DAE have literally no friends, and socially awkward no matter how much you practice?

[DesolateSouls]

I am 27 and don't have single close friend. I have acquaintances from work and school, but I simply cannot hold down friendships. Every one of them fails somehow and it almost always feels like I care more than the other person. It always feels like there is an invisible wall between me and other people preventing me from truly being able to connect with anyone. No matter how much I try to socialize I just feel like I don't understand how to do it and I am permanently awkward. Don't even get me started on romantic relationships, I have very little experience with that for my age. All I want is to be able to connect with other people but no matter how much I try I fail. I'm very focused on CTB because IMO there is really no point to live without heartfelt connections to other people, we are a social species after all. CTB is the only way to break the wall and find peace.

 

[Gaga786]

I'm feeling the same way. I don't have any close friends or any friends at all, and it's not like I can make any. I hesitate regarding what to say infront of others, and I end up making fun of myself or coming off as a fool. I also have a speech impediment which makes it very hard to communicate.CTB seems to be the only way out for me, and that sucks because I don't want to live like this all my life and wish I could live happily. However, that'll never be the case depending on how things are going for me.Wishing you the best though. Take care of yourself

 

[Takamagahara]

Sort of similar. I have friends but they're only friends with me because I put on a very convincing act and I know how to tell people what they want to hear, so I don't really consider them "friends" friends.

There's that quote from Robin Williams about how the only thing worse than being lonely is to be surrounded by people who make you feel alone. That's basically my social situation.

 

[fwompie]

I have one friend irl after 10 years of not having any (I'm 24 now). I met her through a group vacation (which was an impulsive decision because I have social anxiety but was also very suicidal and wanted to use my money) where more people were awkward and "different" I guess. I find it very hard to keep up friendships though because I'm doing well often mentally. Luckily she has more friends but still feel like it's going to die out any time soon.

You just have to find the right place to meet the right people. Took me 10 fucking years though. Online friendships are much easier. You're allowed to just disappear for a while.

 

[StolenLife]

I have no friends either but to be honest for me it's more by choice since I distrust people and they trigger me. That doesn't bother me much. The thing that does bother me is how awkward I seem when I stumble all over myself while avoiding eye contact. I hope that you are able to one day find someone who will appreciate your company.

 

[Hollowman]

Zero friends, I ruined them all. Now I can't connect no matter how hard I try. One of the main reasons I have to ctb.

 

[spinningship]

I have 1 friend I speak to every couple of weeks or so. He has ADHD and I have autism which I find complement each other well.

I'm the same I'm always awkward around people and find it impossible to get on with them unless they're also neurodivergent.

I'm always insecure that the other person in a friendship doesn't care about me at all and secretly hates me. It leads me to sometimes just tell someone to leave as I'd rather they just weren't in my life than 'pretending' to like me.

I've said the exact same thing to myself when I was at my lowest, 'there is really no point to live without heartfelt connections to other people'. The truth is as romantic as that quote sounds it's not true. Some people are just meant to be by themselves. At least that's what I tell myself maybe that's just me coping.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

I don't have any friends besides the people I work with. Basically I had my wife and that was all I needed. It sucks being awkward all the time and either over sharing or just not talking.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

yep. In fact I'm not even just socially awkward, I'm flatout stupid. And I ruin relationships and I act rude. You wanna know the best part? I have no control over my actions when that happens. It happens automatically.

 

[front of me]

No friends it's not big problem WHO CARES?

 

[anhedonicNfoggy]

I can fake my way into fitting in sometimes. But I end up isolating myself bc too tired and would rather lay in bed. Other times, I just zone out and just stop taking the friendship seriously. They've checked out themselves. I don't even care anymore. It's weird I have times when I desperately want connection and understanding but I also have times when no one nothing I have the patience for. It's really not that I'm ungrateful. I just either feel lonely or completely bored with the world