Venting Dangerous people on the forum

[CyanideSoup]

Watch me get banned for this.

Although this forum is a safe space for so many of us, there are dangerous people here who use our vulnerability to their own advantage. Even though they are a minority, they still exist here and still aim to manipulate or harm those of us who are unsuspecting and already in pain as it is. We have all heard of the scammers who lurk here and the members who use their status on the forum to manipulate others. Some of us have first hand experience with those people. However there are even more dangerous people here who aim to hurt you or make you hurt yourselves. We can't just ignore that anymore.

In my case, I was contacted by another member who also lived in the UK. He told me he had SN for me if I could travel to his house. He promised he would make sure I died peacefully and painlessly, with no problems. This was all I wanted so I considered it but declined after another failed attempt. After a few weeks things got even worse for me and I posted looking for a method that didn't look like suicide. The member contacted me again and he said that he could help me with a way that would work for me.

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach. That if it looked like a murder my family wouldn't hate me. I was desperate for the pain to stop so I agreed but I was scared. His plans just progressed further and further. He said he would drug me first so I didn't have to suffer during the hanging, and talked about ways he wanted to violate my body before and after he hanged me. He said he might keep me as a slave for a few days before he killed me. When I said I couldn't come because I couldn't get childcare for my 2 year old daughter he suggested I bring her with me and after he killed me he would drop her off at a police station. It was traumatic and I was terrified of him. When I tried to back out he would tell me not to worry and to just stick to the plan, and that it was just survival instinct. He told me how he'd helped other people too and it was his mission to help others make the suffering stop. He also told me he worked in cyber security so it seemed like he knew my location and all of my personal details . At this point I felt like if I said no he would just come and kill me anyway so I had started looking at bus tickets. Luckily he was arrested a few days before I was due to travel to him. Another member had reported him to the police. All I can do is thank that person because I don't know what he would have done with me.

 

[Deleted member 10475]

Jesus fucking Christ, this is terrifying. I'm so glad you're ok!!

 

[I’mDone]

Why do you think you would get banned for this? It sounds like a truly horrible and frightening situation, especially when he talked about keeping you as a slave or you bringing your child. That's awful!

 

[MaybeSoon]

It's terrifying that people like that can get access to this forum. Pleased you managed to avoid the situation.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Watch me get banned for this.

Although this forum is a safe space for so many of us, there are dangerous people here who use our vulnerability to their own advantage. Even though they are a minority, they still exist here and still aim to manipulate or harm those of us who are unsuspecting and already in pain as it is. We have all heard of the scammers who lurk here and the members who use their status on the forum to manipulate others. Some of us have first hand experience with those people. However there are even more dangerous people here who aim to hurt you or make you hurt yourselves. We can't just ignore that anymore.

In my case, I was contacted by another member who also lived in the UK. He told me he had SN for me if I could travel to his house. He promised he would make sure I died peacefully and painlessly, with no problems. This was all I wanted so I considered it but declined after another failed attempt. After a few weeks things got even worse for me and I posted looking for a method that didn't look like suicide. The member contacted me again and he said that he could help me with a way that would work for me.

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach. That if it looked like a murder my family wouldn't hate me. I was desperate for the pain to stop so I agreed but I was scared. His plans just progressed further and further. He said he would drug me first so I didn't have to suffer during the hanging, and talked about ways he wanted to violate my body before and after he hanged me. He said he might keep me as a slave for a few days before he killed me. When I said I couldn't come because I couldn't get childcare for my 2 year old daughter he suggested I bring her with me and after he killed me he would drop her off at a police station. It was traumatic and I was terrified of him. When I tried to back out he would tell me not to worry and to just stick to the plan, and that it was just survival instinct. He told me how he'd helped other people too and it was his mission to help others make the suffering stop. He also told me he worked in cyber security so it seemed like he knew my location and all of my personal details . At this point I felt like if I said no he would just come and kill me anyway so I had started looking at bus tickets. Luckily he was arrested a few days before I was due to travel to him. Another member had reported him to the police. All I can do is thank that person because I don't know what he would have done with me.

Just one of the rules of life imo : DTA : Don't Trust Anyone. Don't trust anyone anywhere no matter who they are,where they are, what they say or , how long you've known them. People can even put on acts pretending to be someone they are really not , even for months. That's why i would never trust anyone to kill me because they could promise to kill me but they might not for a long time and torture me or leave me alive in a disabled state after they tortured me. Another rule of life is "if you want something done right do it yourself"

 

[mathieu]

That is really scary. I remember on ASH there used to be some people advertising that they would kill you and eat you. Freaky.

 

[Alec]

Ummm what the fuck? This sounds insane, I have no idea how you got through it! How do you know they got arrested? Is there a news article about it or something? Thank you for sharing your story!

 

[Meowkin]

I'm glad you're all right. You didn't deserve to be preyed upon like that.

 

[CyanideSoup]

Ummm what the fuck? This sounds insane, I have no idea how you got through it! How do you know they got arrested? Is there a news article about it or something? Thank you for sharing your story!❤

The police tracked my IP and I had to make a police statement. No articles yet but he hasn't been charged yet. Hopefully he gets what's coming to him

 

[I’mDone]

That is really scary. I remember on ASH there used to be some people advertising that they would kill you and eat you. Freaky.

That did happen, at least once. Armin Meiwes was the killer/cannibal...

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Whoever that person was, I am glad they are gone and that you got through this safely. It serves as a good reminder that psychopaths are everywhere, even in places where we feel safe.

 

[last_tour]

lmao, don't trust anyone here, this entire site could all be a massive sting operation. Don't know why they even have a partners thread, its highly dangerous. Lots of things dont make sense here making it highly suspect. Also if you knew anything about MK Ultra, you would probably feel like staying away from here, because its like a gold mine to mad scientists.

 

[Shinbu]

Did you report the guy to a mod?. That's why meeting people is dangerous, I'm glad you didn't go through with it. That guy sounded dangerous. There should be a new rule in place in my opinion, that we can't meet each other in real life, because we can't know someone's true motive.

 

[Tintypographer]

Watch me get banned for this.

Although this forum is a safe space for so many of us, there are dangerous people here who use our vulnerability to their own advantage. Even though they are a minority, they still exist here and still aim to manipulate or harm those of us who are unsuspecting and already in pain as it is. We have all heard of the scammers who lurk here and the members who use their status on the forum to manipulate others. Some of us have first hand experience with those people. However there are even more dangerous people here who aim to hurt you or make you hurt yourselves. We can't just ignore that anymore.

In my case, I was contacted by another member who also lived in the UK. He told me he had SN for me if I could travel to his house. He promised he would make sure I died peacefully and painlessly, with no problems. This was all I wanted so I considered it but declined after another failed attempt. After a few weeks things got even worse for me and I posted looking for a method that didn't look like suicide. The member contacted me again and he said that he could help me with a way that would work for me.

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach. That if it looked like a murder my family wouldn't hate me. I was desperate for the pain to stop so I agreed but I was scared. His plans just progressed further and further. He said he would drug me first so I didn't have to suffer during the hanging, and talked about ways he wanted to violate my body before and after he hanged me. He said he might keep me as a slave for a few days before he killed me. When I said I couldn't come because I couldn't get childcare for my 2 year old daughter he suggested I bring her with me and after he killed me he would drop her off at a police station. It was traumatic and I was terrified of him. When I tried to back out he would tell me not to worry and to just stick to the plan, and that it was just survival instinct. He told me how he'd helped other people too and it was his mission to help others make the suffering stop. He also told me he worked in cyber security so it seemed like he knew my location and all of my personal details . At this point I felt like if I said no he would just come and kill me anyway so I had started looking at bus tickets. Luckily he was arrested a few days before I was due to travel to him. Another member had reported him to the police. All I can do is thank that person because I don't know what he would have done with me.

My word! So very sorry. That has the be the scariest creepiest horror story style discussion and predatory thing I've ever read. I know it's virtually impossible in a state of total despair but please please please vet those kind of recommendations here as a "sanity" check. The overall group of people here would have probably caught onto the creepy factor with that set of personal remarks very quickly. It's not at all your fault that someone who belongs locked up as a true murderous intent predator took advantage of your situation. Please, everyone on here who is in a desperate and fragile state, DO NOT SIMPLY ACCEPT ANYONE WHO WANTS TO HELP YOU CATCH THE BUS AT FACE VALUE ANONYMOUSLY ON HERE. CONSIDER THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP HELPING WITH CATCHING THE BUS TO BE AS IMPORTANT AS MARRIAGE! IF YOU WOULDN'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T MET BEFORE WITHOUT VETTING OR IF YOU HAVE A CREEPY FEELING, DONT TRUST THE FINAL AND BIGGEST DECISION YOU COULD EVER MAKE IN A MOMENT OF DESPERATION AND FEAR!!!!!!

 

[Alec]

The police tracked my IP and I had to make a police statement. No articles yet but he hasn't been charged yet. Hopefully he gets what's coming to him

That must've been scary when the police contacted you, I'm so sorry you had to go through it all!!

 

[NekoNomNom]

Dear fucking lord. I am so glad that you and your child are safe, and that they arrested that creep. I know that it's hard and terrifying to die, especially alone, but please be very careful. Whatever you decide to do, we would all want it to be in a safe and peaceful manner ♡

 

[4eyebiped]

This site, on a whole, is like a large support group. Since this is a support network of sorts, feel free to reach out to other members here and seek their advice in times like this. If you don't know anyone directly, don't hesitate to message more active users, as I am sure they won't mind. There is a large number of people here that would love to assist. Also, feel free to report people you feel are harassing, exploiting or whatever other bad behavior.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I really appreciate that you posted this, and I hope the thread doesn't get deleted.

Members need to be aware that shady things do happen on this forum. Personally, I wish there wasn't a Partners Megathread, then there would be less of a lure for perpetrators.

Your story is exactly what I have in the past publicly warned members could happen if they allowed someone else to kill them -- abuse, trafficking, etc. (edit: not blaming you for what was done to you, only highlighting this shit is real).

Posts like yours bring awareness so members can better protect themselves. There are people who use the Partners Megathread to catfish, to emotionally abuse, to get their kicks, to scam, and at worse, what you've written about here. Folks who are in need and desperate may be willing to overlook red flags, and predators rely on this. I'm glad to hear that you and another member took appropriate action. It's empowering to all the genuine folks that you told this story.

I would say to pay attention to someone's presence on the forum if they engage in response to a Partners Megathread post. If there is someone with little public activity like posting or participating in chat, then I would question their motives. If it's someone who has a higher profile presence, I would pay attention to their consistent behaviors, which indicates their character. If one senses a red flag, I would say to always trust that above all else, because a covert manipulator will test with greenlighting, that is, if you're willing to overlook one small bad behavior, then they'll progress to a worse one, and keep progressing.

Some members, when a behavior is called out, may say things like, "Why can't we take people as they are?" or "We shouldn't judge." There is a tendency in an environment like this to want to give the benefit of the doubt and to not cause suffering/instability to people who may actually be suffering/unstable, and to take on blame if the other person reacts by leaving the forum, or is "pushed" to ctb. A genuine perpetrator, however, relies on potential victims giving them the benefit of the doubt, so personally, when my red flag radar is going off, I don't take on what another member thinks and subsequently lower my necessary, self-protective boundaries. Pity and guilt can lower one's defenses to their own detriment, and someone who wants to take from you will often play pity and guilt cards to get what they want. If someone else plays the card for them, even better. That doesn't mean other members are in on the scam with them; many of us have been conditioned to downplay bad behavior and make excuses, and some folks just don't see it. There was a time when I didn't, so I have empathy and compassion for that. If in my past I ever said to someone about a perpetrator's sketchy behavior, "Oh, he's not that bad," I hope they listened to their guts and not to me.

For folks who are uncertain about manipulation tactics, here's a helpful thread. One post in the thread lists behaviors a manipulator will seek to exploit, such as rationalizing their behaviors. What is not listed is what's very important on a forum like this -- exploiting genuine needs and desperation. This thread highlights additional language and tactics a manipulator/perpetrator may use to persuade.

 

[deadpixels]

This is the most terrifying story that I've read here. By no means you should be banned, this post should be stickied instead!

I'm glad that you're ok but just thinking about the possibility that some previous users may have felled his prey makes me feel really bad.

The police tracked my IP and I had to make a police statement. No articles yet but he hasn't been charged yet. Hopefully he gets what's coming to him

Do you know how the police got your ip? Did SS give it to them?

 

[Epsilon0]

Please report the incident to the mods, so they can at least ban the user. You have been subjected to the most disgusting and vile form of abuse. These lines in your post make me shudder:

"He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach. That if it looked like a murder my family wouldn't hate me. I was desperate for the pain to stop so I agreed but I was scared. His plans just progressed further and further."

I am sorry you found yourself in contact with a sick maniac. I thank you for your courage to share the story with the forum. Are you ok?

Stay safe, everybody! It's a mad world out there & in here.

 

[Nolye]

What the hell? What the actual hell?! What kind of sick bastard can even think of doing that? My God, this world... it's sickening.

OP, are you okay now? Please, be safe out there, you never know what kind of "people" you can meet, especially online.

 

[Fragile]

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach. That if it looked like a murder my family wouldn't hate me. I was desperate for the pain to stop so I agreed but I was scared. His plans just progressed further and further. He said he would drug me first so I didn't have to suffer during the hanging, and talked about ways he wanted to violate my body before and after he hanged me. He said he might keep me as a slave for a few days before he killed me. When I said I couldn't come because I couldn't get childcare for my 2 year old daughter he suggested I bring her with me and after he killed me he would drop her off at a police station. It was traumatic and I was terrified of him. When I tried to back out he would tell me not to worry and to just stick to the plan, and that it was just survival instinct. He told me how he'd helped other people too and it was his mission to help others make the suffering stop. He also told me he worked in cyber security so it seemed like he knew my location and all of my personal details . At this point I felt like if I said no he would just come and kill me anyway so I had started looking at bus tickets. Luckily he was arrested a few days before I was due to travel to him. Another member had reported him to the police. All I can do is thank that person because I don't know what he would have done with me.

the fuck did i just read. it takes a full blown sociopath to make these kind of proposals and intend to carry on with them. seriously, that guy is fucked in ways that most of us can't even grasp, i'm glad that he is being prosecuted.

so sorry that you had this experience on this place, but i guess that these people are just unavoidable on the internet in general.

 

[CyanideSoup]

What the hell? What the actual hell?! What kind of sick bastard can even think of doing that? My God, this world... it's sickening.

OP, are you okay now? Please, be safe out there, you never know what kind of "people" you can meet, especially online.

I wish I could say I'm okay now but it's really traumatised me. I suffer with hallucinations where I'm convinced he's breaking into the house to kill me and my daughter. I have panic attacks about it randomly in the middle of the day. I can't sleep properly thinking that I've put my daughter at risk. It's been a few months now and Im still living it every day.

(BTW, If anyone has any experience like this and wants to vent, or is just in need of somebody to talk to my inbox is open)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Well done for posting. That was brave of you and I have nothing but respect that you shared this. What a horrific experience, I'm so very sorry you went through this.

It is no surprise to me. If I was a a death junkie pervert, where on the internet do you think I'd hide out? A suicide forum maybe? And on the partners thread? Nail on obvious, you can't trust anyone who offers anything like that.
I know people share things on here that are personal. Real identities, Video chat, phone calls etc and even meet. And sometimes this is okay, sometimes people you get to know can be trusted. But often not.
This place is anonymous by default and it WILL always attract it's fair share of deviants. Everyone ranging from the narcissistic psycho-vampire to the sexual predator to even worse.
I wouldn't touch that partners thread with a barge pole even if I was interested in such a thing. It's a magnet for the filth of the internet, because this is an open site.
I'd add that anyone that encounters this sort of monster just report it straight away. Recognise that you are in a vulnerable position and refuse to get dragged in.
Report.
And always be wary of anyone who tells you what you want to hear. What they think you want to hear to get what they want. That kind of compassion manipulation is very effective even on clever people, it's easy to fall into that trap when you are hurting.
If you are going to swim in shark infested waters, the least you can do is expect sharks to try and eat you.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

(BTW, If anyone has any experience like this and wants to vent, or is just in need of somebody to talk to my inbox is open)

I recently posted the following thread in hopes people would tell stories that bring to awareness what a sketchy and dangerous place the Partners Megathread is. Maybe folks are scared to speak out and I get that, so no pressure, but others have occasionally shared on the forum when they've had carrots dangled by guys who just wanted a sex partner and not a ctb partner.

If there's bad stuff going on, folks need info to make an informed decision. Perhaps if enough folks speak out, a next step would be having a public discussion about the possibility of taking down the megathread (it was taken down once in the past, not sure why). Or maybe the site owners will come to the conclusion on their own that offering the megathread offers more than choice, it offers opportunities for predators, I think far more than genuine opportunities for genuine people. (Edit: Or maybe add a sticky thread that cautions with transparency and honesty what are the risks in participating on the megathread.)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/partners-megathread-what-has-your-experience-been-like.38514/

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Personally I'd suggest that it offers more opportunity to sex predators than it does to anyone else. It's like a notice board for perverts, a shopping list they can pick and choose from. Make no mistake, they are there and watching. They'd still be here even if that thread is junked. It's naive to think otherwise. But if that's true,then that thread must act like a one stop shop.

 

[Jean Améry]

That is a ghastly story indeed. Sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you're ok and they caught him.

In a way it makes sense that this forum would attract such people (predators looking for prey). I strongly urge anyone who is confronted with this kind of antisocial behaviour to immidiately report it to the mods. Such people need to be removed asap.

 

[Erdapfel]

Why would you have gone into this offer at all? Getting involved in such an offer is extremely naive and dangerous.

 

[Epsilon0]

This is the most pathetic cry for attention ever....

Also considering suicide while you have kids is disgusting.

Have you ever heard of something called the Dunning-Kruger effect?

It's a concept from the field of psychology and it basically means that incompetent people overestimate their abilities because they are too inept to understand when they are out of their depth.

(By the way, my question was purely rhetorical.)

 

[Living sucks]

I feel that something like this, where it is proven via police contact, should be verified by the mods and the handle of the perp should be released to the members for safety reasons.
this guy can easily create another account and try again.

We want suffering to end ... but it's why I've decided a partner is too dangerous bcuz they could do exactly what this guy said... abuse you before killing you... for months or longer ??
anyone who offers to kill you has ulterior motives.
the fact that you were looking into bus tickets after he was so explicit and descriptive of what he might do is baffling. Why would you not report him immediately to the mods and never reply? I'm concerned for you... please do not entertain any more partner ideas.