Ctb today

[ready to go....]

This feeling is strange. I'm sat on my bed for what will be the final time. I have loaded my car with everything needed, and am about to say goodbye to my dogs. My mum is completely clueless as to what is going to happen today, no one has a clue which is a good thing, but at the same time, kind of sad how my depression and suicidalness has gone completely unnoticed by others.
There is such a feeling or relief going through me right now that this will all be over in the matter of hours, this stupid life will be gone forever, I just hope that nothing fails today.
This forum has helped me a lot over the past few months, it's been great having like minded people to talk these feelings with.

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[Shivali]

Best wishes

 

[FuneralCry]

The thought of non existence certainly can be comforting and I personally believe that there is nothing more ideal than finally being free from this cruel world. I understand why you would feel relieved at the thought of everything ending. I wish you freedom.

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry it's come to this, I hope you find peace. Remember it's ok to change your mind

 

[madebrief]

Hope you look back on your life with gladness in spite of the relief going through you when the time comes. It is sad that humans feel all alone going through issues without being noticed, esp with the depression and suicidalness.
Hope the final few hours goes well, and either way, the forum will still be here if you decide to turn around and come back.

Freedom be with you.

 

[farakini]

May you find freedom and eternal peace.

 

[doublejay]

Good luck & I hope it works out. Stay courageous!

 

[Finding Sirius]

Have a safe journey to your final destination and the otherside. I hope death brings you the peace that life couldn't.

 

[ready to go....]

Thank you all for the kind words. I have just arrived at my chosen location. Its just started raining which will delay my ctb a little, but should be stopped in 2 hours. Until then, I will eat, drink and get my items set up ready to go. I feel at peace already.

 

[777]

I wish you the best of luck. I hope that you will be serene in the moment of departure. It is frightening, but as you have ruminated on the topic for a long time, I imagine it will be easier. Safe travels, godspeed, and farewell.

 

[ready to go....]

It's just stopped raining, later than forecast, but I have just started setting up my equipment and have started taking my sleepers and drinking alcohol. God I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. Mainly, I feel lonely. I haven't spoken to friends or family in a few weeks, this forum has been the only think keeping me communicating with people. Hopefully no more rain will come as I'm using the charcoal method and really don't fancy having it go out due to rain. Fingers crossed for no fails

 

[freight_train]

may luck be on your side and hope you achieve your desire

 

[madiroze]

I hope you find ultimate peace and serenity of mind from all the turmoil, suffering and pain this life has inflicted on so many of us. If there is a better place, I truly hope you get to experience the best of it. Take care and safe travels out there.

 

[Nikki2020]

I hope you are at peace soon. big hugs if i could. ❤

 

[madebrief]

Could have/would have been there with you. The charcoal method was my first choice until I came across SN (had other previous attempts).
Hope method goes well in the UK weather.

 

[Dead Meat]

I wish you the very best for a pleasant and comfortable journey and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you very Beautiful Soul

 

[flightless bird]

I'm so sorry it has come to this, in this world the worst things happen to the best people, you'll be in my thoughts, and I hope you yourself will be in the best of places.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[ready to go....]

The UK weather really isn't on my side tonight! Still sat waiting for the rain to stop. I do have a rope if it comes to it. Why is it so hard

 

[Nikki2020]

The UK weather really isn't on my side tonight! Still sat waiting for the rain to stop. I do have a rope if it comes to it. Why is it so hard

I'm sorry. ❤ are you still waiting?

 

[Tomoko]

Sending love.

 

[MidnightDream]

Wishing you luck and peace <3

 

[theboy]

Peace

 

[HerculePoirot]

The UK weather really isn't on my side tonight! Still sat waiting for the rain to stop. I do have a rope if it comes to it. Why is it so hard

Believe it or not, I was particularly happy to read this: "Last seen today at 08:50 AM"

 

[ready to go....]

Unfortunately failed last night due to the rain, am out again now though and no rain so far, so everything is ready to go. Fingers crossed for this time!

 

[CTB Dream]

Very sorry weather mak hard this many conditions circum same wrather make hard ctb. Real wish peace, anytime ask not sure forum here . Wish all ok

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hope things go more smoothly tonight. It must be stressful. I wish you a peaceful journey and freedom from your suffering.

 

[madebrief]

Weather seemed to be better today than yesterday. Hope you're in a good safe place with maybe some view to look out at.

 

[ready to go....]

Well, all failed. Had everything set up, got in the car, took the sleepers and alcohol. Was sat comfortably and relaxed, had my music playing and felt myself drifting, next thing I know, I'm being dragged out of my car by the cops and paramedics. After a week of being in hospital, I'm now home living in this fucking nightmare still. Think I need to re think my method. Fuck this stupid life