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nothingbutyou

nothingbutyou

spread love
Apr 28, 2025
77
Day 2 of VSED at home.

No assisting medications because they are punished in my country, unfortunately very severely…
My head hurts a lot but in a positive way, i.e. sleepiness, mental confusion and forgetting memories, muscle spasms, sometimes I feel my heart skipped a beat, and black urine.
As for hunger and thirst, I don't feel them much.
All I fear is organ failure, and especially kidney failure..
I fear that I will not succeed and the quality of life will get worse.
Can you support me please? I believe that fear is not a justification to stop VSED.
 
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Reactions: endlesschatter, t8129, Praestat_Mori and 4 others
I

itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
2,146
I'm not sure what to say. Very brave if you to attempt this. To make it this far. Giving support to you, however this turns out.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,584
I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I wish u all the best and I hope u find peace :heart:

We're here for you 🫂
 
Alexandra_

Alexandra_

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
889
I tried to go through this 10 years ago. Then I tried a few more times, but the SI was stronger. I only lasted about 5 days. My face was very swollen then. Keep in mind that after 5 days, irreversible brain damage can occur and organs can start to fail. I hope you have thought this through carefully. If you decide to back out, your life could become even more painful. This is a very difficult and very, very long way to die (10 days). I am sorry you are going through this; I understand what it is like to live and suffer for many years. I wish you all the best.
 
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hughmun9

hughmun9

Experienced
Feb 22, 2023
216
I tried to go through this 10 years ago. Then I tried a few more times, but the SI was stronger. I only lasted about 5 days. My face was very swollen then. Keep in mind that after 5 days, irreversible brain damage can occur and organs can start to fail. I hope you have thought this through carefully. If you decide to back out, your life could become even more painful. This is a very difficult and very, very long way to die (10 days). I am sorry you are going through this; I understand what it is like to live and suffer for many years. I wish you all the best.
10 days if you're lucky, there's some elderly folk who take 16-17 days to pass or even longer
 
Last edited:
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nothingbutyou

nothingbutyou

spread love
Apr 28, 2025
77
I tried to go through this 10 years ago. Then I tried a few more times, but the SI was stronger. I only lasted about 5 days. My face was very swollen then. Keep in mind that after 5 days, irreversible brain damage can occur and organs can start to fail. I hope you have thought this through carefully. If you decide to back out, your life could become even more painful. This is a very difficult and very, very long way to die (10 days). I am sorry you are going through this; I understand what it is like to live and suffer for many years. I wish you all the best.
Organ failure will happen sooner or later to all human beings in their final stages of life, and realizing that has eased some of the burden of thinking about it for me. In a natural death, it happens without the person's choice, whereas in a voluntary death it happens by their own decision, yet both lead to the same outcome: organ failure. All methods of suicide ultimately lead to organ failure, but I see VSED as more merciful than most methods, slow and unpredictable, with a gradual loss of consciousness followed by death.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
5,012
I am confused, you should not be experiencing these symptoms for more than a week, if not a few weeks, how do you already have black urine and organ failure on day two?
 
hughmun9

hughmun9

Experienced
Feb 22, 2023
216
Day 2 of VSED at home.

No assisting medications because they are punished in my country, unfortunately very severely…
My head hurts a lot but in a positive way, i.e. sleepiness, mental confusion and forgetting memories, muscle spasms, sometimes I feel my heart skipped a beat, and black urine.
As for hunger and thirst, I don't feel them much.
All I fear is organ failure, and especially kidney failure..
I fear that I will not succeed and the quality of life will get worse.
Can you support me please? I believe that fear is not a justification to stop VSED.
I'm sure you're aware of this nothingbutyou, but VSED is listed as a non-method that should not be attempted in the pinned suicide resource compilation thread. It's incredibly difficult to achieve on your own and more than likely will end up causing you unnecessary harm... I know it's the last thing you want to hear especially after you've committed yourself to doing it, but I thought I'd at least mention this since it hasn't been said so far.
 
hevnsfall

hevnsfall

Cat mom
Jul 18, 2026
83
What do you do to fill up your time? Do you read? Do you watch movies/documentaries?

Where are you from?

I recommend an app called insight timer. It will keep you company and soothe your mind with meditation.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts 💕
 
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