deciding when to do it

[wildflowers1996]

I really, really want to ctb right now, but I just can't do it to my parents.
I'm 28. My parents are in their early 70s.

I think my plan is to ctb once they have passed. I don't know how long that will be. It may be a long time.

But I also have a brother. I know that my ctb will hurt him, and I want to do everything I can to make it easier on him when I do do it.
As in, plan as much as I can (and pay for) my own funeral, leave a letter explaining it's not his (or anyone's) fault, get rid of all my things in advance so he doesn't have to do it.
He's married so as long as he and his wife stay together he won't be alone, and I think I'll write to my cousins asking them to support him.

I just am struggling with knowing I may have a long time to wait. That I will likely become a carer to my parents and will have to go through them both passing.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm trying to wait out my mom, it's been many years now. I don't know how much longer I can do it.

 

[nohopenolife]

I just dont care anymore. My mum is the only thing that is keeping me here but even that isn't helping me anymore