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TheHatedOne

TheHatedOne

Death is salvation
Sep 26, 2021
2,028
sorry to keep posting, i feel like venting more than usual. I wonder if there's anyone else who's too drained to give a fuck about stuff anymore. Because of this I need to withdraw in order to protect myself. I don't know how to describe this state, maybe my situation will give a better idea:

A first example would be relationships. I can't be bothered forming another friendship since I don't have what it takes for that anymore. I feel that actually relationships made me like this in the first place. Or mostly. I don't have what it takes to be insulted again, to be used, hurt and then discarded by selfish humans who lure you in and then they manifest their sickest desires on you. (There were only two exceptions regarding this). I can't. I'm done with this bullshit. Last two experiences, especially with the one who name called me and told me to go kill myself was enough. I'm not going to let myself be trampled on like that ever again. Appearances always deceive, it's the main lesson I have learnt throughout life. Humans took out the little bit of light I had in me. I can't be bothered investing my time in them anymore. I don't have the energy. Can't.

Then it's my awful life itself. I don't have the energy anymore to be a ''functional'' member of society or follow the life script (in education only) even a bit. I don't have the energy to ''better'' myself. No energy to be productive. I'm all drained and used up to worry about ''what will I do?'' career and education wise.

Even something simple as doing a chore makes me feel like breaking down and after I complete it, I crash on the bed or couch and sit for another hour because I'm too drained.

I'm too drained to even think about me being unlikable and ugly. I don't give a shit anymore.

I'm too drained to eat, shit, piss, shower, dress up, put shoes on, clean and everything. All in all I have no energy left to keep existing. Even as I type this I feel my whole body fatigued. Also mentally and emotionally fatigued. I'm very sorry if my messages seem distant and not much put effort into, I really struggle with this and I try my best. I'm a ruin nowadays.

I'm also very sorry for this trash post, I feel like I didn't even explain well...
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Me too. My body is starting to rot from the inside out. There is nothing that i feel like doing. Living in pain for most of the time and I dont have energy for anything. The worst part this could drag for decades and I am completely powerless to improve my health or my living circumstances. There is nothing that can be done to fix anything
 
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TheHatedOne

TheHatedOne

Death is salvation
Sep 26, 2021
2,028
Me too. My body is starting to rot from the inside out. There is nothing that i feel like doing. Living in pain for most of the time and I dont have energy for anything. The worst part this could drag for decades and I am completely powerless to improve my health or my living circumstances. There is nothing that can be done to fix anything
I'm 20 and they say that at this age you'll feel the best. Lol.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I'm 20 and they say that at this age you'll feel the best. Lol.
My 20 sucked bad. Mostly my whole life. In my 36 years of living i would say I only got about 3 years in total of not so bad existence even though i was sick physically during but i had some hope that things could turn out fine. At least that big fat lie called hope gave me a semblance of some tranquility during those not so bad times. I wish you find some peace and happiness in the remainder of your life
 
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I-can-only-imagine

I-can-only-imagine

Student
Apr 26, 2021
135
Yep. A common saying I say to my case manager who I am always 99.9% honest with (know about thoughts and plans just not WHAT the plan is) is "I just don't give a fuck any more". I am tired and empty, physically and emotionally.
 
W

waitingforrest

Elementalist
Dec 27, 2021
842
I completely agree with you. Tried all my life to be a functional member of society, never worked. Now, I just don't give a fuck. Every time I think about improving myself, I just remember: "Why bother. I'm just going to die anyways."
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,615
I do not have the energy for anything and I am constantly tired. I do isolate myself to avoid getting more upset and stressed by things. I just want to fall asleep and never wake. Life is just a pointless struggle day after day. We are brought into this world just to suffer. I wish you the best, I understand it is hard to carry on when you are tired of everything.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,984
Yeah I can't do shit for lack of energy. Half an hour at the mall and I'm completely spent. After 3 hours of socializing I can sleep for two days straight. Most days I don't even leave the house, or if I do it's a quick grocery shop for 20 minutes then back home. Only to piddle around watching old shows I've seen a hundred times or fly around in video games I don't give a shit about. I do literally nothing.
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
I'm the same way. Always have been, but worst for the past 2 years. It's gotten all bad after a long period of mental torture, brought on by a past relationship that refused to let me break up.
Now I can't find my way back to 'normal'
I'm mostly reclusive but content with it.

What does one do about this, the constant washcloth state?
 
Versailles

Versailles

Enlightened
Oct 1, 2020
1,647
Then it's my awful life itself. I don't have the energy anymore to be a ''functional'' member of society or follow the life script (in education only) even a bit. I don't have the energy to ''better'' myself. No energy to be productive. I'm all drained and used up to worry about ''what will I do?'' career and education wise.
I'm sorry you feel that way, but are you forcing yourself to follow some social standard?
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Yeah. Every day is less and less.
 
maakies

maakies

DOOK
Dec 7, 2021
132
I have said similar things to friends in real life and they newest reply is "everyone feels that way lately." It is impossible in the US to feel good with these circumstances.

I am currently in a boat as you are. Trying to pretend to concern myself with professional or educational development only to sate the people around me. Not really working out too well.
 
S

shaitoo

Member
Dec 10, 2021
6
when people ask me what I am doing my usual response is "I am pretending to care about things I really don't give a shit about. Feels like I've done this all my life but didn't say it. Now I am brutally honest in my responses.
 

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