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Deleted member 23374

deministrator
Nov 1, 2020
648
wake up
why am i still here
check on mom and the house
take the dog out and make coffee
why the fuck am i here
put on the news, play cello
check on everything evry half hour or so
god why am i still here ?
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,796
Lie in bed all day when I'm off, self medicating myself to relax my mind. When work comes it's dreadful to do it, it's becoming increasingly difficult to put my uniform on. And of course I come for comfort with my family here.
 
RedRed

RedRed

Member
Oct 24, 2020
93
Well I wake up feeling tired first thing in the morning. After eating and bathing, I then multitask between school work and my part time job. And for the finishing touch, I sob. Usually almost everyday now. But I HATE it with a burning passion! Makes me tired and sleepy and I still have a lot to do. But that's about it! :)))
 
Gromit-CTB

Gromit-CTB

time for ctb
Nov 14, 2020
847
Wake up come on here go to sleep. Wake up come on here go to sleep. Wake up come on here go to sleep. Wake up come on here go to sleep. Groundhog Day. In next 48 hours hopefully will be, wake up come on here take my method go sleep...ctb
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Wake up, shower shave dressed, let dog out into garden pick up his morning log Wash hands make strong Coffee, put in hearing aid, stare at idiot box(TV) for a few hours, look on here to see what's new, Take Meds, take furry pest for run up park,back home, stare at idiot box a bit more then let dog out for evening dog stuff then bed, sleep, Wake up Repeat? Sad or what???
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
Before my failed CTB attempt:

-woke up in the morning, worked.
-got home, played some music and started drinking alcohol
-called up some girl I tended to know on Tinder
-kept drinking
-slept like a Snorlax
-During all these actions, I kept thinking of suicide and I wanted to die so, I finally tried to CTB an failed.

After my failed CTB attempt:

-Wake up 8am and study japanese:
-Have breakfast
-Talk to my therapist and psychiquiatrist
-Don't want to see neither girls nor my "friends" so I ignore messages
-Sit in front of my computer for ages and surf on websites like SS.
-My dad convinces me, and I go for a walk in order to get some fresh air and miraculously, lose some weight.
-Think of CTB again ALL THE TIME.
 
StringPuppet

StringPuppet

Lost
Oct 5, 2020
579
dale_asleep.png


that's about it
 
Yuki Tenuki

Yuki Tenuki

Member
Oct 30, 2020
58
○ Wake up (obviously from a nightmare in case I got some sleep).
○ Feel sick and tried.
○ Smoke a cigarette.
○ Take a shower.
○ Work (and smoke occasionally).
○ Eat lunch.
○ Work again.
○ Smoke again.
○ Come home and medicate myself (opiates, pills and weed).
○ Go to sleep. Wake up. Stay awake. Go to sleep. Wake up. Stay awake. Go to sleep. ...
...
Throughout all of this, I have rather strong suicidal thoughts (and I visit the forum from time to time).
 
WOODESITY

WOODESITY

Experienced
Mar 15, 2019
217
Wake up, smoke cigarettes, drink coffee or tea then lay down in my bed and get into my phone, listen music and play games, smoke cigarettes all day long, I'm too tired to work lately so I just stay home all day, sleep at night while listening to nature sounds or sleep meditation
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
Prepare to be vaporised by the awesomeness of my life.
Wake up. Watch TV. Maybe play videogames. Lie down. Maybe play videogames again. Lie down. Watch soaps. Watch Babylon 5. Eat something. Go onto YouTube. Spend time on SS. Go to sleep. Dream.
 
stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
Don't or only sleep 2 hours a night.
Get up and ready for work.
Work until noon.
Go grocery shopping.
Go outside for a quick walk.
Eat snack.
Go to bed and sleep until evening.
Mindlessly be on the internet and SS.
Eat main meal in the middle of the night.
Vibe to music.
Go back to bed until it's morning without sleeping.
 
OneMoreStep

OneMoreStep

Member
Dec 3, 2020
26
-Get woken up, check nothing was stolen and I clear my mat.

-go for a smoke

-break up a fight

-line up for breakfast and eat. Usually crowd together with my crew now.

-eat, break up fight, help all the people overdosing

-put name on shower list and wait until my turn. This is when I'll job hunt.

-shower with boiling water in a mobile shower

- go for a smoke and break up a fight after helping somebody who overdoses

-line up for lunch, eat, then hope the shit stall dont have people shooting up in them/ covered in shit blood piss, or both. It's usually both.

-help somebody who overdoses, then get some writing done. If I have booze I'll start drinking now

-follow up with social worker, follow up with doc, try and be productive, usually interrupted by a fight

-leave and hang out at the library or downtown mall to escape chaos for a couple hours.

-come back, 2 hours waiting to get in then line up for dinner.

-get into a fight but resolve it before hands are thrown because I'm big and usually intimidate or I'll verbally explain while still being threating, it ain't worth it.

- help somebody who overdoses

-if I'm drunk, I hang out with gang members that want me to politic with them. if I'm not drunk I hang out with calm people and observe. I turn a little ghetto when I drink in that environment lol

-line up to get a mat, break up fights.

-tie all my stuff to my arm, and take mental notes of who sleeps by me. I'll be nice to them to show I'm not sketchy either and they can sleep.

-break up fights, kick people out doing drugs by me, and try to sleep in literal zoo sounds.

-wake up every couple hours out of habit and make sure I have my stuff.

-get woken up and repeat.

That's the average of a day...but everyday is different so that's the best I can do.
 
Pookie

Pookie

Somebody you used to know.
Oct 18, 2020
1,051
Don't or only sleep 2 hours a night.
So you sleep more during the day than at night?
-Get woken up, check nothing was stolen and I clear my mat.

-go for a smoke

-break up a fight

-line up for breakfast and eat. Usually crowd together with my crew now.

-eat, break up fight, help all the people overdosing

-put name on shower list and wait until my turn. This is when I'll job hunt.

-shower with boiling water in a mobile shower

- go for a smoke and break up a fight after helping somebody who overdoses

-line up for lunch, eat, then hope the shit stall dont have people shooting up in them/ covered in shit blood piss, or both. It's usually both.

-help somebody who overdoses, then get some writing done. If I have booze I'll start drinking now

-follow up with social worker, follow up with doc, try and be productive, usually interrupted by a fight

-leave and hang out at the library or downtown mall to escape chaos for a couple hours.

-come back, 2 hours waiting to get in then line up for dinner.

-get into a fight but resolve it before hands are thrown because I'm big and usually intimidate or I'll verbally explain while still being threating, it ain't worth it.

- help somebody who overdoses

-if I'm drunk, I hang out with gang members that want me to politic with them. if I'm not drunk I hang out with calm people and observe. I turn a little ghetto when I drink in that environment lol

-line up to get a mat, break up fights.

-tie all my stuff to my arm, and take mental notes of who sleeps by me. I'll be nice to them to show I'm not sketchy either and they can sleep.

-break up fights, kick people out doing drugs by me, and try to sleep in literal zoo sounds.

-wake up every couple hours out of habit and make sure I have my stuff.

-get woken up and repeat.

That's the average of a day...but everyday is different so that's the best I can do.
Wow, that's quite a day!
 
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stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
So you sleep more during the day than at night?

Wow, that's quite a day!
Sadly it's the only time my body seems ready for sleep...tried not sleeping during the day for weeks but then I wouldn't sleep at night either. :(
 
Pookie

Pookie

Somebody you used to know.
Oct 18, 2020
1,051
Sadly it's the only time my body seems ready for sleep...tried not sleeping during the day for weeks but then I wouldn't sleep at night either. :(
Strange, I'm going through the same. I feel like a vampire.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,611
I live like a kid. Wake up, play video games, chat with family a bit over Skype or whatever, watch movies, eat pizza, j/o etc. I only rarely work when I feel like it. I don't even care though, I have a horrible undiagnosed medical condition and poor mental health so I just do what feels good.
 
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Weather

Weather

Student
Oct 18, 2020
152
I have a very dull, grown up schedule of getting up early, working (from home now, because of Covid), helping with kids' online school (Covid again), taking care of a family/household chores, and then staying up really late because it's the only time I can be alone and have quiet. Rinse. Repeat.
 
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Pookie

Pookie

Somebody you used to know.
Oct 18, 2020
1,051
I live like a kid. Wake up, play video games, chat with family a bit over Skype or whatever, watch movies, eat pizza, j/o etc. I only rarely work when I feel like it. I don't even care though, I have a horrible undiagnosed medical condition and poor mental health so I just do what feels good.
Sorry to hear you have an undiagnosed medical condition. What symptoms do you have?
 
wordsonscreen

wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
728
When I am at my best-
Wake up, meditate, food music, yoga/walk, work, nap, food, meditate, friends, therapy, art/dance, dinner, bedtime routine, meditate, sleep

Now-
Wake up, cry, sleep, work on my ctb list, panic attacks sprinkled all day, try to respond to a few people, cry, eat once every few days, watch tv to numb myself, sleep. I try to find as much joy as I can each day. I like coming on here and looking at birds and the snow.
 
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