Venting Decided on a date / little about my situation

[Releasefrompressure]

7th of May. Saturday.

I am in a difficult circumstance. I have had a great life and been married for 20 years.
Couple of years ago me and my wife decided to retire in South America.
Things where going well until last year I was told I have esophageal cancer, after months of pain, was bit of a shock.

We had just finished buying our house outright, so faced with the prospect of having to sell our house in order to fund treatment, i decided on suicide.

The pain is getting to the point now where It is unbearable and I want to go. I am at the point where every morning I think. "I want death' first thing as I wakeup.

I haven't told my wife I have decided on the date yet, and I am in two minds.

Do i tell her now ? so she has a few days to get to terms with it or let her know the day before and assert that I am ready.

We know that i am going to kill myself. I have decided this with her. She put up objections for a while but I told her I would not allow her to do stop me.


In a way i do feel like I am being robbed of few years but by the same token, I can feel a little bit of pride knowing I looked after my wife.

I did not allow her to sell our one humble property in order to prolong my life.

I stuck to my obligations as a man and a husband and am taking a decision that is a bit scary but I have to do..

I take the idea of having an honorable death very seriously and in a way i am proud to have this, although not under the circumstances.

Thanks for reading

 

[Wizard999666]

I might be going this week as well if my SN arrives. Best of luck.

 

[SubZero]

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. I can't even imagine the pan that the cancer is causing you.

Is it terminal? Do the doctors prognose remission after treatment?

I want to tell you that I respect your decision and If I were you, I would tell my wife the truth. I think after 20 years of marriage she deserves it.

 

[outrider567]

7th of May. Saturday.

I am in a difficult circumstance. I have had a great life and been married for 20 years.
Couple of years ago me and my wife decided to retire in South America.
Things where going well until last year I was told I have esophageal cancer, after months of pain, was bit of a shock.

We had just finished buying our house outright, so faced with the prospect of having to sell our house in order to fund treatment, i decided on suicide.

The pain is getting to the point now where It is unbearable and I want to go. I am at the point where every morning I think. "I want death' first thing as I wakeup.

I haven't told my wife I have decided on the date yet, and I am in two minds.

Do i tell her now ? so she has a few days to get to terms with it or let her know the day before and assert that I am ready.

We know that i am going to kill myself. I have decided this with her. She put up objections for a while but I told her I would not allow her to do stop me.


In a way i do feel like I am being robbed of few years but by the same token, I can feel a little bit of pride knowing I looked after my wife.

I did not allow her to sell our one humble property in order to prolong my life.

I stuck to my obligations as a man and a husband and am taking a decision that is a bit scary but I have to do..

I take the idea of having an honorable death very seriously and in a way i am proud to have this, although not under the circumstances.

Thanks for reading

I would not tell her the exact date--She already knows your plans--Quite sorry to hear this awful news about your cancer, my own brother also has a terminal diagnosis

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, that sounds like such an horrible situation to be in, this life is just so cruel and unfair and to me it is awful how our bodies are capable of torturing us. I hope you find peace and freedom from pain, I wish you the best.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

Not knowing your wife, my thoughts might not really be relevant. Since she originally argued with you about the suicide, I probably wouldn't tell her anything specific at this point. Even though she stopped arguing with you about it, does not mean that she agrees with your decision. When it happens, if she knows or finds you before it is final, she might decide to get you help in order to try preventing success. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[fillthevoid]

This is so sad that it literally comes down to money. Life is priceless. But I can see your problem in wanting to ensure your wife is cared for and not homeless. It must be extremely difficult for her to cope with this as well and will continue to be difficult for her after you as gone, as she may feel it is down to her that you are gone and she may never be able to get over that. You need to think carefully on this.

I'm so very sorry. It's unfortunate that so many things could be made better with money. It is really shit that this is a thing you ever have to decide on. This system we are in truly sucks. I so wish I could just give you the money for treatment.

As for your question. I think you should be honest with her as soon as possible. If you're doing this together then she needs to be involved or it's going to hurt her in the long run. You need to think about damage control and protecting her now and in the future, not only physically/financially but also emotionally.

I'm really sorry for your situation and I hope things work out for you in the best way that they can.

 

[Releasefrompressure]

This is so sad that it literally comes down to money. Life is priceless. But I can see your problem in wanting to ensure your wife is cared for and not homeless. It must be extremely difficult for her to cope with this as well and will continue to be difficult for her after you as gone, as she may feel it is down to her that you are gone and she may never be able to get over that. You need to think carefully on this.

I'm so very sorry. It's unfortunate that so many things could be made better with money. It is really shit that this is a thing you ever have to decide on. This system we are in truly sucks. I so wish I could just give you the money for treatment.

As for your question. I think you should be honest with her as soon as possible. If you're doing this together then she needs to be involved or it's going to hurt her in the long run. You need to think about damage control and protecting her now and in the future, not only physically/financially but also emotionally.

I'm really sorry for your situation and I hope things work out for you in the best way that they can.

Lot of things come down to money, either directly or indirectly. Maybe in ways you haven't considered. For example someone who is battered mentally by mental health issues. With capital behind him he can explore treatments that may have better chance of success that he doesn't even know exist now because of his situation.

Of course money doesn't solve every problem though. I should of died a long time ago and i am happy with my decision. i have completed life. I know this is right for me

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess what I don't understand is that you have a house in South America, but you don't have any health insurance that would cover treatments for you cancer?