CTB

[RJDos]

Thank you everyone here for being so welcoming. I will be CTB tonight. I have learned so much and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Maybe I'll meet some of you after all of this. Maybe now who knows what's next.

 

[GasMonkey]

What's your method?

 

[that smell]

Have a nice ride.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally believe that we just cease to exist after this, the thought of there being anything else really is something horrific to me. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you search for.

 

[Néncel]

It's always sad to see someone go, I wont try to persuade you but If you want to talk to someone before leaving my chat is open

 

[RJDos]

What's your method?

Recently purchased a gun and 9MM JHP ammo

I personally believe that we just cease to exist after this, the thought of there being anything else really is something horrific to me. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you search for.

I think I will. I'm just tired of fighting and it's becoming a tough battle that won't end and I can't win

It's always sad to see someone go, I wont try to persuade you but If you want to talk to someone before leaving my chat is open

Yeah

It's always sad to see someone go, I wont try to persuade you but If you want to talk to someone before leaving my chat is open

it wouldn't let me message you

 

[Néncel]

it wouldn't let me message you

Oh sorry, Im new on the forum so maybe it has to do with that? Can you now that Im following you? Im still starting to get to know how to use the forum

 

[RJDos]

I unfortunately can't I'm also new

Oh sorry, Im new on the forum so maybe it has to do with that? Can you now that Im following you? Im still starting to get to know how to use the forum

It's okay we are both new. I'm willing to talk here. I have nothing left to lose and only want to find peace

 

[Shivali]

 

[Néncel]

I unfortunately can't I'm also new

It's okay we are both new. I'm willing to talk here. I have nothing left to lose and only want to find peace

I can relate to the feeling. Well, that feeling is the entire reason why I joined the forum. Im still undecided about what to myself but it's true that sometimes just existing is too exhausting or... meaningless. Have you ever been able to talk openly about those feelings or your intentions with someone? Or this is the first time you have found yourself comfortable to talk about it?

 

[RJDos]

Thank you

I can relate to the feeling. Well, that feeling is the entire reason why I joined the forum. Im still undecided about what to myself but it's true that sometimes just existing is too exhausting or... meaningless. Have you ever been able to talk openly about those feelings or your intentions with someone? Or this is the first time you have found yourself comfortable to talk about it?

This is the first time I have been openly able to speak about my intentions without fear of being judged or called selfish or everyone being mad at me

 

[Néncel]

Thank you

This is the first time I have been openly able to speak about my intentions without fear of being judged or called selfish or everyone being mad at me

I thought so. Its difficult or almost impossible to talk about this with friends or family, with anyone really... But I see you are new to the forum, just as me, although I suppose you have been thinking about ctb for a long time? I dont want to get too personal but If you are going to leave maybe you'd like to talk openly about your feelings to at least one person... What do you feel exactly? What is pushing you to this solution?

 

[SVEN]

Thank you everyone here for being so welcoming. I will be CTB tonight. I have learned so much and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Maybe I'll meet some of you after all of this. Maybe now who knows what's next.

If it helps in any way, I'll be thinking of you tonight and wishing you well, whatever you decide. So, you may have no one with you, but at least you'll know you are in some of our thoughts.

 

[RJDos]

I thought so. Its difficult or almost impossible to talk about this with friends or family, with anyone really... But I see you are new to the forum, just as me, although I suppose you have been thinking about ctb for a long time? I dont want to get too personal but If you are going to leave maybe you'd like to talk openly about your feelings to at least one person... What do you feel exactly? What is pushing you to this solution?

Since I was a kid something always felt off in my head. I was never sure but I knew I wasn't supposed to be here. As I got older I started to realize what was wrong and I was always the problem. I always ruined things or pushed people away and I grew colder. I found one person who cared she married me and gave me a daughter but I did what I do best and hurt her and my daughter and I'm going to lose them both now. It's just always been a fight trying to live and exists and I'm just tired.. I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. If the last person I hurt before I CTB is me that's okay.

 

[RJDos]

If it helps in any way, I'll be thinking of you tonight and wishing you well, whatever you decide. So, you may have no one with you, but at least you'll know you are in some of our thoughts.

Thank you. I think I'm sure of my choice. I been just dragging along for a while now

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can certainly relate to being tired. I hope the peace you desire becomes yours upon your journey's end. Take care, friend.

 

[RJDos]

I can certainly relate to being tired. I hope the peace you desire becomes yours upon your journey's end. Take care, friend.

Thank you. I never quit fighting til the end. I just was fighting an unwinnable battle

 

[Néncel]

Since I was a kid something always felt off in my head. I was never sure but I knew I wasn't supposed to be here. As I got older I started to realize what was wrong and I was always the problem. I always ruined things or pushed people away and I grew colder. I found one person who cared she married me and gave me a daughter but I did what I do best and hurt her and my daughter and I'm going to lose them both now. It's just always been a fight trying to live and exists and I'm just tired.. I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. If the last person I hurt before I CTB is me that's okay.

That's... surprisingly close to how I feel, although Im assuming Im much younger... I recently got extremely depressed becasue after a series of missfortunes I ended up accidentally hurting the person I cared for the most. Honestly, I dont even think it was completely my fault, but I cant shake off the feeling of guilt. Im just too weak for this world, that's what I've been thinking lately. Heraing your story, maybe I'll just end up following the same path as you... Or maybe not. I dont know yet. World is too harsh.

As I said before I wont question your decision but I wish there was a way for both of us to find peace with our actions.
If you think this is the end of your battle I respect it... Just know that I'll remember you. But I hope you truly have thought about this carefully. I dont know how young your daughter is, but it seems that your pain steams mostly from whatever happened between you too. We humans cant help but screw things up sometimes.
As I said, you know better than anyone when you are prepared to ctb. But I just wish things didnt have to be like this for people like us, just wish that you and your family didnt have to go through this.

 

[RJDos]

That's... surprisingly close to how I feel, although Im assuming Im much younger... I recently got extremely depressed becasue after a series of missfortunes I ended up accidentally hurting the person I cared for the most. Honestly, I dont even think it was completely my fault, but I cant shake off the feeling of guilt. Im just too weak for this world, that's what I've been thinking lately. Heraing your story, maybe I'll just end up following the same path as you... Or maybe not. I dont know yet. World is too harsh.

As I said before I wont question your decision but I wish there was a way for both of us to find peace with our actions.
If you think this is the end of your battle I respect it... Just know that I'll remember you. But I hope you truly have thought about this carefully. I dont know how young your daughter is, but it seems that your pain steams mostly from whatever happened between you too. We humans cant help but screw things up sometimes.
As I said, you know better than anyone when you are prepared to ctb. But I just wish things didnt have to be like this for people like us, just wish that you and your family didnt have to go through this.

I never encourage other to follow my foot steps. I have always been a screw up no matter ho hard I fight to make up for my mistakes it's never been enough. I been fighting a losing battle. I wish there was a different way to find peace from all the anger and fighting and sadness. Maybe there is and you will find your own path and your own peace but I know where my path and peace are.

 

[Néncel]

I never encourage other to follow my foot steps. I have always been a screw up no matter ho hard I fight to make up for my mistakes it's never been enough. I been fighting a losing battle. I wish there was a different way to find peace from all the anger and fighting and sadness. Maybe there is and you will find your own path and your own peace but I know where my path and peace are.

That's fair. I'll try my best to try and see If I can find another path. I wish you nothing but the best and, even without really getting to know you, Im sure you have fought with all your might until today. Im proud you did it for such a long time.
May I know your name? I'd like to remember you and this exchange we had today.

 

[81-Z@P@D]

That's... surprisingly close to how I feel, although Im assuming Im much younger... I recently got extremely depressed becasue after a series of missfortunes I ended up accidentally hurting the person I cared for the most. Honestly, I dont even think it was completely my fault, but I cant shake off the feeling of guilt. Im just too weak for this world, that's what I've been thinking lately. Heraing your story, maybe I'll just end up following the same path as you... Or maybe not. I dont know yet. World is too harsh.

As I said before I wont question your decision but I wish there was a way for both of us to find peace with our actions.
If you think this is the end of your battle I respect it... Just know that I'll remember you. But I hope you truly have thought about this carefully. I dont know how young your daughter is, but it seems that your pain steams mostly from whatever happened between you too. We humans cant help but screw things up sometimes.
As I said, you know better than anyone when you are prepared to ctb. But I just wish things didnt have to be like this for people like us, just wish that you and your family didnt have to go through this.

I concur with this about thinking carefully given your daughter.

 

[Néncel]

I concur with this about thinking carefully given your daughter.

Yeah, as someone whose father took his own life I implore you to think carefully about this decision, as I mentioned before. But I dont want to sound biased or question your decision If you are 100% sure about it. Just. At least from my experiencie... A child is capable of forgiving a lot of things from his parents, as long as they are still here.

 

[RJDos]

Yeah, as someone whose father took his own life I implore you to think carefully about this decision, as I mentioned before. But I dont want to sound biased or question your decision If you are 100% sure about it. Just. At least from my experiencie... A child is capable of forgiving a lot of things from his parents, as long as they are still here.

I know she will be okay without me. I don't want her to get older and see how awful I am. Right now she loves me and that's the way I want her to remember me.

That's fair. I'll try my best to try and see If I can find another path. I wish you nothing but the best and, even without really getting to know you, Im sure you have fought with all your might until today. Im proud you did it for such a long time.
May I know your name? I'd like to remember you and this exchange we had today.

Just call me RJ. And yeah tonight is going to be a special one for me.

I concur with this about thinking carefully given your daughter.

I do appreciate the concern. She will be better off with her mother

 

[Néncel]

I know she will be okay without me. I don't want her to get older and see how awful I am. Right now she loves me and that's the way I want her to remember me.

Just call me RJ. And yeah tonight is going to be a special one for me.

Im sorry for your daughter, hope she will truly be better with his mother, although the mere fact that you are thinking about his wellbeing its proof enough that you are a good person, RJ. You arent a screwup. Your daughter loves you.

But, in any case... I'll be thinking about you tonight RJ, good luck

 

[RJDos]

Im sorry for your daughter, hope she will truly be better with his mother, although the mere fact that you are thinking about his wellbeing its proof enough that you are a good person, RJ. You arent a screwup. Your daughter loves you.

But, in any case... I'll be thinking about you tonight RJ, good luck

Thanks. What's ur name?

 

[Néncel]

Thanks. What's ur name?

It's Carlos, nice to meet you, glad we got to know each other today

 

[RJDos]

It's Carlos, nice to meet you, glad we got to know each other today

Your a good kid Carlos keep your head up. Nice to meet you

 

[cybernil]

Recently purchased a gun and 9MM JHP ammo

I think I will. I'm just tired of fighting and it's becoming a tough battle that won't end and I can't win

Yeah

it wouldn't let me message you

Hey @RJDos! Can I ask what gun you went with? Also, why hollow point?

 

[RJDos]

Hey @RJDos! Can I ask what gun you went with? Also, why hollow point?

A Taurus GX4 and from what I did a lot of my reading on those are preferred due to their penetration power

 

[Néncel]

Your a good kid Carlos keep your head up. Nice to meet you

I will, I promise