day one of no contact

[exiled]

i escaped my abusive family of origin. i'm 28.
i officially changed my phone number and did not give it to them.
i said goodbye to them yesterday and let them say goodbye to my dog.
they're moving across the country because they cannot cope with me leaving them like this.
but my whole life has been a disaster due to their abuse.
healing feels impossible.
suicide feels like the only option.
it's only day one.
i gotta give it time.
but i need support and love.
im hiding at a friend's house with my dog right now because i dont want my parents to try and see me on their way out tomorrow.

my story is insane and my history is impossible to type into words but.... please be sending good vibes my way. this is the new thing - well, the "last ditch effort" thing - that i try before ctb

 

[hikikomorizombie]

good luck!!! proud of u not only for getting away, but trying to exhaust all options before kys as well<333

i have a friend on here who's no contact w their abusive family too. hopefully they'll see this & be able to give u some advice/suggestions abt it.

 

[Dingusguy]

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you manage now that you have gotten away from your abusive family, it sounds like you have been through some tough shit.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Hopefully things will start looking up for you now that you are away from them. I hope that you can heal from whatever form of abuse you endured. I wish you the best.

Today is my day one of no contact as well. I'm leaving here in about 30 minutes, and have no plans to contact family.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i havent talked to mine in almost 10yrs

 

[SVEN]

Hang in there … you can always pop on here when you wish to.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

i escaped my abusive family of origin. i'm 28.
i officially changed my phone number and did not give it to them.

I'm proud of you! You can do this! All of my support!

 

[Raven2]

I hope maybe no contact will be healing for you and you can try and live as normal as you are able to. Good luck

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Good for you, I hope things work out. Must have been a really hard thing to do but it seems like a step in the right direction. Love the pfp by the way :)

 

[exiled]

Thank you to everyone for all the sweet comments.
I feel absolutely crushed right now.
Appetite destroyed. Joy stolen.
Though, unshakeable peace because I know it is the right thing.

I go back to work tomorrow after being hospitalized and having surgery, plus then catching the flu from the hospital... And the week ended with no contact with family. It's been rough and to know I have to live life "normally" on top of it all is honestly the hardest thing about it all.

Life is a bitch.

I hate when people try to tell you how good this world is and how beautiful things are. There's nothing but pain.

Oh well, capitalism continues to kill me.

@lifewasawillowtv I LOVE YOUR USERNAME

 

[Raindancer]

You have a lot to recover from(meaning surgery, illness, stress etc) Be kind to yourself over the next days and weeks and just know it may be easier to be triggered. But I hope over some time you can get some peace and serenity now that you are on your own.

 

[exiled]

Everyone at work tomorrow is going to either look at me with so much pity or ignore me because they don't even know what to say. Ugh joy.

 

[whats_the_point]

You are so brave for doing this. I have wanted to go no-contact with my family for about a decade now but the guilt is eating at me. Also, I'm from a culture where abandoning elders/parents is the worst thing you can do. Also, here everyone is up in everyone else's business. I know of one person who went no-contact and has been hounded by relatives and family friends for years - even after they changed numbers, blocked everyone and changed addresses. I don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle society's condemnation. This thread is giving me some hope to hang on to.

It's been only day 1 for you so I can't even begin to imagine how depressing and stressful it must be. However, please vent on this thread, the least we can all do is lend a kind ear.
Best of luck!

 

[sadcausebad]

I understand leaving an abusive family behind, I had also changed my family and have been no contract for over a year. I wish the best of luck for you.

 

[ropearoundatree]

If you decide, in stead to live... then there is always the option, or the opportunity to start a family of your own. However, I would understand completely if you just can't do that. And most certainly pass no judgment in that regard It's just that, as I am of middle aged--I now know of some women who are in / or who were in / similar situations as to you. And they have gone on to (by now) raise children who have grown up ...well, basically with the exact or identically opposite experience as did they. This was obviously by design. I however, would likely be unable to fulfill such a task, as I'd imagine I wouldn't be able to withstand the trauma (of that) on top of; or in addition to, whatever it is that I've already got! So, I understand you & your position - either way! :) Good luck~

 

[exiled]

You are so brave for doing this. I have wanted to go no-contact with my family for about a decade now but the guilt is eating at me. Also, I'm from a culture where abandoning elders/parents is the worst thing you can do. Also, here everyone is up in everyone else's business. I know of one person who went no-contact and has been hounded by relatives and family friends for years - even after they changed numbers, blocked everyone and changed addresses. I don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle society's condemnation. This thread is giving me some hope to hang on to.

It's been only day 1 for you so I can't even begin to imagine how depressing and stressful it must be. However, please vent on this thread, the least we can all do is lend a kind ear.
Best of luck!

Hi! I'm actually Indian, born and raised here but with parents that have the same type of culture! If you need to talk I'm here!

 

[whats_the_point]

Hi! I'm actually Indian, born and raised here but with parents that have the same type of culture! If you need to talk I'm here!

Thank you! Now I understand a bit about why you want to go no-contact.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Thank you to everyone for all the sweet comments.
I feel absolutely crushed right now.
Appetite destroyed. Joy stolen.
Though, unshakeable peace because I know it is the right thing.

I go back to work tomorrow after being hospitalized and having surgery, plus then catching the flu from the hospital... And the week ended with no contact with family. It's been rough and to know I have to live life "normally" on top of it all is honestly the hardest thing about it all.

Life is a bitch.

I hate when people try to tell you how good this world is and how beautiful things are. There's nothing but pain.

Oh well, capitalism continues to kill me.

@lifewasawillowtv I LOVE YOUR USERNAME

Haha thanks! If u ever wanna pm me feel free, I know you're feeling especially isolated right now.

 

[exiled]

Almost done with day two. I want to kill myself.

 

[the old man]

Giving up anything is always going to be a struggle and stressful time at first, whether that is, drink,drugs,any habit,addiction,partner or family.. just think of it as getting rid of the chains that have held you down and now you have the freedom to create your own future and direction you want to go. Many Many people have already and are better for it.

 

[FundamentalAspect]

This will be the seventh year since I finally got away from my abusive family. It is hard because there is so much trauma, but being rid of them has been a huge relief. There is much more freedom now and I am slowly trying to learn to be a person.

Going NC is a brave thing to do, especially in a culture where it is frowned upon. Please be gentle with yourself as you start heal from all of the things you have going on right now, and keep us updated on how you are doing.

I wish you the very best.