cutting ties, gifting/selling belongings, paying off debt

[sanctionedusage]

im not even close to ctb'ing yet but im consistently making sure i'm as ready to do it at any given moment as i can be

paid off all my credit debt in a month

i just gifted a pc i built yeaaars ago instead of selling. fuckhead nazi gangrenous ballsack & obese monkey of a brother took it out of the box to try to score it for himself without telling me and some other shit was missing too as a result. i was gonna argue with the buyer to keep some profit but i was like? over double digits, not even enough for the wooden box id be buried in. over something i wouldn't use for the rest of my life, even if i lived to 60. so i was happier to just refund them and let them keep it as a gift since they sounded fr about crafting their own build. i didnt lose any money; the parts were a gift from my dad on my 16th and it was a pickup, so no shipping.

im pretty confident all my clothes will just go to my sister w no prob. im not buying any bulk or specialty hygiene products i could potentially leave behind unused and unfinished.

i cut off this one bitch that was really good at distracting me from ctb just barely often enough to feel mildly better, only for the majority of the time with her to be completely mundane or full on deprecating. my heart was racing so fast i almost backtracked but i just kept reminding myself how my life was exactly the same when i never spoke to her and it wasnt a big deal. i have two left, which are pretty easy since we're not close and it just takes a week or so of ghosting for them to fuck off

started saving up with a goal to cover cosmetic procedures ive always wanted this year to then ctb in 2027. might not even do them though, and if i dont, id just leave the cash to my mom for the rescue. i just like having money saved up in case anything impulsive i do turns out to be really expensive

trimmed and stretched my rope obvi, 12mm polypropylene

i was thinking of switching methods from hanging to firearm since Im in the US (north) and plan to have at least several more months alive. no one in my family or around me's a trigger-happy little conservative puppet, so id have to go the traditional legal route which is kind of a lot of work in my state. im not sure how that'd even go for me. idk how women get approved for shit like that without looking inherently demented. what business does a 5'3 girly and dainty thing in a peacoat have, filing to carry? especially if you're socially awkward LOL. it makes sense if you just think about the risks young women face, but in practice, no young woman actually goes that route for self defense so you'd still just look like you have some other ulterior motive and a predisposition to violence or something.

 

[BillyBob]

Just be careful giving away/selling items. It is normally a big give away to people that you are planning to kill your self most likely.
If you are planning to get a firearm. Just make sure you are not put in a ward or anything before that happens or you will not be able to get a firearm for along time.
A fire arm is a good thing for a female these days. You can say you live alone and need protection and since you are a female it might make it easier to get one, also being on the smaller side, hopefully there is a higher chance you can get one.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Just be careful giving away/selling items. It is normally a big give away to people that you are planning to kill your self most likely.
If you are planning to get a firearm. Just make sure you are not put in a ward or anything before that happens or you will not be able to get a firearm for along time.
A fire arm is a good thing for a female these days. You can say you live alone and need protection and since you are a female it might make it easier to get one, also being on the smaller side, hopefully there is a higher chance you can get one.

thank you for the careful warnings & advice all noted