Help Desensitization and dodging survival instinct

[Aleandra Felix]

So, basically I'm having trouble getting ready to CTB. I read a very helpful article shared by another member saying that in order to succeed your attempt you need to be used to death. I've been trying to put myself in slightly dangerous situations, like walking around dangerous neighborhoods alone (when I leave my house, once in a blue moon) and staying out until late at night. Also, I've been watching a lot of violent videos, specially suicide by hanging (my chosen method). The problem with these videos is: I'm not feeling desensitized to death, I'm being stripped of empathy for the death of others. When it comes to my own end, survival instinct kicks in and I can't carry on.

Is there a better way to get ready? For those of you who have attempt, was there always SI or did any of you manage to overcome it?

 

[Soulless_Angel]

SI can be over come, I've said it before and will say it again SI is a bitch, but if you are ready and your mindset is right then it won't be an issue, to me, if SI is kicking in hard then its not your time, or you are not mentally ready.

How I over came it I won't explain in full detail, its personal to me, but lets just say my mind was in a dark place, I accepted my path and no fucks were given any more. (oh and a drink or two helped to!)

 

[CuddleHug]

I think you are going at it the wrong way. Please don't put yourself in dangerous situations like that!

The point of desensitization is to get used to the idea of letting go. I'm definitely no expert on the subject, but if your method is hanging, I'd say you basically have to practise over and over again until you overcome your survival instinct. Preferably you'd do it safely, so that you don't accidentally CTB, but close enough that you will be comfortable when it's time to do it for real.

Hugs~ <3

 

[Melkus2020]

It already screwed up my plans. I made a dumb decision to tell everyone my plans openly. Now I'm sure I just made suicide impossible.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

It already screwed up my plans. I made a dumb decision to tell everyone my plans openly. Now I'm sure I just made suicide impossible.

Nothings impossible, I will not write anything that can be deemed as encouraging your path, keep your head low though, play by society's rules and take it a day at a time,

 

[Melkus2020]

Nothings impossible, I will not write anything that can be deemed as encouraging your path, keep your head low though, play by society's rules and take it a day at a time,

Yeah okay. But the thing is I was expecting a package of SN from amazon and it could come at any time. They don't know my method but I'm concerned they will intercept it and take away my debit card.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Yeah okay. But the thing is I was expecting a package of SN from amazon and it could come at any time. They don't know my method but I'm concerned they will intercept it and take away my debit card.

How old are you? No one has rights to remove your property, hide your debit card for a start! do you have tracking for amazon, can you not redirect it?

 

[Melkus2020]

How old are you? No one has rights to remove your property, hide your debit card for a start! do you have tracking for amazon, can you not redirect it?

I haven't been using amazon lately and I don't know how.

 

[calendulo]

The problem with these videos is: I'm not feeling desensitized to death, I'm being stripped of empathy for the death of others. When it comes to my own end, survival instinct kicks in and I can't carry on.

Is there a better way to get ready? For those of you who have attempt, was there always SI or did any of you manage to overcome it?

I like this part.
Great thought, specific and categorical.
Surely If you think on that way you are a good person and a better human being.

 

[Melkus2020]

How old are you? No one has rights to remove your property, hide your debit card for a start! do you have tracking for amazon, can you not redirect it?

I'm 20 but still living at home.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I haven't been using amazon lately and I don't know how.

I have no idea how amazon works, that place scares me!

 

[Melkus2020]

I have no idea how amazon works, that place scares me!

Damn I'm screwed. I should've gone and bought SN in store!

 

[Mr2005]

So, basically I'm having trouble getting ready to CTB. I read a very helpful article shared by another member saying that in order to succeed your attempt you need to be used to death. I've been trying to put myself in slightly dangerous situations, like walking around dangerous neighborhoods alone (when I leave my house, once in a blue moon) and staying out until late at night. Also, I've been watching a lot of violent videos, specially suicide by hanging (my chosen method). The problem with these videos is: I'm not feeling desensitized to death, I'm being stripped of empathy for the death of others. When it comes to my own end, survival instinct kicks in and I can't carry on.

Is there a better way to get ready? For those of you who have attempt, was there always SI or did any of you manage to overcome it?

That's all watching that shit is going to do. I don't see how it helps anyone in anyway.