thebayleaf
my thoughts will follow you into your dreams
- Nov 6, 2025
- 60
heya, just wanna run this plan by people here. I think it's pretty well thought out, but I could be missing some glaringly obvious issue that's slipped by me. any feedback is appreciated.
the plan is full suspension hanging. was originally going for night-night, but it seems inconsistent and unreliable. the location will be a tree that's around 50 metres from the road and not easily visible. it has branches that are the perfect height for my needs.
I live with family and will leave a note on my desk, face down. if someone enters my room after I leave, a face down piece of paper on my desk won't draw attention, but once my death is confirmed, it will become glaringly obvious to anyone looking for a note. I also have an excuse for leaving the house which shouldn't be questioned.
I have 6 paracetamol/codeine pills lying around. they add up to 3000mg paracetamol & 180mg codeine. I haven't done codeine in ages, but I remember 120mg makes me feel like I'm two beers drunk, so 180mg shouldn't have me passing out or anything. I plan to take these pills as I start walking to the spot where i'll hang myself, it's a 30 minute walk, so they should start hitting around when I arrive.
once I'm there, I'll set up my noose, listen to music, relax and watch the sunset, then ctb after that. If i'm having issues with SI despite the opioid high, I've brought with me a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes. a shot and a smoke should kill any remaining anxiety.
from there, pretty standard fsh. noose will be tied using an arbor knot. i'll stand on a milk crate, tighten the noose at the top of my throat, above the larynx, knot at the back, hyperventilate for a minute to purge co2 from my system, then step off the milk crate and pass out a few seconds later. it's possible my body could be spotted and cut down before death occurs, but it seems incredibly unlikely as it will be dark by this point.
I've seen people recommend covering the knot on the noose with soap so it can constrict easier, but the rope I'm using is a smooth cotton rope (10 meters long and 16mm in diameter) and I'm concerned adding soap to an already pretty fiction-less rope won't do anything except massively increase the amount of constriction from 'adequate' to 'oof ouch this is crushing my neck', which will be unnecessarily painful for no benefit. I think just my body weight will provide enough constriction to compress the arteries in my neck. I also see people recommend wrapping a towel or scarf around your neck for additional comfort + better constriction, but I'm not sure how necessary this is.
another concern I have is that I could possibly panic and step back onto the milk crate. not sure how I could prevent this. perhaps setting things up so I drop a couple inches? not sure how far I'd need to descend to make stepping back onto the crate impossible.
anyway yeah, that's everything I can think of. i'm at 3 failed ctb attempts and i'd rather die than see that number go up to 4 (lol). let me know if you think i've overlooked something or you see room for improvement.
btw, I've had a couple shots tonight so apologies for any typos/spelling errors/weird phrasing
the plan is full suspension hanging. was originally going for night-night, but it seems inconsistent and unreliable. the location will be a tree that's around 50 metres from the road and not easily visible. it has branches that are the perfect height for my needs.
I live with family and will leave a note on my desk, face down. if someone enters my room after I leave, a face down piece of paper on my desk won't draw attention, but once my death is confirmed, it will become glaringly obvious to anyone looking for a note. I also have an excuse for leaving the house which shouldn't be questioned.
I have 6 paracetamol/codeine pills lying around. they add up to 3000mg paracetamol & 180mg codeine. I haven't done codeine in ages, but I remember 120mg makes me feel like I'm two beers drunk, so 180mg shouldn't have me passing out or anything. I plan to take these pills as I start walking to the spot where i'll hang myself, it's a 30 minute walk, so they should start hitting around when I arrive.
once I'm there, I'll set up my noose, listen to music, relax and watch the sunset, then ctb after that. If i'm having issues with SI despite the opioid high, I've brought with me a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes. a shot and a smoke should kill any remaining anxiety.
from there, pretty standard fsh. noose will be tied using an arbor knot. i'll stand on a milk crate, tighten the noose at the top of my throat, above the larynx, knot at the back, hyperventilate for a minute to purge co2 from my system, then step off the milk crate and pass out a few seconds later. it's possible my body could be spotted and cut down before death occurs, but it seems incredibly unlikely as it will be dark by this point.
I've seen people recommend covering the knot on the noose with soap so it can constrict easier, but the rope I'm using is a smooth cotton rope (10 meters long and 16mm in diameter) and I'm concerned adding soap to an already pretty fiction-less rope won't do anything except massively increase the amount of constriction from 'adequate' to 'oof ouch this is crushing my neck', which will be unnecessarily painful for no benefit. I think just my body weight will provide enough constriction to compress the arteries in my neck. I also see people recommend wrapping a towel or scarf around your neck for additional comfort + better constriction, but I'm not sure how necessary this is.
another concern I have is that I could possibly panic and step back onto the milk crate. not sure how I could prevent this. perhaps setting things up so I drop a couple inches? not sure how far I'd need to descend to make stepping back onto the crate impossible.
anyway yeah, that's everything I can think of. i'm at 3 failed ctb attempts and i'd rather die than see that number go up to 4 (lol). let me know if you think i've overlooked something or you see room for improvement.
btw, I've had a couple shots tonight so apologies for any typos/spelling errors/weird phrasing
