pancakelover20
going to sleep
- Jul 16, 2025
- 23
everyone tells you what to do until they cant. until you figure out they were never any smarter than you about anything. until the thing thats eating and eating away at you is the fundamentals of life you cant escape.
i try to embrace the bad but sometimes i look down at myself and everything else and i dont know where to put the next foot. sometimes it feels like i just live in a black void that ive only ever been hallucinating images of good into, and when i loose my focus and change my line of sight a bit it all falls away and it all starts to engulf me again. lately its more than just my vision of the outside being sucked away and into that nothing, its myself. i feel like the image and way i used to perceive myself was the only thing lighting up everything else bright enough so i could at least see my hands in front of me. now i just feel like everything accept my literal consciousness awareness is gone. my traits and beliefs are slipping through my fingers. hell, my fingers are slipping through my fingers.
i dont know where to go or who to talk to. i wish there was certainty.
i try to embrace the bad but sometimes i look down at myself and everything else and i dont know where to put the next foot. sometimes it feels like i just live in a black void that ive only ever been hallucinating images of good into, and when i loose my focus and change my line of sight a bit it all falls away and it all starts to engulf me again. lately its more than just my vision of the outside being sucked away and into that nothing, its myself. i feel like the image and way i used to perceive myself was the only thing lighting up everything else bright enough so i could at least see my hands in front of me. now i just feel like everything accept my literal consciousness awareness is gone. my traits and beliefs are slipping through my fingers. hell, my fingers are slipping through my fingers.
i dont know where to go or who to talk to. i wish there was certainty.
