notjustyetagain
- Oct 28, 2019
- 169
i have two cats. it tears me to shreds not knowing what will happen to them when i die. i tried rehoming them for ~2 months a while back but they're quite old and not very cute (except to me: they're purrfect) -- didn't get a single offer. after my latest depression relapse and telling my mum i'm feeling suicidal, rehoming them now would also arouse immediate and profound suspicion... my family knows how much i love them. i live with my little brother, and he'd notice within hours of them being gone. strictly speaking, i guess i can still keep trying to rehome them, and possibly should, despite how badly my familial relationships would be devastated. i've got this wonderful delusion that they'll only be in a shelter for a couple of days/weeks and some cat-loving fanatic will take care of their every whim and they'll live happily ever after.
we have a lot of shelters around, but i'm not sure what % of cats are euthanised in them. there's a chance my mother/brother could take care of them, but it's not a guarantee. they've given me nothing but joy, it's a privilege to be able to pet them, brush them, play games with them. i can't help feeling immensely guilty thinking about their undoubtedly bleaker futures. they have years left to live, if nothing goes wrong, but there's just no way i can wait that long. i would prefer them to be euthanised rather than go to an abusive/neglectful owner though.
it just feels fucking wrong. i can see no clear, guaranteed way to make it better.
we have a lot of shelters around, but i'm not sure what % of cats are euthanised in them. there's a chance my mother/brother could take care of them, but it's not a guarantee. they've given me nothing but joy, it's a privilege to be able to pet them, brush them, play games with them. i can't help feeling immensely guilty thinking about their undoubtedly bleaker futures. they have years left to live, if nothing goes wrong, but there's just no way i can wait that long. i would prefer them to be euthanised rather than go to an abusive/neglectful owner though.
it just feels fucking wrong. i can see no clear, guaranteed way to make it better.