DAE wake up feeling anxious?

[byebyered]

I haven't felt this way in like 2 years. I wake up & my chest feels so heavy. My thoughts start to go 180mph so I quickly get on my phone for a distraction. I feel tense laying in my own bed. I'm sooo fucking stressed and I hate waking up feeling like the world is about to end. I'm literally thrown into flight or fight mode as soon as I start my day. I'm always fucking on edge and idek why sometimes…

 

[bed]

I frequently experience this. I have woken up and gone straight into a panic attack multiple times. It's terrible to experience it daily, especially during your first waking breath. You really don't get a break, I sympathize with you. I also find when you don't know the reason behind your anxiety it's so much worse. It's paralyzing too, for me I feel like I can't do anything productive for the day.

When it happens, I usually end up just sitting there in the washroom running cold water over my hands and face while my heart is pounding out of my chest and i can't sit still because I'm shaking so badly. Taking a benzo helps me a lot more but it's a double-edged sword since it increases your baseline anxiety but it is what it is.

 

[outrider567]

I haven't felt this way in like 2 years. I wake up & my chest feels so heavy. My thoughts start to go 180mph so I quickly get on my phone for a distraction. I feel tense laying in my own bed. I'm sooo fucking stressed and I hate waking up feeling like the world is about to end. I'm literally thrown into flight or fight mode as soon as I start my day. I'm always fucking on edge and idek why sometimes…

I always wake up, most nights intense dreams, but become almost instantly depressed

 

[tryingtoescape]

I wake up having an anxiety attack, with intense fear and dread. Realizing I'm actually alive and have to exist with these health problems.

 

[tryingtoescape]

I woke up so nauseous I almost vomited and I curled into a bell and squeezed my childhood stuffed animal in my arms and started crying. I got out of bed and took a clonazepam. I am so scared. I have to go soon. I wake up in a panic attack every single morning. I can't go on like this.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I usually wake up with a sense of dread and anxiety. It's the worst moment of the day for me. For one- the awful realisation that I'm alive and then, all the worries start flooding in.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes, I usually wake up with a sense of dread and anxiety. It's the worst moment of the day for me. For one- the awful realisation that I'm alive and then, all the worries start flooding in.

If only your father could understand something expressed so lucidly.

 

[Forever Sleep]

If only your father could understand something expressed so lucidly.

Thanks so much. He can't though. He wakes up grateful to be alive- despite the fact that he's getting old and in pain.

Sometimes, I toy with the idea of going before him but trying to ease the shock by explaining it beforehand. I think that would be just as bad for him though. It's not like he's never felt suicidal. I think he did after my Mum died. Ironically- he says it was me who kept him going. (No great accomplishment- I was 3.) It's not something he would understand for me though. I think- if I either did it, or even told him, it would break his heart.

I expect that makes it sound like we're really close but really, we're not in reality. He loves who he thinks I am and he cherishes the last part of my Mum left here.

Thank you for your reply though. I agree- if only our families knew how we really experienced life, maybe they would be more willing to let us go.

Sorry for derailing the thread OP.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I always woke in the middle of the night with panic attacks...it is terrible.

 

[novem]

I wake up having an anxiety attack, with intense fear and dread. Realizing I'm actually alive and have to exist with these health problems.

Me too, will it ever end with acceptance?