playalistic
LLJODYWOAH
- Jul 5, 2025
- 35
After having considered & processed the decision to end my life over the past couple months, I feel like I've become certain that my method will be heights. The reason being, probably less fortunately, it's extremely easy access for me lol. Across the world the popularity of suicide methods vary, usually being things like by gunshot (especially in the USA) or hanging or whatever, in countries like Hong Kong and South Korea, interestingly enough, by far in these countries heights is an exceedingly common method if not the most popular method, due to the easy access to high rise buildings & skyscrapers in those countries. Me personally, I live in the suburbs in the US, but I live a 30 minute driving distance from a bridge that is among the highest in the world. I have visited this bridge before (not with suicidal intent, just because there is nothing to do here lol and the views are really breathtaking, its just a cool spot to visit/smoke at whatever) and it is a pretty common suicide site with a lot of documented suicides. I think it used to be easy to vault over the railings, but over the past few decades they've installed extended guardrails in place, however it's extremely easy to go under the bridge and climb up onto the catwalk/walkway where you can walk a far enough distance and make the leap, there's no netting or other safety precautions in place beyond that, if you want to die there it is easy to do so.
I am 20, but due to my circumstances it is a very difficult/lengthy process to acquire a gun, I will not hang myself because it's a pretty grim method and even though I'm going to die I'm not going to let my family see the aftermath of that, SN/peaceful pill is a method that could work/is painless but from the brief information i've seen regarding that it looks like a very in depth process, which while it is doable and a reasonably better method than others why would I go through the work/effort of acquiring all the necessary materials, doing the whole plan/step by step method of consuming each substance, etc when I can just jump and press the metaphorical death button? The bridge is so high that there is a 99.99% chance of fatality, without revealing too much information it is over 500 ft deck height and it's a hard landing.
I also saw this post on a 4chan thread years ago which reaffirms my decision and makes it seem like the best method all things considered:
Now, a lot of parts of this are correct. If from a sufficient height, onto a hard landing, scientifically yes, you will die instantly. You will feel absolutely no pain. However, the part I ponder about is the fall on the way down. It is not necessarily a fully painless method. Physically sure. Psychologically/mentally speaking?
From what I've researched, a fall from this height will last approximately 5-10 seconds. During those 5-10 seconds, one will feel the most excrutiating dreadful psychological terror there is to experience. Freefall is one of the most terrifying experiences a human being can possibly take on. During those 5-10 seconds, one will be filled with extreme panic, regret, and terror. I guess knowing this is eased by the fact that the second you jump, the second you step off the deck there is a 99.99% chance of fatality so there's no pain until death is imminent. However, it's something that I think about. During my research as well the only way to really fully eliminate this freefall terror psychologically, is by using hard narcotics. Meaningfully the only way this fear can be eliminated/minimized is if you're using hard benzodiazepines like xanax, even if you're drunk or under the influence of other anxiety meds it's not enough to numb the terror involved with freefall. Maybe 5-10% of people will not feel terror after the jump if they are truly extremely depressed & mentally ill & absolutely sure of their decision, but I'm not sure i'll fall into that category, and not 100% of people even will even if they are sure of their decision.
Idk, i'm just kind of vomiting my thoughts here. I'm ready to go, but I think about the 5-10 seconds before I go and what that will feel like. Maybe it's a little silly pondering upon that knowing that it's a better method than most & my access to it is fortunate. I know how to get my hands on benzos if need be, but I have never used hard drugs or even alcohol in my life. I'm not even worried about the survival instinct as much as I am the terror, I feel like I fear it a little bit even though it'll be shortlasting and probably worth it when compared to the agony involved in other methods..
What does SS think in regards to this dilemma & also how to potentially bypass the terror using substances?
I am 20, but due to my circumstances it is a very difficult/lengthy process to acquire a gun, I will not hang myself because it's a pretty grim method and even though I'm going to die I'm not going to let my family see the aftermath of that, SN/peaceful pill is a method that could work/is painless but from the brief information i've seen regarding that it looks like a very in depth process, which while it is doable and a reasonably better method than others why would I go through the work/effort of acquiring all the necessary materials, doing the whole plan/step by step method of consuming each substance, etc when I can just jump and press the metaphorical death button? The bridge is so high that there is a 99.99% chance of fatality, without revealing too much information it is over 500 ft deck height and it's a hard landing.
I also saw this post on a 4chan thread years ago which reaffirms my decision and makes it seem like the best method all things considered:
Thankfully for me, I don't even have to worry about the traveling part lol.
Now, a lot of parts of this are correct. If from a sufficient height, onto a hard landing, scientifically yes, you will die instantly. You will feel absolutely no pain. However, the part I ponder about is the fall on the way down. It is not necessarily a fully painless method. Physically sure. Psychologically/mentally speaking?
From what I've researched, a fall from this height will last approximately 5-10 seconds. During those 5-10 seconds, one will feel the most excrutiating dreadful psychological terror there is to experience. Freefall is one of the most terrifying experiences a human being can possibly take on. During those 5-10 seconds, one will be filled with extreme panic, regret, and terror. I guess knowing this is eased by the fact that the second you jump, the second you step off the deck there is a 99.99% chance of fatality so there's no pain until death is imminent. However, it's something that I think about. During my research as well the only way to really fully eliminate this freefall terror psychologically, is by using hard narcotics. Meaningfully the only way this fear can be eliminated/minimized is if you're using hard benzodiazepines like xanax, even if you're drunk or under the influence of other anxiety meds it's not enough to numb the terror involved with freefall. Maybe 5-10% of people will not feel terror after the jump if they are truly extremely depressed & mentally ill & absolutely sure of their decision, but I'm not sure i'll fall into that category, and not 100% of people even will even if they are sure of their decision.
Idk, i'm just kind of vomiting my thoughts here. I'm ready to go, but I think about the 5-10 seconds before I go and what that will feel like. Maybe it's a little silly pondering upon that knowing that it's a better method than most & my access to it is fortunate. I know how to get my hands on benzos if need be, but I have never used hard drugs or even alcohol in my life. I'm not even worried about the survival instinct as much as I am the terror, I feel like I fear it a little bit even though it'll be shortlasting and probably worth it when compared to the agony involved in other methods..
What does SS think in regards to this dilemma & also how to potentially bypass the terror using substances?
