very valid. Please do not listen to the ignorant (at best) transphobes. I find it funny how the same people that are on this site are the same ones that send half of trans community to the same place they are right now. I know it may hurt. I know it may will make you feel like shit even more. But I want to let you know that I got you ok? I won't let no one come for the trans babies if I see it. You have every right to post here, vent here, and you are welcomed to be FULLY who are you unapologetically. I hope that it gets better for you but if it doesn't I'm right here beside you each step of the way ok! You message me anytime you need or want to. Post on my profile, DM me, or chat me up ok? For anything you here? Even if it's about that new burger you always wanted to try. No matter how you you may think you its not worth mentioning, if you want to tell me, it's always worth mentioning ok? *warm warm hugs*


Now for this uninformed, entitled, "oh I know what Im talking about because I dont listen to science but I act like I do because of my own insecurities and self satisfaction ", fake concerning, loud and wrong (pick a fucking struggle, it's against the laws of nature to be ugly spirited, loud, and wrong for someone that relys on fake nature science), doesn't know literally anything about gender, brainwashed, colonized mind, hypocrite of a person named @Corraled.

It's really easy to just Google some things. I know you can't be that damn ignorant to think you really this damn smart. Gender is a spectrum. Trans women are women. If you think that that someone's gender is at the end of their genitalia, that's your problem to figure out and soul search. What we not gone do is have you run up in here trying to act like you someones professor of "I'm not really that smart" university. Especially when your understanding and Education started and stopped in 3rd grade. I suggest you take several seats before you get you feelings hurt. Especially when you don't know that there VARIOUS combinations of chromosomes that literally prove you wrong. There are intersex people. There more than two types of genitalia. And no, I won't give you the time of day to give you a damn source because I for one won't try to prove my gender, my life, or my sexuality to someone as if it's up to debate. Who are you to me? Nothing but a person on the internet that should be glad that I even gave this much air time since you. You wanted attention so damn bad. Here it is. So what I suggest you do, is take your bigotry else where because you will get your feelings hurt. I am not the one. You wanna think someone's crazy (you ableist empty water bottle), I'll show you crazy. I have the papers to prove it.

You're dismissed and you've been ignored. I suggest you block me back. That way youll have something in common with someone.

Anyways I'm so sorry that I had to waste precious time on a post that should've been nothing but love and support hun, but as you can see, there's so many of us that do support you. *super hugs*

Edit: also I saw the one that liked their post. You can get this work too. Hopefully none of us will have to be subjected to deal with that gain. And if they do, refer them back to this post and send them on their way.

 

[LonelyDude15]

@torimandy I can't imagine what the feeling of gender dysphoria must be like. I hope your able to find peace.

 

[Meditation guide]

This horrible set of comments of one hateful member should go under the topic of "cruel site members". Perfect example.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

This horrible set of comments of one hateful member should go under the topic of "cruel site members". Perfect example.

Been on the site since February and that might have been one of the most hateful and disgusting things I've seen on this site. Glad it was handled swiftly though.

 

[Astronomer]

Corraled, I really wish you hadn't posted that. You should have put in a spoiler.

Er no, it shouldn't even be in a spoiler either. He should not have posted that, why any one would post pictures like that on a website like this is shockingly depraved.

I am a straight male however,

Just remember there is brave members of this forum both male & female who are or considering transitioning whilst some if not most have suicidal feelings to go with that, but you get some vile person posting pictures like that, will make them doubt the journey of becoming their desired gender identity, let's just respect and support please.

No wonder most of this website is suicidal, where is the love?

 

[Huntfish34]

The love is here.... Sadly dumb fcks like that have to hang around and spread their Idiot opinions.

To OP-. I'm sorry you were subjected to all of that. I hope things get better for you,. In Due time.

 

[xLosthopex]

Why the fuck am I seeing blatant transphobia on a suicide forum when transphobia is literally something that kills so many people and causes many trans people to ctb in the first place?? I'm so sorry OP that there are such hateful and ignorant people on here, this should be a safe place for everyone. Can a mod please do something about this ??

 

[torimandy]

Oh yes they do. I can tell you haven't seen the ones or the type I have.

My boobs are natural 38 D. People are just jerks when they make assumptions.
So you have a bit of history, I transitioned 10 years ago. I am legally female in the state and federal governments eyes. That transition cost me my career and almost every job I have had since them. I was a successful business manager. I used to make near 6 figures. I was frozen out of my field and any field that would allow me to make decent money. Society sucks.

 

[peacechoice]

Ok... Where do I even begin?

First I want to say to you love @torimandy that I completey understand your struggle. As a Black non binary trans woman I want you to know that you are very valid. Please do not listen to the ignorant (at best) transphobes. I find it funny how the same people that are on this site are the same ones that send half of trans community to the same place they are right now. I know it may hurt. I know it may will make you feel like shit even more. But I want to let you know that I got you ok? I won't let no one come for the trans babies if I see it. You have every right to post here, vent here, and you are welcomed to be FULLY who are you unapologetically. I hope that it gets better for you but if it doesn't I'm right here beside you each step of the way ok! You message me anytime you need or want to. Post on my profile, DM me, or chat me up ok? For anything you here? Even if it's about that new burger you always wanted to try. No matter how you you may think you its not worth mentioning, if you want to tell me, it's always worth mentioning ok? *warm warm hugs*


Now for this uninformed, entitled, "oh I know what Im talking about because I dont listen to science but I act like I do because of my own insecurities and self satisfaction ", fake concerning, loud and wrong (pick a fucking struggle, it's against the laws of nature to be ugly spirited, loud, and wrong for someone that relys on fake nature science), doesn't know literally anything about gender, brainwashed, colonized mind, hypocrite of a person named @Corraled.

It's really easy to just Google some things. I know you can't be that damn ignorant to think you really this damn smart. Gender is a spectrum. Trans women are women. If you think that that someone's gender is at the end of their genitalia, that's your problem to figure out and soul search. What we not gone do is have you run up in here trying to act like you someones professor of "I'm not really that smart" university. Especially when your understanding and Education started and stopped in 3rd grade. I suggest you take several seats before you get you feelings hurt. Especially when you don't know that there VARIOUS combinations of chromosomes that literally prove you wrong. There are intersex people. There more than two types of genitalia. And no, I won't give you the time of day to give you a damn source because I for one won't try to prove my gender, my life, or my sexuality to someone as if it's up to debate. Who are you to me? Nothing but a person on the internet that should be glad that I even gave this much air time since you. You wanted attention so damn bad. Here it is. So what I suggest you do, is take your bigotry else where because you will get your feelings hurt. I am not the one. You wanna think someone's crazy (you ableist empty water bottle), I'll show you crazy. I have the papers to prove it.

You're dismissed and you've been ignored. I suggest you block me back. That way youll have something in common with someone.

Anyways I'm so sorry that I had to waste precious time on a post that should've been nothing but love and support hun, but as you can see, there's so many of us that do support you. *super hugs*

Edit: also I saw the one that liked their post. You can get this work too. Hopefully none of us will have to be subjected to deal with that gain. And if they do, refer them back to this post and send them on their way.

We will always support you. You are valid. Ignore the assholes that try to preach their idiotic agenda without concerning themselves for the actual human. Fuck you. Thank you for defending the trans community. You are so very much appreciated.

 

[_Kaira_]

With some of the threads here talking about cruel site members, at first I was confused. Because for the most part I've seen nothing but love and support from majority of members on SS. I suppose I'm just not online for most of the hate and trolling. But dang, that dude really did try hard to make OP feel wrong and insignificant. Truly, absolutely disgusting behavior. I am appalled at what some people are capable of doing, on a f*cking suicide forum of all places.

With that being said, the case was handled fairly swiftly. I just wish that guy just kept his nasty 'opinions' to himself.....

I'm sorry @torimandy you had to go through with being attacked here when you seemed to be just wanting to express yourself. Giving you all my love and support.