chxse88
Member
- Aug 18, 2026
- 18
As October slowly creeps in and my exit strategy draws closer, my emotions are a tangled mess. I'm tormented by the thought of "what could've been," even though I know I shouldn't be. Within a short time, I'll be back in the void of non existence for eternity. But my human nature drags me into a delusional state, acting like these man made rules, regulations, and this modern day slave labor force are actually normal.
Once you're in that headspace, it's so hard to interact with people who are still fully indulged in the beliefs the higher ups use to control the population. If you speak out against it even a little, people think you're batshit crazy. I hate being involved with this completely scummy planet. So many people say we're lucky to exist because the odds are low, but I don't give a fuck, especially if you were dealt a terrible hand from the very beginning.
What breaks it down for me is how the general population is so bent on some sky daddy that they prey to on a daily basis. They devote so much to it, complete bullshit, I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not realistic at all. It makes zero sense. And half these people fully involved in this belief are smart people. I don't get how they define themselves and stay away from the idea that it is just a coping mechanism. I get it, you do you, but damn, I wish I had been raised from an earlier age not believing in religion because it only fucked me up in the long term.
I was raised believing in it from a young age, so when I found out it was false, it fucked me up even more. I had a traumatic accident back in 2016 I completely dropped the religion bullshit because there is no higher up who would fuck over an innocent person this deeply for any reason. Then you have people saying that it was "meant to be" or happened "for a reason"like, what the actual fuck? No.
I've tried literally everything in my power, with the cards I was dealt, and in the end, I just made my situation worse. I had plans to go full hermit in the woods and disconnect, live fully off grid from this twisted existence, but nature no longer brings me peace. This world has broken me down to my last core. I'm so fucking lonely, and all my coping mechanisms and hobbies are gone. I'm locked away in a dungeon of my own doing, it feels so fucking isolating. I haven't heard from anyone in months, and when I do, it's never anything good. This weight I'm holding is brutal.
Once you're in that headspace, it's so hard to interact with people who are still fully indulged in the beliefs the higher ups use to control the population. If you speak out against it even a little, people think you're batshit crazy. I hate being involved with this completely scummy planet. So many people say we're lucky to exist because the odds are low, but I don't give a fuck, especially if you were dealt a terrible hand from the very beginning.
What breaks it down for me is how the general population is so bent on some sky daddy that they prey to on a daily basis. They devote so much to it, complete bullshit, I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not realistic at all. It makes zero sense. And half these people fully involved in this belief are smart people. I don't get how they define themselves and stay away from the idea that it is just a coping mechanism. I get it, you do you, but damn, I wish I had been raised from an earlier age not believing in religion because it only fucked me up in the long term.
I was raised believing in it from a young age, so when I found out it was false, it fucked me up even more. I had a traumatic accident back in 2016 I completely dropped the religion bullshit because there is no higher up who would fuck over an innocent person this deeply for any reason. Then you have people saying that it was "meant to be" or happened "for a reason"like, what the actual fuck? No.
I've tried literally everything in my power, with the cards I was dealt, and in the end, I just made my situation worse. I had plans to go full hermit in the woods and disconnect, live fully off grid from this twisted existence, but nature no longer brings me peace. This world has broken me down to my last core. I'm so fucking lonely, and all my coping mechanisms and hobbies are gone. I'm locked away in a dungeon of my own doing, it feels so fucking isolating. I haven't heard from anyone in months, and when I do, it's never anything good. This weight I'm holding is brutal.
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