Death in the ocean

[WantToGoHome63]

I don't want my family to know. I wish more than anything I could just be at the wrong place at the wrong time. But I don't see that happening anytime soon. If I died in a car accident or a mass shooting or just disappeared and was presumed dead, I think it would be less traumatic for my loved ones. I would prefer to just take the fentanyl pills that I have and fall asleep peacefully. (I bought them for that specific reason but have never done that drug before) I worry that even the high dose I have won't kill me and if I overdose, there will be an autopsy and they will know anyway. And then I'll be labeled as a drug addict once I'm gone. So then they will have to deal with the shame of that on top of everything else.

I don't have a gun but that seems like the most sure bet from everything I've read. My boyfriend just shot himself a few weeks ago and I'm grieving him terribly but am also jealous that he didn't take me with him when he went. I see all the pain it is doing to his family though. So here's what I'm thinking...

I want to take a vacation to somewhere with an ocean and go out in the middle of the night, deep into the water and shoot myself. Yes, I would have to get a gun first, I know. But my body will float, right? And I don't want to be found. So would I have to tie something heavy around my feet to ensure that I sink after I'm gone? Does anybody know what I would need to do in order to just float to the bottom of the ocean so that my family would believe that something must have happened to me while I was out of town on vacation?

 

[sanctionedusage]

i'm so sorry about your boyfriend

suddenly disappearing just weeks after your boyfriend passed might be more obvious than you think. and going missing indefinitely might be harder for your family to deal with, never finding your body or knowing if you're still alive & out there as a victim of human trafficking.

logistically, did you plan on walking/swimming to your desired depth? carrying a weight while swimming out at that depth while doing that seems impossible unless your method was drowning instead of firearm. if you meant by boat, renting one out at that hour might be difficult/alarming to most tourist-friendly boat guides.