Depleted

[angelicisight]

I have heard people talk of always being tired. A lot of that they link to things like iron deficiency, and I am starting to wonder about it from my own experience. My struggle really comes from a lack of ability to engage with life. Just somedays, I feel like I can't do it, and my mind is constantly spinning around trying to figure out how to do anything. What idea is going to inspire me long enough to go eat? When am I going to find something that gets me to take a shower? Where can I muster up the resolve to do my chores?

My life is always dealing with this struggle of not being able to engage with any type of work. I would say it feels like 20% of my uncommitted time is working, 70% is figuring out how to get myself to work, and 10% is enjoying the time off. It's like I can never get a break because I am always struggling to get myself to do the simple things. I can't engage with it.

Today, I woke up at 5:30 am. It took me an hour and a half to take a shower, and now I have been struggling these past three hours to get myself to go to Home Depot pick up water and some light bulbs and then go build myself a really easy to make cart that I'll need before doing a small job at 3pm. It's amazing how routinely I struggle with things like this. It totally bogs down my mind. It's like I dread every little thing. I feel it's similar to what some people call social anxiety, but it's more about dread for me. Dreading this continual grind of life that I genuinely don't enjoy.

I'm always thinking of how can I keep to myself? How can I stay in my own world while doing all this? How can I keep detached from the people around me? Maybe I just feel society is so depressing here, I just want to engage with it as little as possible. In America the country is so powerful, but all I see is how this power is being abused to enforce systematic oppression and to cover up the cost of blatant negligence. We're so propped up by the backs of other countries here that we really have become a depressing society. It's not hard to be an American in the slightest I think. It's just really depressing.

 

[seaspray]

I also strugglelike this.I think its called motor retard sensation-when there is a very visceral paralysed feeling that makes functioning a nightmare..

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The society in general is depressing because moszt of the people who form the society are depressed already because they are not happy with their lifes and many other things. So how could a society not be depressed by itself? Most people are just not really happy with their lifes but things are good to go while for many of us here we far below this level.

I can relate to the one or other things you mentioned that are taking me ages to do to just activate the energy to do only simple things, It's really exhausting and people who have not experienced this themesleves can't talk about it they have no idea how much more exhaustion this causes. I hope you can find peace and a way out of oyur situation! I wish you all the best!

 

[angelicisight]

I also strugglelike this.I think its called motor retard sensation-when there is a very visceral paralysed feeling that makes functioning a nightmare..

I think for me it's far more existential than it is reasonable. There's nothing in my genetic makeup to make me feel the way I do I'm fairly confident of that, so there's no medical diagnosis I would regard well as it relates to me.

The society in general is depressing because moszt of the people who form the society are depressed already because they are not happy with their lifes and many other things. So how could a society not be depressed by itself? Most people are just not really happy with their lifes but things are good to go while for many of us here we far below this level.

I can relate to the one or other things you mentioned that are taking me ages to do to just activate the energy to do only simple things, It's really exhausting and people who have not experienced this themesleves can't talk about it they have no idea how much more exhaustion this causes. I hope you can find peace and a way out of oyur situation! I wish you all the best!

I don't know. I hear of countries in Latin America, Bangladesh, and Philippines are the ones I am most familiar with. The society is mostly united although there is definitely tension in bigger cities I know because the divide between rich and poor is really apparent. Still the people are more socially unites. To me, it's not depressing in the some way although I do hear a different depression of hopelessness take those people. There is a real lack of opportunity. I know particularly in Africa they are filled with incredible energy towards Americans because they are so desperate for opportunity. The point is, I don't think it's so simple to know how our society relates to others, but I would say at least for American society, life is depressing. The sense of meaning is challenged because the environment is needlessly toxic and accepted because the powers that be leverage themselves well enough to keep the masses accepting and keep the masses wary towards anything potentially better. It just feels depressing because it so heavily depends on ignorance. Although now in writing that I suppose ignorance drives all systematic evil in society perhaps, and that is depressing for everyone, so I may see your point in a roundabout way.